byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Well, I'm plucked!
the recovery
- Thread starter markg0vbr
- Start date
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n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Tester wanted ,
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Pluck the SBGG of his chestical mat. without the filling of all that fur he will be revealed as a 9 stone weakling who gets sand kicked in his face by followers of Mr Atlas.
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Tha ' may have reason,
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
That's HIM the SBGG and he's on an upright! Is this a sign of a RECOVERY?
OP
OP
markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
I have switched over to my winter medication, it is the same as the Same but I put on woollen gloves to take the pils so it takes a lot longer to get them out of the packing.
I have been contemplating booking the holiday to palsprings us of a u alllll yeeeeeeea ha!
Then I got the final total of the cast £1254 + travel down south, they just said it! No easing up to it or hinting or anything. After a long pause I informed them I was not taking twelve people it would be just me and my essential medical equipment* apparently this was just for me to go...... And it is b&b.
I need to get a good sunny holiday as I have had the imaginary twinges as "the metal is inside your leg the weather can't make any difference to it" apparently , so it must all be in my head, gosh there is a lot in there.
So if any one is sending over a disaster relief parcel to the poor people of Hollywood or hurricane hit Florida, a bit of extra brown paper and string and I could hitch a ride.
*lard, bananas, wheel chair two crutches, some lovely drugs that your brain and a old army blanket.
I have been contemplating booking the holiday to palsprings us of a u alllll yeeeeeeea ha!
Then I got the final total of the cast £1254 + travel down south, they just said it! No easing up to it or hinting or anything. After a long pause I informed them I was not taking twelve people it would be just me and my essential medical equipment* apparently this was just for me to go...... And it is b&b.
I need to get a good sunny holiday as I have had the imaginary twinges as "the metal is inside your leg the weather can't make any difference to it" apparently , so it must all be in my head, gosh there is a lot in there.
So if any one is sending over a disaster relief parcel to the poor people of Hollywood or hurricane hit Florida, a bit of extra brown paper and string and I could hitch a ride.
*lard, bananas, wheel chair two crutches, some lovely drugs that your brain and a old army blanket.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Yet again an offer it is hard to refuse. For just £627 ish we can send the SBGG to America and bring down the Rebel Colonials and bring them back into the Empire!
Given Dave Cs recent problems with the USA maybe we can get the government to cough up. It'd be cheaper than sending 4500 men over to burn the White House, again! And cause more mayhem.
Given Dave Cs recent problems with the USA maybe we can get the government to cough up. It'd be cheaper than sending 4500 men over to burn the White House, again! And cause more mayhem.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Apparently Dave C has upset the Left-ponders so much they have refused a Visa for the SBGG! Something to do with only humans can apply and, even then,not from countries who refuse to yap when their master calls on them to attack other countries.
All is not lost, as we can apply for an Animal Import Licence Incoming Non-human Genus.
(Known as an AILING.) As the SBGG has been visibly AILING for years I'm hopeful that with the right shots, certificates and muzzle we can get him over their as Air Freight for £500, or by sea, in a sealed container, certified as airtight for only £250.
As Dave is now desperate to get his own back on Obama, he is more than willing to supply the container, shots and fare for the sea voyage, on the solemn promise that he is willing to travel by sea. Can I suggest we post him as many bananas and as much lard as we can? It will give him the delusion that he will survive the voyage and if we nearly fill the container there's a chance he could die for lack of air before arrival.
Send to the SBGG C.O.D. to:-
Sun Bronzed Greek God,
Dunlurking,
Abattoir Back Lane,
Rawmarsh,
Rotherham,
The Peoples Republic of the West Riding,
God's Own County of Yorkshire
England
S62 5FA
All is not lost, as we can apply for an Animal Import Licence Incoming Non-human Genus.
(Known as an AILING.) As the SBGG has been visibly AILING for years I'm hopeful that with the right shots, certificates and muzzle we can get him over their as Air Freight for £500, or by sea, in a sealed container, certified as airtight for only £250.
As Dave is now desperate to get his own back on Obama, he is more than willing to supply the container, shots and fare for the sea voyage, on the solemn promise that he is willing to travel by sea. Can I suggest we post him as many bananas and as much lard as we can? It will give him the delusion that he will survive the voyage and if we nearly fill the container there's a chance he could die for lack of air before arrival.
Send to the SBGG C.O.D. to:-
Sun Bronzed Greek God,
Dunlurking,
Abattoir Back Lane,
Rawmarsh,
Rotherham,
The Peoples Republic of the West Riding,
God's Own County of Yorkshire
England
S62 5FA
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Cheaper just to Gaffer tape the limbs together, insert the crutch to stabilise and fire off towards the east in a large cannon. If it landed in France it wouldn't be a bad thing.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
I quite the French. But fire him at Belgium and you are on.
