the recovery

[byegad]

It was nice knowing you. I happen to know that they are expecting you and have planned a surprise trip to a nice Island retreat where you'll get free Hi-Viz coveralls and free food for the duration of your stay life. I know who informed the Colonists of your plans to rule terrorise the world, but promised myself that I wouldn't tell anyone that is was me.

P.S. Take the ancestral Teabag and as the years drag by you'll have something to remember Yorkshire by, and it will come in handy in the toilets too!
P.P.S. Don't bend down in the showers if you drop the soap.
P.P.P.S. During the two on one question and answer sessions fun quizzes that will happen regularly during the first few months of your stay, do tell the nice Colonialists that you are board and would like some water. They'll know how to treat this request. And try to take big deep breaths. Before they give you the water.

Safe outward journey, and farewell.

 

[markg0vbr]

The rug rats are insisting I get insured! As even I am worth a lot of money chopped up and sold for. Sapir parts they keep bashing on about a man waking up in a bath with no kidneys.

I am now fretting that with only a 32kg +10kg luggage allowance will I be able to take the three a day be bananas and a box of all bran a day with me, 3 nanas x 21 + 21 boxes of all-bran, 3 socks* two vests, two pants**, one shirt, three sets of cardboard cuffs and colours***, 1lb lard sun tanning/hair slicking/anti chafing for the use of and I have to save room for the free life vest the give us on the plain.
Aaaaaaaaarg!

I need a gentleman's, gentleman to do all this for me then help me disrobe and become horizontal beside a palm encrusted beach, not drag every thing I own into the back of beyond like some bewheeled Pack animal hang the expense that will get three !!!




* one as a impromptu mankini
**inside out back to front will give me 12 days before I have to give them a swish in the swimming pond.
***all-brn boxes can be cut up to replace them

 

[byegad]

To employ a Gentleman's Gentleman, first you have to be a Gentleman. What you want is a Sun Bronzed Geek God's Acolyte. Preferably one with the ability to see what you imagine rather than what he sees.

Good luck, but perhaps a visit to the local secure hospital will turn up a likely candidate.

 

[n-ick]

Is he going to LANCASHIRE ?
I know several longbow protagonists keen for a rematch.

 

[byegad]

Apparently he is going to the colonies. I'm wondering if this 'holiday' is a government sponsored one? Deportation is a good option.

 

[byegad]

Good news everyone. I signed the SBGG up for the one-way Mars trip and he's been selected.

Apparently they felt a planet-idiot would balance the rest of the well balanced and intrepid crew and help them avoid boredom on the long trip and once they get their.

 

[byegad]

Their is one condition.

They are only taking couples. Speicher are you up for it?

 

[byegad]

Anybody got some smelling salts to wake Speicher? I think she's fainted. Either it was the excitement, or more likely shock!

 

[Scoosh]

I suspect she's run a mile or three ... and is still going ...

 

[Speicher]

I suspect she's run a mile or three ... and is still going ...

 

[byegad]

Glad to see the shock wasn't fatal Speicher. Plan B will need to be put into operation. We'll kidnap a female and bundle her into the capsule just before launch. Sadly Maggie's dead, that would have killed two birds with one stone!

Suggestions for a female the world can do without will be gratefully accepted.

 

[markg0vbr]

On a number of occasions now I

Apparently he is going to the colonies. I'm wondering if this 'holiday' is a government sponsored one? Deportation is a good option.

the men in the dark blue suites that always have sun glasses on say the information about WOMD they are going to give me immunity*.

It is a long story starting with a ansester he was a night soil magnet, despising of / recycling can be lucrative. He produced saltpeter used in tanning and black powder.

Keeping up the traditions has been a labor of love involving surreptitiously siphoned pub waste a barrel and a straw bail I did make some g@@ powder for a demonstration at the local historic arms club**
They maintain, collect and demonstrate historic weapons. Take part in smooth bore shooting competitions and faf about wearing odd clothing, I fit right in with them.
Bewigged and tighted with a ostrich feather in my large brimmed hat I cut a dashing stumble with a bit of a limp figure. As I commanded a crack devision*** of troops against the dastardly round heads....... We lost! But with stile and elegance.

Also being of sound mind I have a healthy interest in politics and have been on a lot of political marches/ trike trundles some time by my self.

[/URL]

There letting me in....


*pointless I had my flue jab last week!
**all the members are recognisable by the black powder burns on there faces
***one caretaker two bus drivers three shop workers the fearsome lads from IT some chaps from the bin lorries (very fit from running around after bin lorries they fell of the back of and merciless in a fight) two of the customer counter staff lady's (I think they some time loose track of who the enemy are and randomly bash any one including fence posts, gates themselves and each other, I am begging to think they may have issues)

 

[byegad]

The pills don't appear to be working.

Or in SBGG-speak

t't pilz downt apeir two bee wokin.

 

[markg0vbr]

I am having problems with the replacement umbra dead brain pils, some odd Sid affects some of the bike club lads say I sort-of drift of and aether carry on as though no time has passed or to me it is like time has jumped, the doc says they might be a kind of fit they have always come on at a around 11:30pm when I am very worn out .

It never happened with the branded brain pickledeluxe ones

 

[byegad]

How did they notice? Sounds normal for Rawmarsh to me.