Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Speicher]

I am not sympathetic. You over-charged your customers, did not pay your tax bill and now you must face the consequences.

 

[TheDoctor]

You're a great person who's had a rubbish time recently.
I hope this works out well for you, and that you'll be happy.
You will find someone, and they'll be amongst the luckiest people ever.
In the meantime, don't be a stranger. It's too long since we last met up.

Why can't you say it? It's the sort of thing that should be said...
(Tell me to stop being nosey if you like!)

It's actually aimed at a few different people, but I've not seen either of them for some time.

It's the day today !!!!

Erm...I don't look at either of them in that sort of way!

 

[alicat]

If you want me to help fix your problem, write a succinct paper describing the nature of the problem and the solution that you want me to implement. Then send me it in advance of the meeting so I can come prepared to help you. Don't wait until the meeting at 5pm then hand me a rambling note that includes a lot of extraneous detail and assumes prior knowledge I don't have.

 

[Maverick Goose]

FFS don't use words as verbs that aren't verbs

 

[swee'pea99]

FFS don't use words as verbs that aren't verbs

Chill

 

[TVC]

Is there anything in your entire life that you have started that someone else hasn't had to finish for you.

 

[Speicher]

Yes, next on my agenda is to get the whole town revolving around you. Why on earth did you waste so much time trying to diagnose the problem yourself?

 

[pplpilot]

I'm contracted for a 39hr week, last week I did 55, ok I get it, you take work home with you, you work till late at night, fine, bully for you. You want me to do that too? pay me the 6 figures you pay yourself then I may start to show 'a bit of commitment' . Tawt.

 

[Maverick Goose]

Chill

My spirit guide Ardbeg will show me the way

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Having meetings isn't work.

 

[Lullabelle]

Why does it take so many members of your family to stand in 1 place and block the aisle? Move

 

[perplexed]

You are a turd. You appeared to be a turd when you joined the firm. You have done nothing to alter my view that you are a turd over the past 18 months. Talking with a world weary attitude like you've been here forever amongst stressed colleagues who've have been here for ever and have been through all sorts for 30 years, and have seen more and forgotten more than you'll ever know confirms your turdness.

Desist.

 

[Colin B]

Dear customer I know you feel that for the price of delivery you feel its your right to abuse me on your door step but seriously it isn't . No I'm not a thick **** and neither am I a useless f******g t**t . I am in fact the man who is delivering your shopping , the man who unseen could have done anything too that cucumber ( but didn't) and giggled at the thought of you eating it .. You see unlike you I'm a nice bloke and I treat ppl with respect so please try and do the same for me .

 

[Colin B]

I love you your my wife but why is it I have to put down the seat after urinating why can't you lift it up after your done why is it always my responsibility to do this shoot .
If the seats up when you go to take a dump and BTW you stink as much as me but I don't moan put thebf****** g seat down take a shoot and get over it , don't sit there moaning after killing the cat cos your arse is rank and then moan cos I left the seat up

 

[andrewpreston]

Don't micromanage my every move then sigh when I haven't taken it upon myself to do something. Whenever I do, you tell me to just follow instructions. I was managing people and showing initiative, literally, before you were born. Micromanagement is a sign of insecurity not of "being on the ball", you cretin.