People really will steal anything.........

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Profpointy

Legendary Member
a mate of mine at uni left his fixie parked unlocked round the backnof his girlfriend's digs. Next morning it was gone. 100 yards down the road he found it in the hedge with the handlebars twisted round. Cornering on a toe-clipped fixie, purely speculating but maybe after a few pints is a tricky business
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
I used dog food & powdered exlax.

I think laxative may have been involved - in fact we might have overdone it as the concoction got so glòopy with the laxative poweder we had to add more (loosely speaking) food. I believe one of the miscreants went to the doctors after 4 days and was told he had gastro-enteritis.
 
The dummy phone was the one that got nicked, often in front of a crowd. The real one was somewhere safe.
Similar with the damaged handset. You took the dummy, damaged beyond repair, back to the shop, and got it replaced there. Now you've to send such phones off.
I don't believe this. I can't see any need for the charades as described. Most robberies of phones don't have witnesses, and if there are witnesses there might be a have-a-go-hero. Much better to go to a police station and say that someone stole if from you on a train, and you didn't notice it was missing until later.

And the dummy phones aren't really that convincing in your hand. Any person in a shop who held one would know it wasn't a working phone. There is not glass, so you won't have the crazed screen typical of a destroyed phone, and there will be no electronics showing. At the very minimum they'd try to power it off and on or remove the battery; it would obviously be a fake.

They are stolen by kids, the same ones who steal empty game or dvd covers from shops, assuming the item is inside.
 
The back gate. when we were in our first house we had a fortnights holiday and got back late Saturday night, on the Sunday morning I was having breakfast before returning the hire car, my Good Lady looked out the window turned and said the back gates gone, I didn't believe her until I looked myself. The thing was it wasn't even a proper gate, the gate was missing when we moved in and I'd cobbled together a temporary gate from scrap timber.

At least they didn't take a fence.:blush:



Someone I know had his teeth stolen in our local.

It's a bit rough and ready, and when he went to toilet, he dropped his false teeth in his pint to stop anyone nicking it. When he came back, the teeth had gone.
 

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
I rememeber the story of a local primary school who planted a whole load of new trees to commemorate something.

Next day, they were all gone :rolleyes:

Also the school who put out flags for a sports day, or a school that made....... You get the jist :rolleyes:

As my Mum used to say

'If it isn't nailed down then they will nick it'

And even then, people will nick the nails too.
 

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
Someone I know had his teeth stolen in our local.

It's a bit rough and ready, and when he went to toilet, he dropped his false teeth in his pint to stop anyone nicking it. When he came back, the teeth had gone.

It reminds me of the old joke:

A guy is drinking a pint but has to go to the toilet, so leaves the pint at the bar with a note saying

'I have spat in this'

When he gets back, there is another note saying

'So have I!'
 

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
I experienced this in the BBs years ago when I had a shirt nicked, but there is also the old one of in schools, nurseries and other clubs where someone, when changing, accidentally puts on someone else's clothes or shoes, and goes home none the wiser.

When they, or thier parents realise, they ask for theirs back.... Only to be met with stoney silence because what they had 'nicked' was either better, or more desireable :rolleyes:
 

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
I also had a monocular nicked once.... In a minibus full of people. The piece of sh*t must have sat there watching me as I looked for it and asked who had it.

I never did find out who it was and I wish I had made more of a fuss (I was only 14 and in a bus full of adults) but everyone in the bus KNEW what had happened!

I had my suspicions, but couldn't prove anything short of going absolutely apeshit and emptying their bag in front of everyone.
 

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
I also remember the story of when Hampdon (Scottish national football stadium) had their historic pitch redone as part of the stadium's refurbishment.

The SFA sold off pieces of the turf, and one or two pieces of it was bought by a guy who used to live locally to me.

Turns out, he had planted it in his garden, only to wake up the next day to see a hole in his lawn where it had been!!

Now who would have known other than someone close to him??


I don't know if he ever did get it resolved, but, stealing a piece of turf??
Get a f*****g life!!
 
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philk56

Guru
Location
WAy down under
A tent...whilst it was up! Many years ago on an inter-rail trip with a friend, at a campsite in Switzerland. It was in the evening, we had gone to the washrooms to do our washing up, walked back towards the tent but couldn't see it in the dark. Our first thought was that we had gone the wrong way but after much circling around we went back to the original spot. We then spotted our belongings on the ground but no tent. Whoever took it must have lifted it up, dumped everything out and run off. The campsite manager was distinctly uninterested and we ended up spending the night sleeping in the washroom. At least they hadn't taken our sleeping bags! We reported it to the local police but they said it was probably some local lads having a laugh. Tent was never seen again.
 

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
A tent...whilst it was up! Many years ago on an inter-rail trip with a friend, at a campsite in Switzerland. It was in the evening, we had gone to the washrooms to do our washing up, walked back towards the tent but couldn't see it in the dark. Our first thought was that we had gone the wrong way but after much circling around we went back to the original spot. We then spotted our belongings on the ground but no tent. Whoever took it must have lifted it up, dumped everything out and run off. The campsite manager was distinctly uninterested and we ended up spending the night sleeping in the washroom. At least they hadn't taken our sleeping bags! We reported it to the local police but they said it was probably some local lads having a laugh. Tent was never seen again.

That's the sort of thing that is the most annoying - They only nick a bit, but it the most useful bit! :gun:
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
A tent...whilst it was up! Many years ago on an inter-rail trip with a friend, at a campsite in Switzerland. It was in the evening, we had gone to the washrooms to do our washing up, walked back towards the tent but couldn't see it in the dark. Our first thought was that we had gone the wrong way but after much circling around we went back to the original spot. We then spotted our belongings on the ground but no tent. Whoever took it must have lifted it up, dumped everything out and run off. The campsite manager was distinctly uninterested and we ended up spending the night sleeping in the washroom. At least they hadn't taken our sleeping bags! We reported it to the local police but they said it was probably some local lads having a laugh. Tent was never seen again.


Read a story about camping near the pub in Glencoe some foul night when someone wandered in saying that some c$&@^ had nicked their tent. Various tut tutting about no decency even among climbera etc, and the pair mournfully abandoned their trip and drove off south. A while later some else wandered in - "there's a tent been washed down the river". The owners had long since gone home raining curses on the supposed thieves.
 

bozmandb9

Insert witty title here
Had a real old BSO with no brakes and stuck in one gear that I used for getting around the site at work. Often wonder what happened to the scumbag who nicked it when they tried to stop for the first time and realised the brakes didn't work. Always smile at the thought of the devine retribution as they probably picked themselves back up from wherever they landed.

This is a great idea. Simply cutting one's break cables when one parks up could ensure that all bike thieves get karma! ;-)
 
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