Remember to change your clocks

[Fab Foodie]

That's your card marked FF, your passport will be refused next time you try to cross the Tamar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooops!

 

[Perfect Virgo]

I had a 55-hour Greyhound Bus journey 20 years ago from Toronto to Calgary in October! It was SOOO boring! Only a joint at cafe stops made things bearable!

One traveller was smoking in the toilet at the back of the bus; the driver stopped, and threw the man off the bus. It was the middle of the night and out in the middle of nowhere! And COLD.

A train journey, though, similar to Michael Palin's, would be an enjoyable experience!

Yeah, the distances here are incredible and the landscape certainly worthy of the Palin treatment. Chucking the smoker out in the cold might be some sort of offence these days!

 

[PaulB]

I expect you've got them ready for tomorrow already!

Wrong coin used in the toss-up; ball weighted in United's favour; Ferguson's manager's box area is bigger than Benitez'; United has better players than El-pool; United cheated cos their fans have better singers!

United has better players than Liverpool? Not in this world.

United have better singers than Liverpool? Not while I've got a hole in my arse.

And I KNEW it was going to be 2-0 and was so confident, I lashed a tenner on it and won £100!

Still, FIVE minutes "injury time"! There's no way on this planet there were five minutes but this time, the whisky-sodden diarhoea-d tramp had the extra time work against him for once!

I laughed my cock off!

Glory, Glory be, to Liverpool FC!

 

[ComedyPilot]

United has better players than Liverpool? Not in this world.

United have better singers than Liverpool? Not while I've got a hole in my arse.

And I KNEW it was going to be 2-0 and was so confident, I lashed a tenner on it and won £100!

Still, FIVE minutes "injury time"! There's no way on this planet there were five minutes but this time, the whisky-sodden diarhoea-d tramp had the extra time work against him for once!

I laughed my cock off!

Glory, Glory be, to Liverpool FC!

And now in English please?

 

[rich p]

United has better players than Liverpool? Not in this world.

United have better singers than Liverpool? Not while I've got a hole in my arse.

And I KNEW it was going to be 2-0 and was so confident, I lashed a tenner on it and won £100!

Still, FIVE minutes "injury time"! There's no way on this planet there were five minutes but this time, the whisky-sodden diarhoea-d tramp had the extra time work against him for once!

I laughed my cock off!

Glory, Glory be, to Liverpool FC!

As an independent observer I have to agree with your eloquent, nay poetic summary that your team certainly deserved to win.

 

[Archie_tect]

And now in English please?

Liverpool won... and I think Paul's pleased.