Which is the most thief-proof sort of bike? 1. Cheap old hack Rationale: thief wouldn't want it, would rather nick another, couldn't sell it for much. 2. Expensive bike Rationale: thief would not be able to get rid of it easily, would raise suspicion when trying to sell it. 3. Unusual bike Rationale: easier to track by the police, easier to spot by owner, draws attention to buyer of stolen goods. 4. Gay bike (as in opposite to kewl) Rationale: similar to unusual bike with added bonus that the thieving classes wouldn't be seen dead on it anyway. 5. Bike with inbuilt security measures Example: bikes with lockable forks, Dutch bikes with lockable wheels, bikes with unusual clip-in pedals, bikes with quick release wheels and seatpost, fixies.