Man gets stuck while having sex with a washing machine

[colly]

I'm not sure he was having sex with the machine. It was a top loader after all. I mean surely it would need to have been a bottom loader.

 

[SteCenturion]

Only those with the strongest constitution ( or exceptional curiosity) will Google " Chinese man inserts 20" eel into his bum".

I think he was charged with cruelty to animals, MDB.

I reckon he could've got off with that on a technicality.
FISH.

 

[slowmotion]

I reckon he could've got off with that on a technicality.
FISH.

I'm not so sure. In my distant youth, I shared a flat with some friends training to be lawyers. They came home with tales of quite bizarre legal cases. I think that throwing a live prawn onto a griddle was one of the animal cruelty ones.

 

[Yellow Fang]

Nope. He survived. Furthermore his DNA sequence can be passed on through IVF.

But his DNA could have been sequenced if he had died. The chap presumably wasn't married. Was he a multi-millionaire? No, otherwise he wouldn't be getting his thrills sticking pipe-cleaners down the old one-eyed-trouser-snake, but if he did he would go private, not the NHS. That being the case, what woman is going to agree to have his baby if they cannot even try to do it the old fashioned way? The man is a biological dead end.

 

[vernon]

But his DNA could have been sequenced if he had died.

You missed the point. He didn't die and he's still capable of fathering children so he's ineligible for the Darwin award.

 

[Yellow Fang]

You don't have to die to fail to reproduce. In Darwinian evolution, first you have to survive to adulthood, then you have to find a partner of the opposite sex to reproduce with. If as a man, you have somehow necessitated the amputation of your penis, that gravely diminishes your chances of accomplishing the second part of the equation.

 

[slowmotion]

Even with the "mechanism" missing, surely the "mail" can still be delivered somehow?

 

[Gravity Aided]

Prosthesis, hopefully not made of wood.

 

[ufkacbln]

Prosthesis, hopefully not made of wood.

Adds a whole new dimension to "Steel is real"

 

[Silver Fox]

Only those with the strongest constitution ( or exceptional curiosity) will Google " Chinese man inserts 20" eel into his bum".

I think he was charged with cruelty to animals, MDB.

Sounds like the sort of thing Kenneth Pinyan would get up to, if he was still around.

 

[vernon]

I reckon he could've got off with that on a technicality.
FISH.

I recall seeing in a copy of Moriaty's Police Law, an instance of a successful prosecution of a man who had sexually molested a halibut.

 

[SteCenturion]

I recall seeing in a copy of Moriaty's Police Law, an instance of a successful prosecution of a man who had sexually molested a halibut.

Cheap Skate ??

 

[vernon]

Cheap Skate ??

Shop soiled.

 

[Cubist]

I recall seeing in a copy of Moriaty's Police Law, an instance of a successful prosecution of a man who had sexually molested a halibut.

Sounds a bit fishy to me that one.

 

[Cubist]

My favourite quote from the Dustette article


"At least two of these injuries were caused by a Hoover Dustette,
which has fan blades about 15 cm from the inlet. The present
patients may well have thought that the penis would be clear of the fan
but were driven to new lengths by the novelty of the experience and
came to grief."