Social Faux Pas

[Fnaar]

Apparently I made one last night.
I mentioned the word 'lesbian', and someone who I don't know (but who was there at the social gathering) has just 'come out' as a lesbian. Now, I refuse to recognise this* as a faux pas**, but as I feel like being entertained, I'd like to know your biggest faux pas please.

*I've been getting a bit of grief about it this morning
**(I had no idea, didn't know the person, wasn't being derogatory to lesbians, and it seriously wouldn't bother me if someone was straight or gay)

 

[swee'pea99]

My wife got talking to a teacher at some drinkies thing and they discovered a mutual interest in badminton. She mentioned how one of her daughters used to be really into it, but at her new school, the guy who ran the badminton was apparently such a dork that etc. He said, 'Oh, I run a badminton group at school. What school does your daughter go to?' I think you can guess the finale...

 

[Arsen Gere]

Couple of years ago I was walking through the reception area of a multinational consultancy firm and there was a guy putting decorations on a tree. I was standing at the reception desk as the guy at the top of this tall ladder balanced to reach over to put a big silver star on top of a 15 ft tree.

I said to the receptionist "Is that a star up there or just a big fairy". She fell about laughing, the bloke on the ladder clung on absolutely killing himself. I did not think the joke was that funny myself just a bit of banter. On the way to the office the bloke I had to see said "You do know he's gay don't you.".

 

[accountantpete]

I once spoke with a guy who a) looked incredibly thick and b) was acutely self-aware of this.

He made some witty remark to which my innocent and well-meaning riposte was "you're not as thick as you look!"

 

[BSRU]

Apparently I made one last night.
I mentioned the word 'lesbian', and someone who I don't know (but who was there at the social gathering) has just 'come out' as a lesbian. Now, I refuse to recognise this* as a faux pas**, but as I feel like being entertained, I'd like to know your biggest faux pas please.

*I've been getting a bit of grief about it this morning
**(I had no idea, didn't know the person, wasn't being derogatory to lesbians, and it seriously wouldn't bother me if someone was straight or gay)

Maybe you should point out that the residents of the Greek island of Lesbos are the only real lesbians.

 

[Peteaud]

A few years ago the wife and I went to a party and was introduced to uncle Ronald, and his partner, Ronald, by our Dutch host.

We fell about laughing as harry enfield the dutch copper came to mind, with his "partner and happy to say lover, Ronald". (in a dutch accent)


Only thing was it wasnt a joke and Ronald and Ronald didnt speak to us all evening.
,

 

[Saluki]

While travelling with a car load of people I happened to mention a lady we knew and said something like "Oh the bearded lady, as our Ian calls her, no idea why though" and there was a horrible silence. Apparently the lady really did have a beard although I had only ever seen her after she had used veet or similar. Also one of our fellow travellers used to have a huge facial hair problem and had had electrolysis to sort it out (again I had no idea) She was not miffed at all at my comment though. My ex was furious and blew it up to be a big deal, which until he kicked off, it hadn't been.

To be fair, I genuinely thought that the 'bearded lady' nickname from Ian was because we did a lot of filming and sometimes us women had to be men. I have had a false beard or make-up stubble often and had no idea that I was putting my foot in it big time.

 

[thom]

Not mine but quite amusing. One of my ex-bosses had been a post-doc physics researcher who ended up in the US giving a talk on one of his papers. Post talk, he was introduced to the distinguished guest who happened to be visiting the dept and had listened to the talk, none other than Prof Stephen Hawking, at which point he went to greet him, reaching out to shake his hand...

 

[Doseone]

I was in Rome and blocked the Malaysian Ambassador to Italy's bedroom en-suite toilet with diarrhoea. He had to get "a man" in to sort it.

 

[ColinJ]

So, I was out drinking with some friends and a pal of theirs who had come over from Belgium. Something had been on my mind all evening, but it took 5 or 6 pints for it to finally come to the surface. I put on a silly Michael Palin voice and started to recite the Monty Python 'Prejudice' sketch. My friends looked aghast and tried to stop me, but I broke free and continued.

"Think of a derogatory term for the Belgians!" ...

Have you ever tried to say sorry to an angry, drunken Belgian?

 

[Globalti]

I have a colleague who actually resembles Pug from Bash Street Kids:

He became a Daddy a few years ago and recently I was admiring his screen saver of his nice looking son, when I came out with my usual quip that comes out when children are being admired: "Cor! Where did he get his good looks from? Not his dad!"

My colleage went very red and asked: "What do you mean?" in an angry voice.

Ooops.

 

[CopperCyclist]

Anyone else been distracted through the entire thread wondering exactly what Fnaar actually said?

 

[biggs682]

best way is to smile and wave and dont open your mouth other than to eat and drink

 

[Fnaar]

Anyone else been distracted through the entire thread wondering exactly what Fnaar actually said?

It was in answer to a Christmas quiz ; what is ( famous person) famous for? I quipped "being the first male lesbian"

 

[postman]

I once spoke with a guy who a) looked incredibly thick and b) was acutely self-aware of this.

He made some witty remark to which my innocent and well-meaning riposte was "you're not as thick as you look!"

When did you meet David Beckham then ?