When Toshiba Boy has peanuts in a pub (which is often) he always puts one in his right ear 'in case I get peckish later'. Sadly this interferes with his balance, causing him quite frequently to bump into fellow patrons and, on more than one occasion, crash bodily across entire tables.
Swee'pea often plays bar-room pinball, bouncing from patron to patron and crashing through tables. This however has nothing to do with peanuts, and much more to do with the fact that swee'pea gets pished on half a shandy.
Unbeknown to his employers, AT is secretly working on a project that will make him super rich!
He plans to completely modernise Australia's infra-structure by developing a road and rail network all across Australia - underground.
The project will be self-financing because AT is certain he will find gold and opals in abundance and will cover all costs.
One problem remains: he has to buy enough alcohol to bribe the Aboriginal elders for their permission. This, in turn, leads to another problem: AT has never bought a round in his entire life!
Dayvo clearly has thought through the problems associated with my underground Oz network and I was willing to develop this idea further with him as Chief Racial Diversity Coordinator until I read that he has been secretly monitoring my entire life's imbibing practice at our local hostelry. He can smarm his own aborigines*!
Archie T knows all the creams one can get for all sorts of unpleasant dermatological conditions as he is chief tester at his chemist's shop round the corner.
26x25 was really quite ill after mistaking his tube of Athlete's Foot cream for an Energy Gel when packing his back pocket for a particularly arduous ride. The sympathetic howls of laughter from his fellow riders was a sound he'll never forget.
In actual fact the smell is because he hasn't taken his socks off for 17 months. It's now highly likely that the sock material has been partly absorbed by his body.
Give it another 2 years and TVC will be a half-man half Argyll wool-mix.
Kestevan became Miss Hartlepool 2006, winning a £100 B&Q voucher and two nights at one of Blackpool's more refined B&Bs. Then it was discovered that 'she' was in fact a he, and all hell broke loose.
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