Stress has caught up with me.

[Vantage]

Long story short, but the last job I had stressed me out so much that depression took over and one night after coming home I couldn't face going back in the next day. The letter I sent to my employer advising them I would be on sick leave was dated 2 March 2006 and I haven't been back to work since.
The evening I got home, I overdosed on insulin and tried to take "the easy way out". There was nothing easy about it.
The depression grew worse and eventually it cost me my marriage, children and home and I now see my children at the weekends and holidays. It took a lot of court time to sort that out.
Anxiety attacks popped up from all that and the doc said I had a 'coping disorder' in that if something goes wrong, I simply can't cope with it and hide away. Other medical conditions have since sprang up, some physical, some mental (no I'm not mental :P) and now I get to waste away on sick benefits for the foreseeable future. The very idea of returning to work literally scares me to death.
What is the point I'm trying to make?
Don't leave it too late! If your employers can't get it into their thick skulls that the job is making you ill, LEAVE! Get another job. Jobs come and go. Your health is permanent.

 

[Kajjal]

Jannie has told me this so many times. My problem in this respect is that I have pride in my work ethic and have battled and battled, not to let it get on top of me. Just letting it slide would have proved to be just as difficult for me.

I am now changing my view on that.

I know exactly what you mean and it takes a while to adjust. I went from jobs where hard work got the job done well to those where even working very long hours would still not get everything thing done. It is a big change.

 

[Arrowfoot]

@steveindenmark, based on your contributions in this forum, I would have rated you as one of the least likely person to get into this situation. Thanks for sharing and giving us the context in good detail. It is a clear indication that it can hit any of us. Wish you a speedy recovery. And hoping the management wises up.

 

[byegad]

Been there, got the T-shirt.

1. Take all of the time you need.
2. Changing jobs, even at the cost of much lower wages, saved me in the end.
3. Life is full of selfish twerps who will happily see you ill if it suits them. Don't play their game.
4. Get out and about on your bike or on foot. I found Bird Watching was restful and energising, seek your own route to good mental health, but take your time finding it.
5. Finally, seek all of the help you local health services can give. I had months of therapy that made me see life a different way. Ultimately that helped me more than anything else. It's a wonderful world and seeing that is the key to recovery.

 

[srw]

It's worth pointing out that bosses can also feel stress. If you feel that things are running away from under you - for instance if you lose key members of staff or if some people in your team are significantly underperforming - one natural reaction is to try and do their jobs as well as your own. Which is a recipe for disaster.

 

[cyberknight]

GWS and make sure you stand your ground when and if you decide to go back to them, they have been taking advantage of you because your pride in your work has let them .
I had a similar experience over 20 years ago when i was running a gym and the owner was laid up with a bad back, i was working 15 hour days , day in day out and in the end i handed my notice in .The owner decided to take me to court as he reckoned i had been pocketing , nowt came of it obviously and the place closed down a while later .I had the same attitude and misplaced loyalty for the place and the owner and they took advantage of it .

Have you opted out of the EU working time directive ?
They have to make you sign a form if you want to average more than 48 hours a week , otherwise they are in breach of law and they cant force you to sign one.

 

[Tail End Charlie]

Nothing to add to what's been said, but best wishes in any case.

 

[steveindenmark]

Thanks for all your input. A week has gone by and my mind is beginning to settle and take Stock.

Jannie and I have booked a Farmhouse B&B for the weekend and the weather looks good.

The really odd thing about all of this is that I can afford not to go to work. My pension from the UK covers all my outgoings. What I earn is pocket money. My pride is causing most of my problems. The problem I can see coming now is that when I go back to work, as soon as they try taking advantage, I will tell them to stuff it.

At least if I come out of work, it is the right time of year as its starting to warm up.

 

[Spinney]

Glad to read this on another thread...
Keep

25th February

Denmark..57km...+7 degrees...thats 12 degrees warmer than my January ride

3 points

 

[srw]

Thanks for all your input. A week has gone by and my mind is beginning to settle and take Stock.

Jannie and I have booked a Farmhouse B&B for the weekend and the weather looks good.

The really odd thing about all of this is that I can afford not to go to work. My pension from the UK covers all my outgoings. What I earn is pocket money. My pride is causing most of my problems. The problem I can see coming now is that when I go back to work, as soon as they try taking advantage, I will tell them to stuff it.

At least if I come out of work, it is the right time of year as its starting to warm up.

Given what you do you could probably make a success of it, or something like it, on a part-time self-employed basis.

There used to be someone in Cornwall who made bespoke bags for carrying and packing bikes - I can't find evidence online that a similar business exists any more.

 

[steve50]

Ever considered a change in career @steveindenmark , as you say , you don't need to go to work or more to the point , you don't need to go to that stressful environment that is ruining your health. Perhaps get yourself an ice cream cart or hot dog stand (or job of your choosing) and work your own hours at your own pace, do something you enjoy, turn a hobby into an income, I did and i love "working".

 

[steveindenmark]

Steve. My life has been a change of careers. I have been in sail making for 13 years. I am 58 in May and my Danish is not that good.

Changing careers is a bit difficult but a change of lifestyle could be on the cards.

 

[Scoosh]

Do you think you are in a sufficiently strong position (both needed-at-work and 'in yourself') to be able to tell the managers at work how much time and work you can/are prepared to give them and more or less say "Take it [my offer to work for you on these terms] or I will leave it [your employment" ? You could perhaps email them an update on your progress and include this.

Very tough to do and would require a lot of mental strength but it might bring them to the negotiating table with a little more respect for you and your efforts for them over the years. If they are pragmatic, they might see it as better to have you and your experience for some hours each week than waste all your skill, knowledge and experience.
Either way - that is for a couple of weeks' time, so for now - 'on yer bike, mate'

 

[Racing roadkill]

Get out of the job that's causing you the issue. In my experience, nothing will improve, it's an ingrained culture in some work environments. It sounds like a brave leap of faith, but just do it. Quit, give it a couple of weeks, then look for a new job.

 

[Inertia]

Sorry to hear you are suffering from Stress Steve, Ive not suffered from stress like that so can only wish you well. All I can think is dont rush to do anything, take this time to relax and see how you feel.