OP
OP
markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
I am fancying Miami, I can use my grand dads demob suite with the sleeves being short as I am 5'11 on on side and 5' 1/4" on tuther and gran dad was 5'2" an I don't wear socks I will be all trendy like that new police program we just got on the televisual entertainment device, via redefusion distribution in conjunction with Yorkshire tv.
Bein ded posh like, I have three channels, I have bbc1 on a ferguson pieinear bbc2 on a Philips it still has the red and blue gun working so is a step up from black and white and one on the with adverts on it so I don't watch that one with all the subliminal messaging and that it might hypnotise me in to opening my purse and as it takes a long time for the fly wheel to get up to speed and takes a lot of effort to peddle that fast.
If I just read the program scripts and reenact the program with sock puppets it is moor entertaining and cheaper on the electric.
Bein ded posh like, I have three channels, I have bbc1 on a ferguson pieinear bbc2 on a Philips it still has the red and blue gun working so is a step up from black and white and one on the with adverts on it so I don't watch that one with all the subliminal messaging and that it might hypnotise me in to opening my purse and as it takes a long time for the fly wheel to get up to speed and takes a lot of effort to peddle that fast.
If I just read the program scripts and reenact the program with sock puppets it is moor entertaining and cheaper on the electric.
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Perhaps he'll get eaten by a Nallygate-her if he goes there. Smothered in lard and covered in chestical hair he could easily be miss take hen for a nanimal and snapped up. Today's SBGG tomorrow's alligator poo!
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
I meant to mention. Apparently the Royal family is looking for another residence for their summer holidays. Once Scotland becomes officially a foreign country they feel they shouldn't use Balmoral, which will revert to its previous use as a lunatic asylum.
I 'happen to have heard' that they are looking at a place in Yorkshire*. Phil' the Greek is a card and has already promised to dress in the local manner** in clogs, flat cap and have a damp Woodbine hanging from the corner of his mouth.
*Similar to Scotland as in famously mean, although we do it better and think of the Scots as profligate wastrels, lots of moorland for slaughtering peasants, pheasants and grouse and so far from London that the cabinet will never find them in the event of a national crisis.
**No more wearing skirts made of scratchy wool apparently is being touted around the rest of the family by Phil and Liz.
I 'happen to have heard' that they are looking at a place in Yorkshire*. Phil' the Greek is a card and has already promised to dress in the local manner** in clogs, flat cap and have a damp Woodbine hanging from the corner of his mouth.
*Similar to Scotland as in famously mean, although we do it better and think of the Scots as profligate wastrels, lots of moorland for slaughtering peasants, pheasants and grouse and so far from London that the cabinet will never find them in the event of a national crisis.
**No more wearing skirts made of scratchy wool apparently is being touted around the rest of the family by Phil and Liz.
OP
OP
markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
I have had some letters requesting I stay some where and it would be her majesty's pleasure, it sounds like the perfect holiday and if her and her bit of fluff she picked up on a Greek holiday want to come here they are welcome to the pull out sofa any time.
The holiday plans are hitting a wall, the offspring are getting interested in coming! Apparently they worry about me going of to "foreign places" by my self. I told them as long as I can keep one of my vests on (string one is the base of my onsonble and always followed by wool, silk, and hemp) it will still be a little bit of Yorkshire wherever I go.*
As long as I take a puncture kit, umbrella, bivvi tarp, wooly jumper, lard, brown paper, string and tin of haggis every thing is covered. If I am running low on money I can sit out side posh hotels in my wheelchair looking sad, hungry and swearing gibberish until they pay me to go away.
This also works in the office the boss told me that they are actually paying me to stay away from the office and despite every cut back there has been they keep finding budget to keep me away three days a week, they even keep giving my lap top computer to other people so I have some thing to do on a Tuesday morning going around the building looking for it. This is good exorcise and I get about seeing new and interesting things, helping other staff sort out problems for them.
*following the ratification of the modernisation of the Yorkshire mans holiday dress code. the local sect elders, meeting in the back of't pub after long discussions three pints and two pickled eggs each, have approved a bandana as a knotted hanky substitute, provided the string vest is not removed.
the discussion on woollen socks and sandals got very heated one elder said five words in a row! Any thing above two is considered oratory, frowned upon as wasteful and extravagant. then he picked up his change from the table** this is a massive insult.
**this should always be left at the side of your glass as a show of trust among equals, besides every one know if a move was mad to pick it up they would loose several fingers or worse get a head shake and a tut flowed by shin mashing kick with hob nailed clogs)
