Things you'd like to say, but can't

[ColinJ]

I don't know what to say to her. Any tips or advice?

Ask her if she is a cyclist, and if not, would she like to become one? Assuming yes, or yes, tell her that you would be happy to accompany her if she would like that.

If she laughs and says "Hell, no!", think hard before continuing?

 

[Moon bunny]

Talk to her like she's a normal human being, about normal human being stuff, then when you get to know her better ask her if she fancies a drink sometime, play it by ear. AND DO NOT try any cheesy chat up lines.

 

[Moon bunny]

Also remember people say far more with their faces and body than they do with their mouths.

 

[Moon bunny]

Worked on me:

I met Moon Bunny when she had trouble with her Sturmey-Archer, said "I've never been with a red-haired bird, fancy a drink?" and haven't looked back since.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Talk to her like she's a normal human being, about normal human being stuff, then when you get to know her better ask her if she fancies a drink sometime, play it by ear. AND DO NOT try any cheesy chat up lines.

I've been talking to her on and off since January. The main focal point of our conversations seems to be my dog. She likes him a lot and makes quite a fuss of him every time i go in. We also chat about clothes as it's a clothes shop she works in. Like i said earlier,i plucked up the courage to ask a few personal questions on Friday.Nothing heavy,just if she was single and did she go in a pub which i know of near to where she lives. If she wanted to give me the brush off wouldn't she have said she wasn't single and didn't go in that pub? I was that close to asking her then she was distracted by a customer. She might think i'm too old for her,as i'm 59 and she looks about late 40's early 50's. If i ask and she says thanks,but no thanks i'll be slightly devastated because i do like her! It's ok people who i've mentioned her to saying stuff like "Accept her rejection,if she says no and ask another woman out",but i'm not really after any woman,just her. I hope folk don't think that's creepy and i'm trying to stop it seeming that way. I'm not interested in dating sites. it's as if this was meant to happen. I'm already making excuses to not ask her today as intended. My car needs a service,it might be her day off,i need to go to the gym,it has to rain etc etc. Maybe if i don't ask her out someone else will and then i would be kicking myself!

 

[Chris S]

Stop stock piling the bloody toilet roll, hand cleansers, and paracetomol. Just take your fair share for gawds sake!

I did that and when I went to the shops this morning there weren't any left. It's created a vicious circle.

 

[Moon bunny]

I've been talking to her on and off since January. The main focal point of our conversations seems to be my dog. She likes him a lot and makes quite a fuss of him every time i go in. We also chat about clothes as it's a clothes shop she works in. Like i said earlier,i plucked up the courage to ask a few personal questions on Friday.Nothing heavy,just if she was single and did she go in a pub which i know of near to where she lives. If she wanted to give me the brush off wouldn't she have said she wasn't single and didn't go in that pub? I was that close to asking her then she was distracted by a customer. She might think i'm too old for her,as i'm 59 and she looks about late 40's early 50's. If i ask and she says thanks,but no thanks i'll be slightly devastated because i do like her! It's ok people who i've mentioned her to saying stuff like "Accept her rejection,if she says no and ask another woman out",but i'm not really after any woman,just her. I hope folk don't think that's creepy and i'm trying to stop it seeming that way. I'm not interested in dating sites. it's as if this was meant to happen. I'm already making excuses to not ask her today as intended. My car needs a service,it might be her day off,i need to go to the gym,it has to rain etc etc. Maybe if i don't ask her out someone else will and then i would be kicking myself!

"Faint heart never won fair lady" says the old proverb, and it is spot on. The longer you put it off, the more you come across as lacking confidence, etc. I won't say more but the longer you wait the worse.

 

[Mrs M]

I've been talking to her on and off since January. The main focal point of our conversations seems to be my dog. She likes him a lot and makes quite a fuss of him every time i go in. We also chat about clothes as it's a clothes shop she works in. Like i said earlier,i plucked up the courage to ask a few personal questions on Friday.Nothing heavy,just if she was single and did she go in a pub which i know of near to where she lives. If she wanted to give me the brush off wouldn't she have said she wasn't single and didn't go in that pub? I was that close to asking her then she was distracted by a customer. She might think i'm too old for her,as i'm 59 and she looks about late 40's early 50's. If i ask and she says thanks,but no thanks i'll be slightly devastated because i do like her! It's ok people who i've mentioned her to saying stuff like "Accept her rejection,if she says no and ask another woman out",but i'm not really after any woman,just her. I hope folk don't think that's creepy and i'm trying to stop it seeming that way. I'm not interested in dating sites. it's as if this was meant to happen. I'm already making excuses to not ask her today as intended. My car needs a service,it might be her day off,i need to go to the gym,it has to rain etc etc. Maybe if i don't ask her out someone else will and then i would be kicking myself!

