Training a Duck

[Sharky]

If you could train a duck to play cricket, would it always be out first ball?

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I'd train it to wash it's hands before greeting guests

 

[berty bassett]

train it not to look through its wing feathers when playing hide n seek !

 

[winjim]

Train it to be a soul singer. Just stick it in the oven until its Bill Withers.





Thinking about it actually, I mislike this joke when written down, as I don't know how best to capitalise or apostrophise it. Just say it out loud, it's much better.

 

[Vegan1]

I would not teach it anything, instead let it roam free as mother N intended.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I would not teach it anything, instead let it roam free as mother N intended.

Lovely shredded on pancakes with a bit of Hoi Sin sauce though.

 

[MikeG]

Ok, mine will sigh at every adult on a mountain bike then turn to face your duck and raise a single eyebrow of contempt whilst silently asking yours to have a go if it thinks it's hard enough.

Your duck has eyebrows?!

 

[Markymark]

Your duck has eyebrows?!

My chicken has been trained as a duck beautician and has stuck false ones on.*

* I guarantee that sentence has never been said or written before in any language since the dawn of time;

 

[MichaelW2]

After undergoing all of the training above, the duck might well be mature enough to be trained for a role in law enforcement.

 

[Venod]

If you could train a duck to do anything apart from jumping in the oven , what would train it to do

must be the most quack pot thread ever.

 

[MikeG]

My chicken has been trained as a duck beautician and has stuck false ones on........;

Whoa, hang on a sec. Are you now admitting that you have been discussing a chicken under false pretenses in a thread about ducks?

I'm not sure the stocks are going to be enough to sort this out. It's the flogging tree for you. Away with him, and don't spare the lashes.......

 

[stephec]

I'd take mine to a duck do.

 

[biggs682]

glad to see no really stupid ones

 

[biggs682]

must be the most quack pot thread ever.

sure there has been others

 

[Markymark]

Whoa, hang on a sec. Are you now admitting that you have been discussing a chicken under false pretenses in a thread about ducks?

I'm not sure the stocks are going to be enough to sort this out. It's the flogging tree for you. Away with him, and don't spare the lashes.......

No no no. My chicken is the beautician for my duck that sits in my bike, obvs.