You'd starve to death by the time you get your sandwich.
Can I help you ?
Ham and cheese salad as per the picture on the wall please.
What bread would you like ?
Don't mind, brown please.
Do you want it toasted ?
No thanks
How long do you want it, 6" or 12" ?
6" please
Would you like salad ?
Yes, as per the picture.
Tomatoes ?
Yes
Lettuce ?
Yes, as per the picture
Cucumber ?
Yes
Do you want cheese in it ?
Yes, I want a ham and cheese salad sandwich....as per the picture, in fact exactly like the picture, the big 3 foot picture behind your head on the wall that says "Ham & Cheese Salad"
Pickles ?
As per the picture
What type of cheese do you want ?
The same as in the picture
Cheddar ?
If that's what's in the picture, yes.
Red Leicester ?
Yes, whatever is in the picture
Do you want any dressing ?
No
Mayonnaise ?
No
Garlic sauce ?
No sauce or dressing
Salad cream ?
SMACK !!!!!!
Hence I stay out of the places, once bitten and all that. Same goes for Mc Muck !!
Burgers that look like they have been in someone's shoe for a week and chips that are heated with a thermal lance