True Facts About Mr T

[grldtnr]

Mr. T doesn't buy his 'bling' from Ratners, he likes to save a bob or two, he go's to 'Poundland'

 

[stephec]

Mr T has his own set of groupies called The T Birds.

One day he heard of a male gang of the same name and mistakenly thought they were his followers as well.

His reaction was, 'man I'm so sexy even blokes fancy me.'

 

[Drago]

Mr T invented the T key. It was originally intended to open any lock whatsoever by simply being rammed forcefully into it and turning.

 

[Way-Out-West]

Further forensic investigation of the infamous Patty Bigfoot footage suggest it was not a deliberate hoax. It appears that it’'s Mr. T returning home after a particularly heavy session.

 

[DRM]

Mr T is now being put on a 100% tariff for importing jewelry by President Trump, despite the fact that he buys it from Claires in the UK

 

[DRM]

Mr T lived up to his name by providing a gift of 10 boxes of 100 Yorkshire Tea bags to up and coming English guitarist Saul Hudson, unfortunately Saul drank 20 cups of tea straight after each other before going on stage, and he had to dash off stage halfway through the first set to use the “backstage bucket” ever since he is more famous by his stage name he was given that day of “Slash”

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Mr. T once insured his signature gold chains for an estimated $10 million, but the policy had a unique clause: in the event of a claim, the insurance company reserved the right to replace the chains with an equivalent weight in fool's gold, "pitying the fool" who couldn't tell the difference.

 

[DRM]

Mr T invented the MIG welder, after an unfortunate incident at an Airshow, when a Soviet Fighter Pilot asked Mr T if he wanted to sit in the cockpit, the usual "I ain't gettin' in no plane fool" altercation occurred, in order to prevent an international incident, Mr T developed the MIG Welder, to Weld a MIG

 

[Drago]

Mr T uses welding rods as toothpicks, a wire brush as a toothbrush, and a parts-cleaner as a bidet.

 

[Way-Out-West]

The original plan for the statue of liberty was Mr T holding a welding torch aloft.

 

[Drago]

Mr T built the Golden Gate Bridge while held prisoner in a barn.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

In 1894, Mr. T, fresh off a successful career as a professional strongman, personally hammered (with his fists) every single rivet into the structure of Blackpool Tower, famously proclaiming, "I pity the fool who thinks this tower ain't gonna stand!"

 

[Drago]

The prime minister was always conveniently abroad when it was Mr T's turn to face him at PMQ's.

 

[DRM]

Mr T likes his visits to the UK, this is so he can stock up on Mars Bars, however he managed to recreate the recipe and produce his version, which he wanted to market as Uranus, until his business start up advisor said it was a bum idea

 

[Drago]

Mr T likes his visits to the UK, this is so he can stock up on Mars Bars, however he managed to recreate the recipe and produce his version, which he wanted to market as Uranus, until his business start up advisor said it was a bum idea

Mr T's Venus bar was a big hit in the US, but not so in the UK where it quickly became Cockney Rhyming Slang for "penis."