Is cycling worth a divorce?

[totallyfixed]

Not helpful I know, but I have the opposite problem, when I don't feel like riding my better half comes down the stairs dressed in lycra and suddenly it's a good idea again.
A couple of days ago we were just setting out on a ride when we stopped to talk to the neighbours and I mentioned that going out wasn't always easy and she said it ought to be following that. She had a point.
Get your other half on a bike even if it is low key stuff and ride with her, makes life a whole lot easier.

 

[Alun]

Try the direct approach, ask her "What is wrong?" she will say "Nothing". There is your answer. No problem!

 

[gavintc]

Get your other half on a bike even if it is low key stuff and ride with her, makes life a whole lot easier.

It was my wife that got me into using a bike as something more than a quick local trip. However, be prepared for double the expense. She now has a taste for Pinarello, Assos etc.

 

[Red Light]

Try the direct approach, ask her "What is wrong?" she will say "Nothing". There is your answer. No problem!

Such a complicated word in a relationship, "nothing". The only thing it doesn't mean in that context is nothing.

 

[Red Light]

the reason mrs ian likes me cycling is that when I am out on the bike she knows I am not boozing it up and/or getting in trouble at the football.

You mean some people do actually go cycling when they say they are popping out for a while, bike in hand? ;-)

 

[BluesDave]

Did you know that women thrive on confrontation and arguement. They simply can't resist contradictory discourse. I have never yet met a woman who can go for 48 hours without objecting to something, moaning about something, contradicting something or trying to pick an arguement about something.
For three months in three separate relationships over the last twelve years I timed it whenever I noticed a pattern. Men on the other hand like peace and quiet and mostly hate that kind of thing.
Whilst it is true that women are under more presssure than ever due to the changing of their role in society and the home I do not believe it excuses the behaviour.
No creature is supposed to keep the same partner for life, they are not genetically programmed to but we do because we get used to one person, it becomes habit, better the devil you know, we don't want to upset the kids, it'd cost too much money/ hassle to undo the arrangement etc.
I would be much happier and have a much more peaceful life if I was single as would many people however in many cases it's just not practical.
A woman will always find something to moan and nag about if it wasn't cycling or the way you are dressed when you cycle it would be something else.
Indeed if there is nothing for them to moan about they will actively look for or invent something and the range of subjects is astonishing also quite often nothing to do with the situation or task in hand so therefore totally illogical.
Although men do sometimes moan it is usually justified and they do not display this ridiculous unseemly behaviour.
I am afraid that's just the way things are, it's the way things have always been. You are not going to change it even if you gave her fifty million pounds.
Your choice is either put up and shut up or get out of the situation there is no middle ground.
Whatever you want to do or how you want to do it or spend your time, money or socialise will always have some kind of problem with it they are able to make up, create or find.
It sounds to me as if your missus is just finding something to complain about for the sake of it. Most of them do.
There is no such thing as a woman who doesn't nag.
Try a Japanese one. lol.
I cite my experience of a very abusive marriage in which I was a victim of repeated violence , and the relationship I am in now as my sources for this reply.

Oh and by the way if this is true...

Ld, you are married to a Scottish Lass.....never get any hassle fae them!

Where can I get one. Are there any in London that you know, are you free.

 

[screenman]

My wife does not nag or moan as you describe, however I do treat her with respect and I also certainly want to spend the rest of my life with her. Have you thought the problem may lie with you and not with women.

I think you may find there are many animals that pair for life.

 

[BluesDave]

My wife does not nag or moan as you describe, however I do treat her with respect and I also certainly want to spend the rest of my life with her. Have you thought the problem may lie with you and not with women.

I think you may find there are many animals that pair for life.

Is she mute then?

 

[screenman]

No she is not mute, but she is happy and contented.

 

[Dan_h]

For me it would be a real problem if my wife complained all the time when I went cycling. I kind of think that the respect goes both ways. If cycling is important to you and she loves you then she should respect the fact that you enjoy cycling. I can understand her being upset if you spend literally every minute out on the bike and she gets no attention at all though.

IMHO It would not be about the cycling per se, more the concept that if you love someone then what makes them happy (within reason!) should be something you accomodate. My wife does not complain when I go out on Sunday mornings for a few hours, then again I don't complain when she wants to do things that are important to her.

She does still laugh at the lycra though!

 

[colly]

Did you know that women thrive on confrontation and arguement. They simply can't resist contradictory discourse. I have never yet met a woman who can go for 48 hours without objecting to something, moaning about something, contradicting something or trying to pick an arguement about something.
For three months in three separate relationships over the last twelve years I timed it whenever I noticed a pattern. Men on the other hand like peace and quiet and mostly hate that kind of thing.
Whilst it is true that women are under more presssure than ever due to the changing of their role in society and the home I do not believe it excuses the behaviour.
No creature is supposed to keep the same partner for life, they are not genetically programmed to but we do because we get used to one person, it becomes habit, better the devil you know, we don't want to upset the kids, it'd cost too much money/ hassle to undo the arrangement etc.
I would be much happier and have a much more peaceful life if I was single as would many people however in many cases it's just not practical.
A woman will always find something to moan and nag about if it wasn't cycling or the way you are dressed when you cycle it would be something else.
I am afraid that's just the way things are, it's the way things have always been. You are not going to change it even if you gave her fifty million pounds.
Your choice is either put up and shut up or get out of the situation there is no middle ground.
Whatever you want to do or how you want to do it or spend your time, money or socialise will always have some kind of problem with it they are able to make up, create or find.
It sounds to me as if your missus is just finding something to complain about for the sake of it. Most of them do.
There is no such thing as a woman who doesn't nag.
Try a Japanese one. lol.
I cite my experience of a very abusive marriage in which I was a victim of repeated violence , and the relationship I am in now as my sources for this reply.
.

I must be lucky then.
Like mr screenman my mrs doesn't nag, moan or pick fights. Nor is she contradictory just for the sake of it.

Maybe you just happen to be drawn to the same sort of woman time after time.

 

[Hicky]

I cant believe know one has said it yet.....MTFU

I'm lucky in the fact the we only ever argue when we dont spend enough time together normally due to me having to work more than I would like, the trigger usually the kids have been at each others throats grinding her down(I'm the disaplinarian in the house)...then I get it as her outlet.

I normally let this happen as we're both aware of the reasons(although I think me being the outlet is sometimes a little childish(find another outlet for your frustrations but hey I've never said I understand women!)) after a while she'll apologise once I've let her out of the cupboard and untied her....witch.

ps, here isnt the outlet for advice if things are serious(please take the above with the humour intended).

 

[judder]

Am sure its not worth getting divorced over but it can certainly save you sanity after a divorce..And its cheaper...

 

[kishan]

wtf is your wife on drugs? your keeping fit and its your hobby you enjoy not like you do the same back to her ? is she insecure or something?ask her to join you for cycle rides too.

 

[Arjimlad]

My wife encourages me to ride to work because ..1. it saves money... 2. it makes me happier & more balanced if I get exercise and 3. she seems to want to have me around for as long as possible so the physical health benefits weigh in the balance... 4. I snore if I put on too much weight.

On the other hand if I was sodding off, & leaving her with 3 kids on her own for 5 hours at a time, at weekends, to tour the Cotswolds on my bike, she might grumble.

Good luck in resolving this. I hope you manage to get some time together to restore harmony.