The Meaning of Cycling Liff


Inspired by the Douglas Adams dictionary of place names and meanings, I came up with a few cycling-related definitions - I'm sure there must be more out there if anyone wants to help....

Durness - the feeling when cycling up a steep hill of trying to change to an easier gear, but finding that there isn't one.

West Kilbride, doing the - the technique of angling a water bottle to the side of the face while drinking on the move.

Kettering - the sound a stick makes when held by a small child against the moving spokes of an upturned bicycle.

Chaddesley Corbett - a benign, pain-free lump caused by saddle friction (as opposed to a saddle sore or Ruislip).

Malvern Link - the part of the chain that snaps when riding hard uphill.

Inkberrow - an oil or grease mark unintentionally left on non-cycling clothing after performing a maintenance task.

Middle Littleton - a cyclist who manages to stay in the pack unnoticed without taking a turn on the front or being dropped off the back.

Spratton - the spray on a cyclist's face caused by the cyclist in front not using a rear mudguard.

Shrawley (adj) - the state of a man's genitals after cycling all day in the cold, wind and rain.


Tim Lewis
Knockholt - pre bonk hunger.
Liff - when a gentle rise on the western outskirts of Dundee turns out to be brutal when riding up it with a much faster group, who all ride effortlessly while you struggle along before being ejected out the back only to see them all disappear off into the distance. (This happened to me in Liff, hence it supersedes Mr. Adams' definition)

Lagg - the delay between telling your legs to tackle a 20% climb after a cake stop at the bottom of a very steep valley and your pedals turning

Kilmarnock - the sinking feeling during a ride when you're tired and hungry, you have to dodge the locals and no matter which route you choose there's a long boring grind of a climb between you and your destination.

Skipton - choosing to cut a large loop out of your 100 mile ride because riding in the Yorkshire Dales is hard enough as it is

Achnasheen - reflected light from sweat pooled on the top tube during a certain hilly sportive

Bettyhill - riding into a headwind in the wilderness of Sutherland for so long that you start to hallucinate Golden Girls episodes

Camps - when on tour abroad, following roadsigns, confident that you know where you're going, only to discover on arrival that you didn't. Named after a tiny hamlet in Catalonia called Camps at the top of a big hill (that is not a campsite)
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Fun sponge
DE4, Derbyshire
Knockholt - pre bonk hunger.
Bonk related...
Long Eaton - ran out of cake a while back
Little Eaton - the cake was not good
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