tdr1nka said:
Go on Arch, lets have the B-I-L diatribe! Let rip Petal!
Got to fettle as I have a 50 miler to Gravesend with dj & Radius tomorrow night!
Well, you asked...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I'm aware that some of this might just me not being used to a lot of company, and we're all different and stuff, and it's not my place to say, but...
Tuesday, he's going out with mates after dinner. Fine. Me and sis clear up the plates, wash up, and watch Holby City with a glass of wine. Wednesday, we're going out to the pub quiz after tea, and as we are just going out he whines about us not taking our dinner trays out to the kitchen - sis says he can do it. We get home, he hasn't even taken the stuff to the kitchen, let alone wash up, but has gone off to bed. Thursday he comes home in a strop for some reason, barely speaks to me, and goes out to see another mate (this was already arranged), and sis says he's been in a foul mood with her all week. And he's decided (or she may have suggested, I don't know), that he'll take Oli out for the day on Friday. Which upset me a bit, because I only see him every couple of months, and missing out on half a day of that is a big chunk. (I'm also slightly jealous that they went to a local steam railway, I'd have loved to go along on that with Oli, who is very into 'choo choos' just now.) At least by Friday evening he's not in such a bad mood. He goes through a kitchen drawer to clear some stuff out, and then makes my sis justify keeping the stuff he's decided he doesn't want (some measuring spoons, a meat baster - stuff that you don't use everyday, but is really handy when you need it). Oh, and decides he really did want the mixing bowl we'd taken to Age Concern after the last clear out. (too late, they'd sold it, ha!) Saturday, before my train, we go out, and Oli's having a bit of a dummy dependency moment on the way back (sis is trying to get him off it, and forgot to take one out) and B-i-l decides to offer his keys as distraction. I'm pushing the pushchair, and instead of just saying "hang on a minute", he just grabs the side of the pushchair to stop me. Incidentally, just as we're crossing a side street, which I reckon isn't a great place to stop. Keys are no good (we knew they woudn't be) so off we go, for a second, then he grabs the pushchair again to offer his phone. It was just the fact that he couldn't say "stop a minute", nicely. Not a great example. Sis gave him an earful and after a sulk, it seemed to blow over.
Written down, it probably seems a bit petty, but I do find him a bit overbearing and rude - I guess we just don't gel, and never will. But all the little things add up. Like, we watched telly, and at the end of the evening he went off to the kitchen (I thought to wash up) and left the telly on the Sky menu. Flicking through, I found the last half of the Xmas Dr Who and settled down to watch. He comes back in (having only gone to fetch some yoghurt), says "we've seen this" and changes the channel (to watch a recording of the thing sis and I already saw), even though sis says she wants to go to bed soon, so we won't see the whole episode. It's a tiny little thing, and I had seen that Dr Who before anyway, but there was no interest in what I might have preferred (I'd sat through the bloody Apprentice already). That's how it is - his idea is always the best (until he changes his mind, and then that's the best idea)
I don't feel great about this, I'm probably a bit jealous because I see Oli fairly infrequently, and I think the B-i-l gets away with being a bit of an arse a lot of the time, but hey, my sister seems happy, and we're all different. But really, sometimes I got the feeling that the more mature man of the house was the one in the highchair. I don't want to say he spolit the whole week for me, because he didn't, I had enough time alone with sis and Oli to have a great time, but by the end of the week, I felt quite... unwelcome.
<and breathe>
Any tea on the go, I could do with a cup
