Lanterne Rouge 2026 *spoilers* (& *wasters* & *ne'er-do-wells*) - Semi Official, Brewed Under Licence In The EU

[No Ta Doctor]

As ever, while we like a joke about the lanterne, there's a serious side to it - the riders struggling to make the time cut really are hurting. Patsy de Kleijn gives a post stage interview here telling how remembering his late father - whose suffering was far worse than his own - kept him going

 

[Pross]

Very competitive today with around 140 riders belatedly deiciding to throw their hat into the ring. Can't help thinking Pog has left his challenge too late and has lost too much time already.

 

[Blazing Saddles]

The overnight Lantern was OOT today. Meanwhile Patsy moved seamlessly into second.

 

[Pblakeney]

May Patsy’s de Kleijn long continue! Though he may have flown too close to the sun by following de Lie’s wheel. I’m not sure that I would sit behind him for that long given de Lie’s current state

Shouldn't follow him at all as de Lie withdrew yesterday.

 

[No Ta Doctor]

The main autobus came in at 22:08 today, and those that managed to drop off mainly came through shortly after, the Tudor trio managing to grab over three minutes more.

Kelland O'Brien fought on bravely alone, recording a magnificent 46:02 minutes, but unfortunately VAR got involved and declared and handball earlier in the move or something. Or maybe the ball was OTL - Over The Line. At any rate, he got sent off and will miss tomorrow's stage. Or something. Presumably the Aussie prime minister is straight on the blower to Gianni Prudhomtino and we'll see him start tomorrow on the back of a motorbike. I'm afraid a constant diet of World Cup football, not much sleep and the Tour all day may have confused me slightly

Mark O'Hallagh takes over the lanterne, with support from Patsy

 

[mididoctors]

The winner this year is going to be a honest performance.

 

[No Ta Doctor]

Patsy's de Kleijn continues, an epic 11 minutes late to the finish on a flat day. That's a full four minutes behind his closest rival for the stage. It feels as if he may have sdone too much already and I fear he won't make it over the Tourmalet tomorrow.
A brave attempt at the stage by Michael "Bong" Mathews, but honestly, he's well our of the LR running here

Patsy has a commanding grip on the Lanterne, with only teammate O'Hallagh with ten minutes of him. Berts Burger Van in third spot will be watching the back of le autobus tomorrow. Olav Kooij somehow still keeps his top ten spot for now, despite losing to literally everyone in the race today

 

[red.rider]

Clever tactic from Kooij. The big bosses got their moment of glory and now he can focus on what really matters

 

[Dogtrousers]

Looking at yesterday's results I see de Kleijn has a cunning way of avoiding being held up by crashes. He makes sure he doesn't arrive until everything is cleared.up.

He was a full 4 minutes behind Alex Molenaar who had spent time getting checked by medics after the 5 1km crash

 

[Dogtrousers]

 

[red.rider]

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He de kleijned to continue this torture

 

[Pross]

The entire peloton with one exception seemed to decide they wanted to get into the competition today.

 

[No Ta Doctor]

Absoliute carnage today, with DNFs and DNSs galore. Farewell Patsy and Bert's Burger Van
Yet again we see that for the Lanterne, the mountain stages are often a bunch finish!

Our new bottom

 

[Blazing Saddles]

Marco Haller obviously had a rush of blood today, finishing the stage 10 minutes early.
Fully deserves a dressing down from his DS.

 

[No Ta Doctor]

Oh Mark, whatever will they think of you in Tipperary, or wherever it is you come from. Will the O'Hallagh name be mud in County Cork or somewhere? You threw it all away.... 45 riders came in today in two groups with only nine seconds between them, at 26:46 and 26:55 down. They were over nine minutes down on the next slowest group. All you had to do was to stay in the right bunch and you were home safe, with you figurative lanterne glowing warmly from you saddle.

The slow sprint for the stage ended with this muidop. Congrats Johnny Rickets with your bottom step for the stage.

There were other notable failures from the bottom ten as well

A Slocking effort from Liam

Joshua wasn't so Tardy

And seeing as we missed a proper update yesterday, Hubba Hubba Artz capped an awful few days, dropping out of the bottom ten then all the way out of the bottom thirty. We hope he's not feeling too well.

And after all, here's your underall