Patrick Stevens said:It can work both ways, we had children when I was in my twenties and most of my friends didn't have children. They found it difficult to understand that we could not join their carefree lifestyle and were bogged down with nappies and complex logistics to do even simple things.
rich p said:I know a couple who chose not to jhave children and now regret it when it's too late. They have both lost both their parents and have no siblings and feel a little rootless. Maybe not a reason to have children but they do give some sort of belonging to a community.
FatFellaFromFelixstowe said:I have had a very similiar experience with my step sister. She had been trying for some years and within 18 months we had 2. The relationship has never been the same since and I rarely see her or speak to her although she lives less than 2 miles away. I don't suppose it is helped by the fact she married a horses arse either.
ChrisKH said:You're not alone. My sister in law always said she never wanted kids & didn't have a permanent enough partner (her first partner run off with someone at work as he wanted kids). She then became pregnant in her late thirties and lives with someone who isn't particularly liked by any of the family. We found out later she had been on fertility drugs for quite a long time before she fell and had twins and this has created some bad feeling. The relationship my wife has with her sister is somewhat strained and stems at least in part to the whole baby issue (I only have to look at my wife and she conceives). The kids (theirs and ours) get along like a house on fire. If only we could say the same for the parents.
I find it quite ironic really; my wife's parents always made a big thing about how cohesive their family was and having two (I'm one of four) children they could give more to their children and not treat siblings unfairly (a regular event in my household, unfortunately) as a result. Now the sibling rivalry between them is terrible. Both their parents are still alive and they're are still competing for attention and affection I think, even though both sisters are in their forties and don't live at home.
FatFellaFromFelixstowe said:Families, you cant pick them.
spandex said:You can't pick them but
you can leave them!
FatFellaFromFelixstowe said:I have only really ever been close to my brother and now deceased grandparents. I would consider my wife's family more of a family to me than mine
spandex said:There is me (with kids), my sis and kid and my dad that's my family. But there is 20+ overs out there which are blood but I don't know them and I don't wish to. 8years or so ago I was 6 miles from one of them and needed help so I phone them and it was No Can't help. so I had to get a friend from 70miles away to help. Another time my dad was short by £500 to get some more discount on the house so he phones up his Bro who works for BMW and has 2 house's in the UK, 1 in Germany, 1 in Spain.... loads and loads of cash and he said NO???????? that was the last time they talked.