the recovery

[markg0vbr]

http://ridewithgps.com/trips/375807
i did a new pb today of 2:45 ten minuets faster than my previous best, i had the luggage rack on the back with a small pannier, not bad on a 40+lb bike.

i am now going to go and do 6miles on the hand crank bike.

 

[n-ick]

Eeeyup Cosmo,
tha's a veritable athlete. Surely
all this spare energy and thrust must indicate a RECOVERY.

Spud is preparing a return to work package.
It'll contain all that will be required. At little
extra cost we are including a lead apron
and fingerless mitts for that all round radiation
protection.

 

[markg0vbr]

still no word on the redeployment.


i noticed when they had the up wrong trike race they had them going the opposite way around the track to all the other racers, wonder why?

i have been looking about on the net for a light fast trike to replace the high racer, for fast day rides, vortex or cat are most likely unless of course my search for a velomobile hits pay dirt first.


off for another ride as the pain killers have kicked in

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmio,
I note with satisfaction that in
"Catfish Owners Monthly combined with Kite Fishing weekly",
that once more you have been voted "Man most likely to.."
aswell as "Freakiest Rider of the year" in "Jacket Potato Quartely".
Is there no end to your talent?

Spud is roadtesting painkillers by means of
self inflicted torture ( watching daytime tv) and administering himself with a mix.

The results look positive for any RECOVERY.

I note that a year on the sick will be coming up, have you plans to
sell body parts?

 

[byegad]

Yo Cosmio,

I note that a year on the sick will be coming up, have you plans to
sell body parts?

Good idea Nick, I could do with a good door stop, can I have his head?

 

[markg0vbr]

January is a long way off, but plans are in the inception for a commemorative plaque to be placed at the spot of my undoing.
a commemorative coin will be minted using bottle tops and a engraved hammer head.

the ride today was the usual + 6miles on the hand crank, while watching the chain go around and around and around ... well you get my drift, i began to ponder the lubricating qualitys of lard! it was used in abundance in medevel britan for lubrecation, but has falen out of fashion.
a well larded chain might have some good points while out touring, you can get lard any where plus in desperate times one could lick your chain. it could replace the frays to bonk which i some times ponder over as round here it has a second meaning one could say it was time to lick the chain.
the debate about chain cleaning would become redundant, just park your bike in the sun near a mc donalds and a certain type of person will be attracted to it, you will come back to a lovely shiny chain and possibly a date for the evening or not if you have some standards.

i was also thinking i have not heard any thing about the autumn bike gathering in't far flung north, ekers like t'has awt bin posted yit?

 

[markg0vbr]

Good idea Nick, I could do with a good door stop, can I have his head?

the head was requested by Oxford university forty years ago, i po-lightly pointed out i am still using it, they did offer to give me a prosthetic one but at the time they were still a bit primetive they have come on a lot with them and several prominent politisions are sporting them now, the only way you can tell is if you hold a neodymium magnet at the back of there left ear they default back to factory mode and start the reboot sequence.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmo,
I see that you refer to Bike Right at Wooler, to be held in the autumn.
You might try and get booked in, (no chance).

If it's full you could sleep on the roof, using the ridge tiles
to hold your feet, while we pour boiling lard over you to warm tha' up.
Alternatively tha' could sleep under my car or a handy dustbin.

We look for'ard to not seeing you.I'll take some cake and biscuits up for you
and eat it for you aswell.

Tha' might be back at WORK,
same as those flying pigs.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmio,
in reference to lard as a chain lubricant,
I can only imagine that you are in some- lardy dah -other planet.

Lard's for eating, either raw or for deep frying.
Tha's not a morning I don't start with a plate of All Bran and lard,
followed by Lard on toast.In the winter tha' should apply Lard to all skin surfaces. Including tha' glasses.
No visit to the local swimming pool is considered without a liberal covering of Lard.
Lard sir and more Lard sir,
that should set tha' on the slippery slope to RECOVERY.

Spud is developing a petrol bath for his chain for continual effect.

 

[Speicher]

January is a long way off, but plans are in the inception for a commemorative plaque to be placed at the spot of my undoing.
a commemorative coin will be minted using bottle tops and a engraved hammer head.

