Taking the tank to Tesco's

[Drago]

Im more worried that the Challenger is knocking on a bit and the UK are fannying about with the replacement. No doubt it be late, under performing, and steam powered or somesuch.

A good chum of mine works for a military equipment manufacturer and repairs armoured vehicles for a living. Hes good source of time expired, but still perfectly useable, Sikaflex.

 

[winjim]

It's not a tank, it's a CVRT combat vehicle reconnaissance, tracked. You need a track licence to drive one, but he should have someone it the turret to guide him, as you can't see all round.

As for track damage, the ground pressure is lower than most cars, there are rubber pads on the track so shouldn't do much damage. The sticky out bits at the edge can chow up kerb stones though.

Except its not a tank. It's a Scimitar Combat Reconnaissance Vehicle. It's a disgrace that local journos are not ttained on armoured vehicle recognition.

These stories crop up from time to time and it's never an actual tank.

 

[Randomnerd]

Any ideas on its NCAP rating?

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Except its not a tank. It's a Scimitar Combat Reconnaissance Vehicle. It's a disgrace that local journos are not ttained on armoured vehicle recognition.

If it's green, it's a tank.
If it's a rifle, it's a Kalashnikov.

 

[CanucksTraveller]

The sticky out bits at the edge can chow up kerb stones though.

Yeah! The kerbs in and around Bordon in Hants always had jaggedy / nibbled edges when I lived nearby, given that the garrison had a training school for the REME F434 drivers. I suppose REME must have had an arrangement with a very understanding council!

 

[winjim]

If it's green, it's a tank.
If it's a rifle, it's a Kalashnikov.

To be fair, it's like gun nuts bleating that 'AR-15' doesn't mean 'assault rifle'. To all intents and purposes, given that we're not talking about an actual combat situation, it's a flippin' tank.

 

[Drago]

If it's a rifle, it's a Kalashnikov.

It could be a flamethrower of a MIRV, the Mail will still describe it as an AR15 "assault rifle" (the AR is an SLR, for civilian and police use, not an assault rifle).

The Mail readership don't like being corrected on it either. A few weeks back they were prattling on about how AR15s should be banned in the US, and they got jolly upset when i pointed out that the weapon in the story was a) a Sig MCX, and not an AR, and b) it was an illegal, full auto weaponm so was already banned. Hell, it passes the time.

Anyway, we should encourage greater military equipment awareness among jounalists.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

the AR is an SLR,

Don't you take the name of god's own rifle in vain!

 

[Arrowfoot]

Please don't tell me they park it in the disabled bay when they get there!

It does make sense, doesn't it. He clearly falls within the disabled classification for driving a tank to Tesco.

 

[Randomnerd]

It could be a flamethrower of a MIRV, the Mail will still describe it as an AR15 "assault rifle" (the AR is an SLR, for civilian and police use, not an assault rifle).

The Mail readership don't like being corrected on it either. A few weeks back they were prattling on about how AR15s should be banned in the US, and they got jolly upset when i pointed out that the weapon in the story was a) a Sig MCX, and not an AR, and b) it was an illegal, full auto weaponm so was already banned. Hell, it passes the time.

Anyway, we should encourage greater military equipment awareness among jounalists.

We should be encouraging more talk about guns? Great idea. Bring back conscription. They don’t know they’re born. Get a big tank. Drive a massive car. Tote a big gun around. Let’s talk guns and weapons and tell everyone more about bullets. Everyone get all tooled up. Cans under the stairs. Bunkers in the dahlias, full of bog roll and hazmat suits for the grandkids.

Cos other nations are looking mighty fine now they gone done that? Woo-hoo!

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

We should be encouraging more talk about guns? Great idea. Bring back conscription. They don’t know they’re born. Get a big tank. Drive a massive car. Tote a big gun around. Let’s talk guns and weapons and tell everyone more about bullets. Everyone get all tooled up. Cans under the stairs. Bunkers in the dahlias, full of bog roll and hazmat suits for the grandkids.

Cos other nations are looking mighty fine now they gone done that? Woo-hoo!

To be fair, none of those are guns.

This is a gun

 

[Drago]

Any ideas on its NCAP rating?

I suspect it might be better than a Dacia Sandero, although wet egg cartons also score highter than the Dacia.

We should be encouraging more talk about guns? Great idea. Bring back conscription. They don’t know they’re born. Get a big tank. Drive a massive car. Tote a big gun around. Let’s talk guns and weapons and tell everyone more about bullets. Everyone get all tooled up. Cans under the stairs. Bunkers in the dahlias, full of bog roll and hazmat suits for the grandkids.

Cos other nations are looking mighty fine now they gone done that? Woo-hoo!

Im a gun owner (Beretta Silver Pigeon sporter 30" 12 bore with stainless finish, and more air weapons than I can recall) and ive never shot anyone. At least im fairly certain I haven't - was in an engagement in South Armargh and I stitched a hedgerow with a full mag during that one, but no bodies were found.

 

[Cycleops]

That's not a tank! Tanks don't have headlights. I bet it has a heater, and a holder for your coffee cup.

Yeahbut it has a gun. That's a tank in my book

 

[CanucksTraveller]

Just found yourself as Defence Correspondent at the Daily Mail? Worried you don't know the first thing about all that confusing jargon? Don't worry, it's not remotely confusing once you do away with pesky facts... here's your cheat sheet guide to Daily Mail military recognition!

• Old aeroplane, propellor driven: Spitfire
• Grey aeroplane, jet driven: Tornado jet
• Same aircraft but painted black: Stealth plane
• Tracked military vehicle: Tank
• Wheeled military vehicle: Jeep
• Protected / hardened facility: Nuclear bunker
• Same facility, but you had to ask for directions: Secret nuclear bunker
• Pistol: Gun
• Sniper rifle: Gun
• Anti materiel rifle: Gun
• Any firearm with automatic fire: Machine gun
• Grey boat: Battleship
• Grey boat you can land a helicopter on: Aircraft carrier
• Green helicopter: Army chopper
• Same helicopter painted black: Stealth chopper
• Helicopter with two spinning bits: Chinook
• Army soldier: Squaddie
• Army surgeon: Squaddie
• RAF air traffic controller: Squaddie
• Royal Navy pilot: Squaddie

Easy, now off to the pub to write your next piece about the upcoming defence review. Triples all round!