Man gets stuck while having sex with a washing machine

[smokeysmoo]

And to think....


It all just started......


With a full load.

'tis usually the case

 

[Salad Dodger]

A former colleague of mine, a very religious Jehovah's Witness who happened to be the operating theatre manager where I worked, believed the following story told to her by the patient. See if YOU would have believed this.

A 35 year-old man presented with serious lacerations and bruising to his rectum. He described the injuries as having occurred when he was cleaning his windows. He was up a ladder doing the bedroom windows when the ladder slipped on the wet floor and off he fell. In trying to kick a broom leaning against the wall of the house out of the way, the broom handle went the wrong side of his trousers - the inside - and was forced up into his rectum.

Rectum? Well it sure didn't do 'em any good!

 

[ufkacbln]

A former colleague of mine, a very religious Jehovah's Witness who happened to be the operating theatre manager where I worked, believed the following story told to her by the patient. See if YOU would have believed this.

A 35 year-old man presented with serious lacerations and bruising to his rectum. He described the injuries as having occurred when he was cleaning his windows. He was up a ladder doing the bedroom windows when the ladder slipped on the wet floor and off he fell. In trying to kick a broom leaning against the wall of the house out of the way, the broom handle went the wrong side of his trousers - the inside - and was forced up into his rectum.

We had an unfortunate soul who was in a pub, and sat down on a chair... not realising someone had left a beer bottle on it!

Poor guy - the bottle had passed through his trousers and into his rectum.

 

[ufkacbln]

At least he came clean!

 

[ufkacbln]

The sad tale of Ragout the gerbil!

1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.

 

[Ron-da-Valli]

Did the machine spit his load out?

 

[Bobby Mhor]

I'm assuming it was EXTRA-VIRGIN Olive Oil they used to free him, non ?

 

[SteCenturion]

The sad tale of Ragout the gerbil!

PML

 

[Fnaar]

a pipe cleaner was inserted down the urethra of the gentleman. Alright, in medical terms, 'the Jap's eye', on one occasion, soaked in paraffin to allow easier passage but so completely destroyed the epithelial tissue, it was the last erection he'd ever see as his penis had to be amputated as a result.

Did he sing "Break It To Me Gently" by Urethra Franklin, to the doctor about to break the news of impending appendage up-endage?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

That's nowt, check out this beauty: http://www.timesnews.net/article/9066805/woman-hospitalized-to-remove-stolen-5-000-from-rectum

Not the Million Pound Drop then?

The sad tale of Ragout the gerbil!

Really, I haven't heard anything so utterly retarded all day. I'd have charged them with Animal Cruelty too!

 

[vernon]

Surely an entrant for the Darwin Award.

Nope. He survived. Furthermore his DNA sequence can be passed on through IVF.

 

[vernon]

Asia in the link.... All questions answered

Really?

it doesn't answer the question: What were the names of the survivors of the Titanic sinking?

 

[slowmotion]

Only those with the strongest constitution ( or exceptional curiosity) will Google " Chinese man inserts 20" eel into his bum".

I think he was charged with cruelty to animals, MDB.

 

[Aperitif]

Only those with the strongest constitution ( or exceptional curiosity) will Google " Chinese man inserts 20" eel into his bum".

I think that's called a 'Vera Lynn' - after that wartime ditty "Eel meet again..."

Why were you Googling that anyway, Martin? Maritime research; or other?

The bloke in the original post had a Hotpoint, And I tend to think that he was a bit of an Omo sexual.

 

[slowmotion]

Why were you Googling that anyway, Martin? Maritime research; or other?

Oh, most certainly not maritime research! The Asian swamp eel is a freshwater dweller. It must have been a shock to find himself in a human colon. No wonder he bolted!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monopterus_albus