Is there any way to change the narrative?

[13 rider]

Like what @User9609 said check with the council go see they are allowed to park there just because they do does not mean they can . I d check with the council if cycling is allowed in the park then complain in writing To the bowling club and council . Or decide life to short and let it go its up to you

 

[Ganymede]

Sorry you had to deal with this - not nice.

I wouldn't go straight onto social media about it as that can escalate things too fast - keep your powder dry.

The bowls club will have some sort of formal relationship with the council which owns the park. I would say write to the council, both the transport section and the section responsible for the park, and copy in the chair of the bowls club. Particularly highlight how ignorant of park rules the members seem to be ("unaware" is probably the best word to use) and that this is concerning. Point out that it could have been a pedestrian in your place since the driver was not looking and there is no reason at all why someone would have squeezed past her improperly parked/waiting car. Keep it dispassionate but state clearly what an extremely unpleasant situation it was and that you were verbally insulted/shouted at and made to feel that you shouldn't be using the public amenity of the park for no reason.

Then see what happens. I really wouldn't leave it in this case, it's unacceptable, it's not just a random traffic incident but could affect your usage of your route in future.

 

[Sara_H]

Thank you every one for your replies.
I was really shaken by what happened yesterday and couldn't sleep because of it, hence posting my long winded OP a silly o'clock in the morning.
I'd already planned to speak to the council. I'd posted on a local community Facebook group that I'm a member of and another user said he'd had a similar problem about 10 minutes after me.
I appreciate this may sound quite a petty thing to get upset about. In all honesty I think I'm at a funny age in life where I'm beginning to despair about the attitudes of my fellow human beings whether that be racism, mysogony or victim blaming of any kind.

Though taxi drivers are fair game, obviously.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

As they're claiming she did no wrong, it would highlight the ridiculous nature of that claim if you park your car in the position the old woman had put hers in, and then just leave it there at the time they're most likely to want to pass through it.

 

[Ganymede]

Thank you every one for your replies.
I was really shaken by what happened yesterday and couldn't sleep because of it, hence posting my long winded OP a silly o'clock in the morning.
I'd already planned to speak to the council. I'd posted on a local community Facebook group that I'm a member of and another user said he'd had a similar problem about 10 minutes after me.
I appreciate this may sound quite a petty thing to get upset about. In all honesty I think I'm at a funny age in life where I'm beginning to despair about the attitudes of my fellow human beings whether that be racism, mysogony or victim blaming of any kind.

Though taxi drivers are fair game, obviously.

Really useful that someone else experienced this so it can be established as not just a one-off problem.

I don't think it's a petty thing to get upset about. Confrontation from strangers is incredibly unsettling and upsetting, and I find that you sit there rolling it over and over in your mind and thinking of all the things that you SHOULD have said, and imagining what would have happened if it had got worse, and imagining getting your own back, and feeling stupid that you got into that situation, and then saying NO I am not stupid as it was them not me, and getting indignant, and wishing it hadn't happened, and JUST WANTING TO CRY. I would have been equally upset.

Remember you didn't do anything wrong. They are the agressors. The bloke who laid into you was completely out of order. He is not a gentleman, in fact he is a git. You had the bad luck to encounter him. Give yourself massive hugs from CC and don't let those horrid people ruin your day. In fact, every time you think about them, change your thoughts to something nice.

 

[winjim]

Which park was it? I bet bowling greens are great for doing skids.

 

[Globalti]

Your mistake was in stopping and wasting your breath on the old biddy.

My Mum is 85 and pretty competent and decisive and she takes pride in her driving but somehow her life is peppered by strange little incidents that happen to her in the car, some involving minor damage to the bodywork. She's never hurt anybody or caused an accident. For example she parked the car outside a church and somehow managed to get a rock jammed underneath it. Because she's not assertive she gets upset and it's not uncommon for her to be on the phone in tears with me at the other end patiently trying to work out what happened. It's old folk for you.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Thank you every one for your replies.
I was really shaken by what happened yesterday and couldn't sleep because of it, hence posting my long winded OP a silly o'clock in the morning.
I'd already planned to speak to the council. I'd posted on a local community Facebook group that I'm a member of and another user said he'd had a similar problem about 10 minutes after me.
I appreciate this may sound quite a petty thing to get upset about. In all honesty I think I'm at a funny age in life where I'm beginning to despair about the attitudes of my fellow human beings whether that be racism, mysogony or victim blaming of any kind.

Though taxi drivers are fair game, obviously.

Please don't think it is petty. They could well be local terrors that intimidate everyone not them. Parents and children etc.

They need to respect the rights of everyone and understand the privileges they have come with responsibility.

@Ganymede I still think Social media now is for the best, not to rant or publically humiliate but used in a reasonable and sensible manner to engage with local users who may well have been having similar problems and too scared/ not sure how to address them. Sara 1:1 with authority would take longer and be taken lesa seriously than if authority gets to know quickly that they do have a wider concern on their hands that requires attention before somebody else has to suffer abuse or unpleasantness like Sara and someone else within minutes, hardly likely IMO to have been isolated blips.

