Teeny tiny things that drive you nuts out of all proportion

[Nihal]

What have I done now?

Nothing

 

[Cubist]

My health visitor came for first visit, looked at my lovely tiny twins, (boy and girl) and asked, "are they identical?"
Eh? my faith in her evaporated straight away.

Happened to me in a supermarket. Twins are in the trolley one dressed in trousers and one dressed in a little frock. I'm pushing the trolley and have learnt that they are an absolute magnet for little old ladies. I'm also knackered from shiftwork/childcare, but the twins are enjoying a bag of grapes as a pacifier, so all is well.
Little Old Lady "Ohh aren't they sweet."
Me "Yes, I think so, but then I'm their Dad, I'm supposed to."
Little Old Lady "Are they twins?"
ME "Yes they are."
Little Old Lady "Boy and girl?"
Me, "Indeed they are."
Little Old Lady "What are their names?"
Me "Cubester and Cubette."
Little Old Lady "Lovely. Are they identical?"
Me "No, Cubester has a penis."

which earned me a bit of a telling off from Mrs Cube

 

[Saluki]

Even if it's Rod...

View attachment 22181

View attachment 22182

He was so young then

 

[Leaway2]

Cubester and Cubette

 

[swee'pea99]

Another I'd forgotten about until earlier is 'Tabloid Speak'. A few get me, such as any young kid being called a 'tot', a dog being a 'pooch' or anyone who is remotely fit being a 'fitness fanatic' (wtf?), but there is one above all else that gets me, and it really is out of proportion, as per the thread title. It is the use of the word 'Chief':

You remind me of this letter to The Times, from a few years back...

Sir,
Some years back I dated an American who was a graduate student at the Sorbonne. When in France, he would try to improve his conversation skills by attending American movies with French subtitles.

One, a Western, featured a cavalry officer and his men charging up a hill where the Indians and their chief waited silently. The officer greeted the chief who raised his hand and said: "How!" This was translated in the subtitles as "Enchanté".

 

[stu9000]

People (my students) who ask a question but don't listen to the answer. People who park in the wide parent bay with no kids and no kids seats in the car. The entire European Union (political administration, not member states)

 

[stu9000]

Happened to me in a supermarket. Twins are in the trolley one dressed in trousers and one dressed in a little frock. I'm pushing the trolley and have learnt that they are an absolute magnet for little old ladies. I'm also knackered from shiftwork/childcare, but the twins are enjoying a bag of grapes as a pacifier, so all is well.
Little Old Lady "Ohh aren't they sweet."
Me "Yes, I think so, but then I'm their Dad, I'm supposed to."
Little Old Lady "Are they twins?"
ME "Yes they are."
Little Old Lady "Boy and girl?"
Me, "Indeed they are."
Little Old Lady "What are their names?"
Me "Cubester and Cubette."
Little Old Lady "Lovely. Are they identical?"
Me "No, Cubester has a penis."

which earned me a bit of a telling off from Mrs Cube

BRILLIANT

 

[swee'pea99]

The entire European Union

The EU is 'a teeny tiny thing'?

 

[glasgowcyclist]

How 'bout if they're over 50 and they say it 'ironically'? Is that ok?

No.
Never.

GC

 

[glasgowcyclist]

People.

GC

 

[MontyVeda]

Even if it's Rod...

especially if it's Rod!

 

[swee'pea99]

[QUOTE 2417838, member: 259"]People who write one word sentences.[/quote]
Why?

 

[subaqua]

People (my students) who ask a question but don't listen to the answer. People who park in the wide parent bay with no kids and no kids seats in the car. The entire European Union (political administration, not member states)

the first car baby carrier both our kids went in removed from the car with the baby still in it.

 

[Leaway2]

[QUOTE 2417838, member: 259"]People who write one word sentences.[/quote]
So?

 

[Venod]

People who say absolutely when yes is what they mean.