parents' evening

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Not if you want to ask questions or query what the teacher has said.

Can't you write, like?

 

[chriswoody]

We shifted to an eight hour, 12 - 8, one day format this year, with only 3, 20 minute breaks it was exhausting. Parents book a ten minute slot to see me in the weeks leading up to the evening, so by the actual evening I know who exactly I will be seeing. For the most part it is a little bit frustrating when the vast majority, are parents of the really good kids and only pop along to say hello!

It can be good though to show the kids work to the parents of the underachieving kids. You can explain why it's not an acceptable level of work and what can be done to improve. Sadly though, it often has little affect as the parents will nod and agree with you and then rarely make much effort into cajoling their kids into working harder and achieving their potential.

We also write reports at our place, I'm currently needing to write over a hundred of the blasted things and there is rarely the room to articulate all the issues, with examples and suggestions for improvement, so there definitely is a place for parents evenings as well. I just wish it was only parents who really needed to see me who would come. The fact is, that for the most part, it's only the parents of the motivated and hard working kids who show up, and that is telling in itself.

 

[keithmac]

I make time to go to my son and daughters, to be fair they're both doing really well so it's a pleasant experience!.

I think it's important for the parents to show interest, and to see where their children spend most of the day.

My two are proud as punch by the end and rightly so, they both work bloody hard at it!. Taking an hour or two now and again is no real sacrifice imho.

 

[Sandra6]

At my parents' school you had appointments with teachers but they were all in one place - or you'd have some in he main hall and some in the sports hall (but these were less than 50m apart).

This I can cope with, but in the current school some are in their department, some in the dining hall, some in the other hall, some in random rooms not shown on the map. Frustrating!

Isn't what is being discussed at those meetings what written school reports are for?

The "written" reports we get consist of one page of abbreviations - GL -good learner, PL-passive learner etc - and three pages explaining the system of abbreviations.

erm isn't part of parents evening not just for you as parents to take an interest in your child but also to show your child you take an interest in them?

But to be honest, yes, I really think most of them are a waste of time in terms of getting to be informed or what you get out of them.

I almost agree, but you are only showing the school your pretence of interest. My children know I am interested - but also that I loathe going to parents evenings.

@Julia9054 I can totally see the frustration from the other side of the coin too - as I've left it quite late, I probably wouldn't be able to see more than half the teachers anyway. I do appreciate an individual teacher taking the time to contact me too, if there is cause for concern then obviously I'll take the time to address it, but I don't really need to hear how lovely a child she is only to have to repeat the obligatory "she's not like that at home"

I am quite comfortable with not attending - and if pushed I will tell the school that I find their set up very stressful - but that's my issue not theirs. I would rather they didn't think of me as a "can't be bothered" type though.

 

[ChrisV]

They tend to overrun because parents like to talk about themselves.

 

[screenman]

It is a shame that something I have always found a joy seems to make others feel stressed, must not be easy that is for sure.

 

[Sandra6]

It is a shame that something I have always found a joy seems to make others feel stressed, must not be easy that is for sure.

I used to enjoy them, but after 18 years and 6 kids the joy has gone :-(

 

[screenman]

I used to enjoy them, but after 18 years and 6 kids the joy has gone :-(

I had 26 years of it but only 3 kids, so you certainly have had a good few more.

The bit that worries me is that people are stressed by it, something is wrong with the system if it does that.

 

[ColinJ]

The bit that worries me is that people are stressed by it, something is wrong with the system if it does that.

The bit that worries me is that something is VERY wrong with virtually every system ever created by mankind (education, health, industry, finance, religion and so on ...) but that people meander along as if everything is fine!

 

[Electric_Andy]

Their system is rubbish. I always had the same as you quoted and we booked an appointment on paper and then everyone was in the sports hall, it worked very well.

There are many children who, if unaccompanied would be told they need to improve x and y, then go home to mum and dad and say everything is fine. That's why you need to be there. Granted, some parents don't care but the school needs to do all they can. You'd be surprised as to how many parents don't give a damn.

So, up to you but I for one would prefer to hear the reports from the horses mouth even if it involves queuing for a bit. Just take some earphones or something!

 

[nickyboy]

The idea that parents don't attend because they think it's a waste of time, poorly run or whatever is a very strange one to me. I attend every one. If I only get one thing out of the evening that is of use to us as parents then I regard that as time well spent. Furthermore, having a child who believes that their parents are invested in the school and thus the kid's progress can only be a good thing. Any kid whose parents can't be bothered to attend can only come to the conclusion that the parents aren't interested in progress with the inevitable consequences

 

[Oxo]

The bit that worries me is that something is VERY wrong with virtually every system ever created by mankind (education, health, industry, finance, religion and so on ...) but that people meander along as if everything is fine!

What might be very wrong for you might well be very right for someone else.

"You can please some of the people all of the time,
You can please all of the people some of the time,
But you can't please all of the people all of the time". - John Lydgate

 

[subaqua]

They tend to overrun because parents like to talk about themselves.

yup, thats wifeys experience of it. she hates doing Parents evenings as more often than not the 10 minute slots extend by 3 or 4 mins despite best efforts to keep them to schedule. that stacks up .

on the flip side when we go to our kids parents evenings we know how to keep it to schedule for the teachers there.

 

[screenman]

Do not do what my parents did, that was go to my brothers and my sisters open evening but not mine, that stayed with me for many a year. I was the youngest by a good few years and this was one of many little things that played on my mind.

 

[Sandra6]

I had 26 years of it but only 3 kids, so you certainly have had a good few more.

The bit that worries me is that people are stressed by it, something is wrong with the system if it does that.

THe getting stressed by it is most certainly my issue - but I'm sure I'm not alone.
I don't deal well with being late, and I get quite annoyed when other people make me late, or I'm late because things are out of my control -which is what tends to happen. I don't like not knowing where I'm supposed to be either, and you can't plan for these things so the control freak in me gets a bit worked up.
Basically I rush home from work knowing I have to rush tea in order to be back out on time, then have to deal with either a 21/2 mile walk and a cold, complaining child or try to judge the bus times, which inevitably means standing in the cold at a bus stop for 15 minutes.
Then the appointments we have over run, or are delayed, or I can't actually run from one end of the building to the other in time to make the appointments. THen I get stressed and annoyed some more. Then it's late and we're tired and I'm hungry, becaue I didn't have time to eat the tea I made, and it can take an hour to get home again.
I'm sure it all goes far more smoothly for other people, but I get stressed by it.

The idea that parents don't attend because they think it's a waste of time, poorly run or whatever is a very strange one to me. I attend every one. If I only get one thing out of the evening that is of use to us as parents then I regard that as time well spent. Furthermore, having a child who believes that their parents are invested in the school and thus the kid's progress can only be a good thing. Any kid whose parents can't be bothered to attend can only come to the conclusion that the parents aren't interested in progress with the inevitable consequences

What if you didn't get even that one thing of use? Would it be a waste of time then?
My children understand my reluctance to go and are fully supported in other ways and know I am interested in their schooling so no need to worry about "inevitable consequences" whatever those may be.

Do not do what my parents did, that was go to my brothers and my sisters open evening but not mine, that stayed with me for many a year. I was the youngest by a good few years and this was one of many little things that played on my mind.

Maybe, like me, they realised after the first two it was a waste of time going ;-)