On verge of leaving cycle club.

PaulSB

Legendary Member
It could be very useful. Do we know why he wants to join a club? A few years ago when I got heavily back into road biking I thought I might join a club. It kind of seemed like the done thing. I went on a few rides before I joined and I realised that it involved social interaction, strange rules and conventions, talking to strangers, basically all the things I use cycling to avoid. I get out on my bike to get away from people and give my brain some much needed space and freedom from neurotypical conformity. I don't want to hang around with a bunch of strangers that I know I'll never quite fit in with.

So Aspie dude might need to think about why he feels he wants to join in with the club to begin with. It might just not be for him. If he decides it is, fair enough but if he's doing it because of some misguided interpretation of an unspoken convention that that's what cyclists do these days, then he has to think about whether he really wants to and if he might not be happier out on his own.

This is of course quite separate from the issue of their behaviour towards him and the fact that they seem like a bunch of arses. They obviously have some sort of deficit in social and communications skills if that's the way they act.
Without entering in to the whole debate about the club as the parent of an individual with Down Syndrome may I point out the use of "Aspie" is offensive. What would you call my son "Downie?'
 
Really upset about an incident this morning. Theres a few non club members cycle alongside us quite often and a few even are in the club chat rooms.

One cyclist has aspergers and often joins in, i asked on club chat could i add him (out of politeness) so he could find out when cyclists are meeting etc, had no objections and even a reply saying no objection.

Tried to add him and found that my privilege for adding members had been removed, Then i posted asking that he be added and then the fun started had a few rude replies.

Know theres a few idiots in all walks of life but for a cycling club committee member and a few other actually go out of there way to stop another cyclist because he has a disability of any kind to me seems absolutely rotten and know when i next see the guys involved i will be having words.
Could you not forward him the details of the rides without going through the group thing? Is it practical for you and a few others to do an additional ride with him, separate to the main bunch?
 

winjim

✊🏻✊🏾 🌈 ♀️ 😷
I think whole point is, and i might be wrong, if that he doesn't particularly want to join that club, but appreciates being able to go out on a group ride with them, and being able to turn up and go (which the OP was considerately facilitating) would be appreciated by someone living with Aspergers, rather than having to go though, what might be quite difficult process of making "formal friendships" for want of a better word to find others to ride with, if and when he doesn't want to ride alone.
Yes, it does read as if he doesn't want actually to join.
 

winjim

✊🏻✊🏾 🌈 ♀️ 😷
Without entering in to the whole debate about the club as the parent of an individual with Down Syndrome may I point out the use of "Aspie" is offensive. What would you call my son "Downie?'
Any reference to Hans Asperger is pretty offensive TBF. I might refer to somebody using a particular term if I myself was a member of that group of people and knew that there was a not insignificant subset of that group who referred to themselves in that way.

Personally I dislike 'has Asperger's' and 'has autism' and prefer to use the term 'is autistic'.
 
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Milkfloat

An Peanut
Location
Midlands
It sounds like the first problem is that the club is not stringent on only allowing members in the private areas. If they consistently policed that and made ride details available on the public site then the problem should not exist for anybody. If I was a paying member and found out that some others were being treated differently then I would be a bit upset.
 

Eric Olthwaite

Insert witty self-deprecating description here
It seems to me unlikely the others targeted the guy because he has Asperger's.

But, as paying members, they might reasonably want to kick back at those availing themselves of club benefits without putting anything into the kitty.
In our club only paid up members are put on the group WhatsApp for this reason.

What I am not clear on is whether there are specific reasons related to his condition which would make joining the club unusually difficult for him. If there are, then I would hope that could be explained and the rule relaxed.
 

Pale Rider

Legendary Member
In our club only paid up members are put on the group WhatsApp for this reason.

What I am not clear on is whether there are specific reasons related to his condition which would make joining the club unusually difficult for him. If there are, then I would hope that could be explained and the rule relaxed.
Dr Google tells us those with Asperger's face difficulty with social interaction.

However, the OP says this guy 'often joins in' already, so that difficulty doesn't appear to be relevant.

Or if there were any joining in difficulties, he's already overcome them.
 
Without entering in to the whole debate about the club as the parent of an individual with Down Syndrome may I point out the use of "Aspie" is offensive. What would you call my son "Downie?'
Offensive to whom? You're not even commenting from the family of such a person! What ill intent is implied or inferred by this apparently horrendous 5-letter term.

The person I have had most discussions with about Aspergers cheerfully refers to herself - and others - as Aspy. These are just words; like you can call me Matty if you want x. Or bikey.


Jeez, this thread escalated quickly ...
 
What I'd do

- speak with the offender to understand reasons and try to make them understand how they could do things differently
- if the above fails, I'd bring the matter up to the whole club to make everyone aware of the situation
- last resort, if offender doesn't change their manners and club doesn't care, I'd leave the club and maybe start a new one.
 

Venod

Eh up
Location
Yorkshire
You don't need to be in a club.
You don't have to be in a club.
You are allowed to ride where you want, when you want, without having some committee decide if it is suitable.
Remember....committees are usually full of self important little men trying to make a name for themselves.
Ride with your mates, or ride alone. Perfectly legal.
Best of all you won't be obliged to buy and wear hideous and overpriced club gear.

Get out while the going is good.
I couldn't agree more, I have written about this elsewhere on the forum so won't repeat it all here, but basically the rules of BCF and the committee's strict adherence to them (without using common sense) resulted in the last club I was in losing lots of good members, who now still ride together on an informal basis and without the regimented clothing, a much better arrangement.
 
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