This bothered me for a long time. By the age of about thirteen I knew that to make babies a gentleman had to put his willy inside a lady but having seen my sister's anatomy in the bath I couldn't think how I would get that little pink thing inside such a place; I had visions of something like trying to push a marshmallow into a piggy bank. To add to my confusion I was raised in a strict Catholic household and had been told that it was holy and had been given to me by God for making babies, difficult to believe for something so unimpressive and smelly, so I worried quietly about all this for a good few years.
So I am eternally indebted to my headmaster who, for the final lesson of summer term announced that we were not having double French but would be learning The Facts of Life. He began by announcing: "Harrumph. You have a.... penis. And when you are not using it for urinating.... you could be using it for making babies...." and, bless him, he carried on to explain the mechanics in the same stilted fashion. It was with massive relief that a light came on in my head as I realised that the reason why it was usually stiff in the mornings was to make the physical act possible. Even though he whacked me a couple of times I am still grateful to poor old CCT, my prep school Head, for that life-changing insight.