On verge of leaving cycle club.

[davidphilips]

Really upset about an incident this morning. Theres a few non club members cycle alongside us quite often and a few even are in the club chat rooms.

One cyclist has aspergers and often joins in, i asked on club chat could i add him (out of politeness) so he could find out when cyclists are meeting etc, had no objections and even a reply saying no objection.

Tried to add him and found that my privilege for adding members had been removed, Then i posted asking that he be added and then the fun started had a few rude replies.

Know theres a few idiots in all walks of life but for a cycling club committee member and a few other actually go out of there way to stop another cyclist because he has a disability of any kind to me seems absolutely rotten and know when i next see the guys involved i will be having words.

 

[byegad]

Sounds like the kind of club only a Twunt would want to belong to.

 

[I like Skol]

Is this an formal club with membership fees or similar?

If so then it is not unusual to resist 'freeloaders' who tag along and try to benefit from the club without without making any contribution to the organisation, either financially or otherwise. The given norm is that new or prospective members get to sample club activities and benefits for a reasonable limited period before they are either encouraged to sign up properly or move along.....
Seems fair to me if this is what is happening here. Is there any reason why your freind is unable to join the club formally?

EDIT: Having re-read the OP it seems there has been some unneccessary unpleasentness from other members and this obviously is not acceptable. The rules can usually be explained and adhered to without resorting to nastyness.

 

[matticus]

...actually go out of there way to stop another cyclist because he has a disability of any kind ...

Yes I agree. You're right to stand up for him.

I'd encourage you to try to make this a learning experience for everyone - don't treat it as a fight. Some people act badly to "differences" out of ignorance/discomfort, not because they are simply bad people. Some good could come of this!

EDIT: you might find that most members are not so unkind; but don't want to rock the boat by standing upto the loud/confident bully types.

 

[DCLane]

+1 to the above from @I like Skol if it's a formal club.

Should they then present issues I'd direct them to BC's disability guidelines and this: https://www.britishcycling.org.uk/coaching/article/coast_Level_2_Disability_workshop

 

[Darius_Jedburgh]

You don't need to be in a club.
You don't have to be in a club.
You are allowed to ride where you want, when you want, without having some committee decide if it is suitable.
Remember....committees are usually full of self important little men trying to make a name for themselves.
Ride with your mates, or ride alone. Perfectly legal.
Best of all you won't be obliged to buy and wear hideous and overpriced club gear.

Get out while the going is good.

 

[T4tomo]

You don't need to be in a club.
You don't have to be in a club.
You are allowed to ride where you want, when you want, without having some committee decide if it is suitable.
Remember....committees are usually full of self important little men trying to make a name for themselves.
Ride with your mates, or ride alone. Perfectly legal.
Best of all you won't be obliged to buy and wear hideous and overpriced club gear.

Get out while the going is good.

very helpful for the chap with aspergers... NOT!

 

[matticus]

We are a social species - it is natural to want to give and receive mutual support, be it in home life or sports/hobbies.
Many many good things come from sports/outdoors-activity clubs; that can include making "outsider" types feel a bit more valued. (as well as introducing some folks to amazing pasttimes they weren't aware of, or didn't think they could!)

You can find jerks in all circles of life - doesn't mean all people are jerks!

 

[Cycleops]

You get sort of thing in all types of clubs, not just cycling. The control freaks trying to assert themselves and all loads of other stuff. I used to belong to model flying club, two members had a disagreement and ended up spitting at each other on the field

As Groucho Marx once famously said ‘ I don’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member’.

Get out.

 

[davidphilips]

Sounds like the kind of club only a Twunt would want to belong to.

TBH have been a member for a few years now and up to now have never encountered what in my view is not acceptable in any walk of life and until today would offer nothing but praise for the club (one of the largest in north down) who only a few years ago even had tandems to keep cyclists that had sight problems keep cycling.

The club chairman is a really nice guy and think he will be my first port of call but know if this issue is not resolved even if %99 of club members are great i would not want to stay a member, I have a son who has autism and learning difficulties and could not stay part of a club that would look down on him or any one for what ever reason.

 

[winjim]

very helpful for the chap with aspergers... NOT!

It could be very useful. Do we know why he wants to join a club? A few years ago when I got heavily back into road biking I thought I might join a club. It kind of seemed like the done thing. I went on a few rides before I joined and I realised that it involved social interaction, strange rules and conventions, talking to strangers, basically all the things I use cycling to avoid. I get out on my bike to get away from people and give my brain some much needed space and freedom from neurotypical conformity. I don't want to hang around with a bunch of strangers that I know I'll never quite fit in with.

So Aspie dude might need to think about why he feels he wants to join in with the club to begin with. It might just not be for him. If he decides it is, fair enough but if he's doing it because of some misguided interpretation of an unspoken convention that that's what cyclists do these days, then he has to think about whether he really wants to and if he might not be happier out on his own.

This is of course quite separate from the issue of their behaviour towards him and the fact that they seem like a bunch of arses. They obviously have some sort of deficit in social and communications skills if that's the way they act.

 

[winjim]

We are a social species - it is natural to want to give and receive mutual support, be it in home life or sports/hobbies.

That is, if I may say, a bit of a neurotypical attitude.

 

[Arrowfoot]

Just enjoy the rides and help the club where you can. Any further and it can ruin your day. It's no different to most clubs where volunteers involved in management are there for years and acquired a sense of entitlement and importance. The saddest is to see parents grovelling to these chaps to help their juniors.

Don't leave the club as that's what they expect you would do and it becomes a victory. If you remain, they will be cautious and more respectful. No need to exchange any words with these dimwits.

 

[T4tomo]

It could be very useful. Do we know why he wants to join a club?

I think whole point is, and i might be wrong, if that he doesn't particularly want to join that club, but appreciates being able to go out on a group ride with them, and being able to turn up and go (which the OP was considerately facilitating) would be appreciated by someone living with Aspergers, rather than having to go though, what might be quite difficult process of making "formal friendships" for want of a better word to find others to ride with, if and when he doesn't want to ride alone.

 

[PaulSB]

It could be very useful. Do we know why he wants to join a club? A few years ago when I got heavily back into road biking I thought I might join a club. It kind of seemed like the done thing. I went on a few rides before I joined and I realised that it involved social interaction, strange rules and conventions, talking to strangers, basically all the things I use cycling to avoid. I get out on my bike to get away from people and give my brain some much needed space and freedom from neurotypical conformity. I don't want to hang around with a bunch of strangers that I know I'll never quite fit in with.

So Aspie dude might need to think about why he feels he wants to join in with the club to begin with. It might just not be for him. If he decides it is, fair enough but if he's doing it because of some misguided interpretation of an unspoken convention that that's what cyclists do these days, then he has to think about whether he really wants to and if he might not be happier out on his own.

This is of course quite separate from the issue of their behaviour towards him and the fact that they seem like a bunch of arses. They obviously have some sort of deficit in social and communications skills if that's the way they act.

Without entering in to the whole debate about the club as the parent of an individual with Down Syndrome may I point out the use of "Aspie" is offensive. What would you call my son "Downie?'