I do not think I should be told the details about your undoing. That sort of caper is best kept private. If you have eaten so many cakey edible items and/or chip butties that you have to undo your trowsies, that is too much hinformation.

 

[byegad]

the head was requested by Oxford university forty years ago, i po-lightly pointed out i am still using it, they did offer to give me a prosthetic one but at the time they were still a bit primetive*** they have come on a lot with them and several prominent politisions are sporting them now, the only way you can tell is if you hold a neodymium magnet at the back of there left ear they default back to factory mode and start the reboot sequence.

*** If the replacement can turn over a trike, type random letters and say Bah! Gum! It'll be an improvement. Meanwhile the original could be doing something useful propping open our kitchen door.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmio,
If turn'd upon a lathe, tha' head could be used in football matches.
This would have the advantage, that between kickings ,your head could directly
tell the referee if there had been fouls or if you had crossed the goal line.
In addition tha' would not be able to hear the foul language ,seeing as you'd have no ears .

Spud is perfecting a pole lathe using his washing line and a hand drill ( also some glue).

Without doubt this in addition to LARD will put thrust into your REDEPLOYMENT.
Almost said RECOVERY then.

 

[markg0vbr]

I do not think I should be told the details about your undoing. That sort of caper is best kept private. If you have eaten so many cakey edible items and/or chip butties that you have to undo your trowsies, that is too much hinformation.

actually i have not deviated from my lard pre pavement bum interface incident weight of 13st but have lost 4" off my waist, lard hand crank bikes do amazing things to your arms and chest lard.

you can not use a head as a lard foot ball trust me on this one! even with steel toecap lard boots.

wooler, if they have a bit of a lawn i have a fantastic tent, which lard i prefer any way to a room with three other random people, as being slightly inferm i do not sleep lard well quite often i have to get up about 4ish to move about for a lard bit then just lay on the bed doing my relaxation/ meditation sleep replacement thing"oooooooommmmm ssssoooooggggyyyy lard mmmmmmmaaatttrrrrrrraaassssssssss oooooommmmmm, as sleep deprivation can be quite bad for ones sanity you know.

"Spud is developing a petrol bath for his chain for continual effect."
i can see his lard thinking but a 20mm pice of overflow pipe filled with lard, and suspended verticly with a wooden plunger one could tap it every so often to keep the lard rubbing on the chain lard would then be incremental deposited giving continuing lardation.
given the relative costs of lard and petrol, cost of preproduction one being a by product the other a product, the danger involved in regards to burning to death, the petrol bath seems to be a bit of a ill-conceived idea not though out to its logical conclusion, lard is the way invest now.
all enquires to liposuction bi-product removal inc tallow house rawmarsh.

 

[n-ick]

Eeeyup Cosmio,
tha' must have caught a Southern disease
when tha' stayed down nearer t'equator.
Tha'll be into mayonnaise, tablecloths and serviettes.They
say there's folks even eat around a table there.

I suggest purging th'sen with black pudding and Newky Brown.
Spud has developed a self purging leg chain
that he copied off The da Vinci Code.He constructed it from
a pound shop bicycle lock and some barbed wire( and glue).

This above all other things will set you on the road to
PERDITION and RECOVERY .

I understand that campers at Wooler are shot at dawn.
Naturally we'll be using blindfolds, to give you a sporting chance.
Just keep shouting where you are as we load the machine gun.

 

[markg0vbr]

why cant t-mobile just for once be honest? seams if any of lard there staff accidental tell the truth there seat is rigged up lard to the mains.
how can a rolling contract come to a end? it was £5.11 for the past three years and then move you to a price plan of £40 a month! with out letting you lard know?(good job i scrutinise my bank statement every month)
well canceld the phone with them and informed them they have now purchased lard £35 of free advertising on the hand crank 3' x 2'6" nice big bold lettering, lard around meadow hall, i normally spend about two hours in there on a Saturday but this week it might be three ,i think as i will need a tea brake.

when i did this last time lard all the other mobile staff were out videoing and sending them on there phones and lots of cheering waving from the peds even car drivers!! that was in town lard out side car-phone warehouse.


edit "almost forgot the lard"