Maybe ask her if she’d like to go for a wee walk with you and Jake?
Good luck

 

[Accy cyclist]

"Faint heart never won fair lady" says the old proverb, and it is spot on. The longer you put it off, the more you come across as lacking confidence, etc. I won't say more but the longer you wait the worse.

Maybe ask her if she’d like to go for a wee walk with you and Jake?
Good luck

I didn't make it! There i was setting off to go and see her when my car started making a bad sound. It's been playing up for a while. I drove it to a garage instead of the clothes shop she works in. The mechanic said it wasn't worth risking driving too far. If it's fine tomorrow i'm going to cycle there. I haven't been on my bike for ages,but i don't want to put off me asking her out till my car gets sorted on Thursday at the earliest. There isn't a bus that runs from here to Clitheroe (where she works),so that's not an option. If i do cycle tomorrow i just hope it's not her day off!!!

 

[Mrs M]

I didn't make it! There i was setting off to go and see her when my car started making a bad sound. It's been playing up for a while. I drove it to a garage instead of the clothes shop she works in. The mechanic said it wasn't worth risking driving too far. If it's fine tomorrow i'm going to cycle there. I haven't been on my bike for ages,but i don't want to put off me asking her out till my car gets sorted on Thursday at the earliest. There isn't a bus that runs from here to Clitheroe (where she works),so that's not an option. If i do cycle tomorrow i just hope it's not her day off!!!

Never mind, there’s always tomorrow

 

[Accy cyclist]

Never mind, there’s always tomorrow

Anyway,i'm pleased with myself that i plucked up the courage to go and see her,even if i didn't make it! Fingers crossed for tomorrow!!

 

[Mugshot]

I didn't make it! There i was setting off to go and see her when my car started making a bad sound. It's been playing up for a while. I drove it to a garage instead of the clothes shop she works in. The mechanic said it wasn't worth risking driving too far. If it's fine tomorrow i'm going to cycle there. I haven't been on my bike for ages,but i don't want to put off me asking her out till my car gets sorted on Thursday at the earliest. There isn't a bus that runs from here to Clitheroe (where she works),so that's not an option. If i do cycle tomorrow i just hope it's not her day off!!!

I thought you were self isolating as you had corona.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I thought you were self isolating as you had corona.

Touchwood I don't have Corona. I had it in my head that I had. My hypochondria was going haywire!!

 

[AuroraSaab]

I agree with Mrs M. The dog's your way in. Unfortunate that we might all be in lockdown by the weekend, which might put the kibosh on your opportunities.

I would just make chit chat about the dog, and then say, 'Well if you fancy going for a walk with (said dog), let me know. There's a pub/cafe at xxxxx that allows pets'. Make it during the day; casual, no pressure.

That leaves it up to her to respond, but there's no pressure. The key thing is though, don't be too upset if she doesn't take you up on it. It might not be the right time for her or she might not be looking for romance. If you don't get a positive result, the worse thing would be to stop using the shop out of embarrassment or feeling rejected. You'll make her feel bad, when she shouldn't, and the incident will grow out of all proportion in your head. Just carry on as usual. Good luck.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Unfortunate that we might all be in lockdown by the weekend, which might put the kibosh on your opportunities.

That's my fear! I want to ask her before it becomes almost impossible to do so.
I suppose i could phone the shop and ask to speak to her,but that'd make it easier for her to say 'no thanks'.

the worse thing would be to stop using the shop out of embarrassment or feeling rejected.

I also think the same. No,i wouldn't stop going in. Besides,it'd make me look a bit wimpy (can't hack rejection etc). If she does say no,i will still go in,but not as much,as i'm only really going in to see her and chat to her. I'd still chat to her,but it just wouldn't be the same.