I know a lot think farcebook and twatter and its just morons having scattergun rants, but used properly it is an effective and appropriate means of engaging corporate UK in a sensible conversation & can provide them a lot more good information in a very timely manner.

 

[hopless500]

Which park was it? I bet bowling greens are great for doing skids.

 

[ayceejay]

I had to yell at a guy the other day who was reversing out of his drive and aiming towards me, what ensued was a rant about his annoyance at me shouting that scared him but in his angry tirade there was no mention of my danger at all. I don't understand this attitude but cyclists are not seen as flesh and blood by some motorists

 

[Crackle]

Go back at night, with a shovel.

 

[Crackle]

I'd also like to add the story of my dog, when he was young, who once disrupted a whole match when I was walking back from school pickup past the bowling green. he liked to chase balls, still does but the right ones now.

Before I could even register where he was going or draw breath to call, he dashed onto the bowling green in hot pursuit of a nice yellow ball moving at pace, which he stopped but then saw another one moving out the corner of his eye and another and another. He pretty much ran them all down in the blink of an eye, disrupting five simultaneous games but none of the old fogeys was fast enough to stop him and the cries were ringing out as I managed to grab his passing form on the way to another ball and hall him quickly into the trees and away, chaos in my wake.

I wasn't so bothered as the lazy feckers used to park in a way which blocked a road and then climb over a park fence which was now broken, rather than walk the extra 20 yards to the entrance. I smile when I see people cycling across the green or playing football on it and the only people I spare a thought for are the groundsmen: Feck 'em.

 

[Paul.G.]

I had an experience today that was quite unpleasant. So I'll describe what happened to set the scene.

There's a local park that I ride through most days. Its allocated as a traffic free cycle route and is marked as such on the local authority cycle routes map.

Just inside the park is a bowling green. It seems that the bowling club members are allowed to drive into the park and drive on the footpaths to the clubhouse and park there. I assume this is because some of the bowling club members are elderly, I'm not aware that any other members of the public are allowed to drive in there.

As I was approaching the park gates today a car pulled into the gate and stopped part in the gateway and part with the rear end of her car on the pavement. The driver then put the hazard lights on. Because the car was slap bang in the middle of the gate I was forced to squeeze through a small gap on the drivers side. Of course, at this point the driver pulled away and only very narrowly avoided hitting me.

What shocked me most was the reaction. A fellow bowling club member hearing me shout (I'd shouted as she pulled away to "STOP") gave me a glare, and then told me that cyclists weren't allowed in the park, anyhow, you can imagine the rest, it all got very unpleasant and all the standard stuff was spouted - all cyclists are a menace, don't have a bell, don't have lights, are dangerous, should be banned from the roads etc. And isn't it amazing that even though such incidents are incredibly rare, everybody but me seems to know somebody who's been knocked over by cyclists?

After a couple of minutes of this I left him, but he followed me still ranting. At this point the driver is parking up, so I approached her and tried to have a reasonable discussion with her. She admitted that she had absolutely no idea about what had just happened but then proceeded to tell me that it was my fault because cycling isn't allowed in the park (it is) and that I shouldn't have tried to squeeze past her and that I should have waited for her to pull out - I kept calm and pointed out that I'd had to squeeze past as she was blocking the gate, and that I was in effect passing a stationary vehicle so had absolutely no idea if she was about to pull out or if she was planning to park there for 10 minutes and that I couldn't reasonably have been expected to wait to find out if she was planning to pull out. Her friend is absolutely vitriolic, spitting out unpleasantness along the usual lines.
By now more bowling club members are arriving, even though none of them have witnessed whats happened they're all very sure it was my fault and aren't shy in telling me and also reminding me that cycling isn't allowed in the park, yadda yadda yadda.

Anyway, what this incident and others has made me realise that if you scratch just a little beneath the surface of most average people in this country there's an absolutely vile hatred of cyclists that seems to be based on skewed perceptions and complete ignorance.
I've often scoffed at the parallels drawn between this and forms of bigotry, but after days like today it doesn't seem too far off.

So here I am completely shaken, not so much by the event itself but by the ugly attitudes of those around me today. So shaken that its 2am and I can't sleep so am writing this long winded post.

I just wondered if there's any hope of these attitudes ever turning around?

I'm afraid I would have just waited until the driver was out of site and let all the tyres down on her car. Not proud that I would react in such a way but that's what makes me, well, me!!

 

[winjim]

These revenge fantasies (mine included) are all a bit of fun, but they're not exactly an answer to the question posed in the thread title .

 

[Dec66]

Go back after dark, with a plant sprayer filled with paraquat, and write "F**k off you silly old farts" all over their bowling green.

Sounds like it's the only language they understand.