Things you'd like to say, but can't

[ColinJ]

Was it the .357 or the .44?

Bite the bullet and tell us the truth!

You've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

I have just offered my excuse to the purchaser of said weapon comestible. It didn't go down well. (Unlike the Magnum!)

 

[Speicher]

Ask the Procurement Executive to purchase a box of six magnums.

I like the Almond ones.

 

[ColinJ]

Ask the Procurement Executive to purchase a box of six magnums.

I like the Almond ones.

It was an almond one! So were the 2 that I had the night before. Unfortunately, it was only a box of 4 and the greedy purchaser ate one of them...

 

[TheDoctor]

To the people who verbally offered me a job on Tuesday - please send me a contract to look at.
To the people who interviewed me on Friday - please let me know if you're going to make me an offer.
To the people I applied to for a job, closing date a few days ago - please let me know if I'm going to get an interview.
I am confident I will have a job by this time next week, but I'd like to know which one!

 

[ColinJ]

[Doing the washing up... rather a lot of things piled onto the draining board. Hmm - my favourite dinner plate looks rather precariously balanced. There is a danger that it will get knocked off and smash on the tiled floor of the kitchen.

Postie calls and some letters drop through the letter box. I turn towards the door, catching the edge of the dinner plate with my left elbow. The plate slips, I lunge for it but swat it across the kitchen...

***** SMASH!!!!! *****

Oh, super!]


"Hey Col, I'd move that plate if I were you, or it will end up in a pile of pieces on the floor!"

 

[Cavalol]

Oh, that lovely standard vintage touring caravan you bought, and you've spent £57,000 in Cath sodding Kidson and put bunting all over the place? Congratulations on wrecking it, pass me the sick bucket.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

On channel four the voice over woman was talking about Derry Girls

She said "Let's all get into schoolgirls"

Not sure she thought about what she was saying.

 

[potsy]

I'm not back to work tomorrow morning after 14 days off

 

[ColinJ]

I, WHAT, EH? ... YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!!!!!! I would not have believed that anybody would write software that did something as stupid as THAT!

Thanks a bunch. That is 30 minutes of thinking/typing lost ...

[Windows just did a forced update while I was cutting and pasting so I lost what I had 'cut' before I had the chance to 'paste' it where I really wanted it.]

 

[derrick]

*** **** **** *** * ******* ****.
Ah thats better.

 

[lane]

Annoying, isn't it!

I don't normally watch TV advertising - I usually record programmes on commercial channels so I can skip the ads - but a couple of times recently I put something on in the background while I was working on the computer. What did I see - funeral plans for the over-60s and life insurance for the over-50s! (I'm sure that is because it is mostly older people like me who are in on weekdays.)

Suspect it is also demographic of the chanell yoy are watching

 

[Llankey43]

Stick your #**#ing job lol

 

[Lullabelle]

So 13 years ago you left to have a child and live on benefits as a single mum, another relationship-another child, more benefit money. Today you popped in to say to say hi to everyone, the fact that you have now been told to get a job because your benefits are being cut is just purely coincidental

You are not having my job

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

I'll bet that practically every Doctor, or Nurse, in the country want to give this information - be it tactfully, or not


View: https://www.facebook.com/ukparamedichumour/photos/a.802000429881874/2181614338587136/?type=3&theater

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Stop trying to talk over him, he's got a speech impediment you arse.