True Facts About Ross Kemp

[raleighnut]

Ross Kemp is an actor and as such likes being 'spitroasted' by @Drago and his chum.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is an actor and as such likes being 'spitroasted' by @Drago and his chum.

I've got a chum!

 

[stephec]

I've got a chum!

Allegedly, and his initials are RK.

 

[PeteXXX]

Ross Kemp is singing Great Britain's entry in the Eurovision Song Contest this year 🎶

 

[Drago]

During WW2 Ross Kemp worked as a Winston Churchill double. This foiled several assassination attempts including one by Michael Caine who at the time was working for the nazzies.

It also gave Churchill a reputation for being hard as nails, and calling opposition MPs 'ponce' in the House of Commons,

 

[stephec]

Graham Norton has refused to commentate on this year's Eurovision, his reason, 'I'm not risking some bitchy comments on his performance.'

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp is singing Great Britain's entry in the Eurovision Song Contest this year 🎶

A cheerful ditty called "You're Going Home In A F*&%ing Ambulance"

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross Kemp was born with a scowl.

Ross Kemp was actually created in a chemical spillage on the M25.

 

[Drago]

The M25 was supposed to cut through London but planners were too frightened to compulsory purchase the Queen Vic and incur the wrath of Ross Kemp.

 

[DRM]

News reports from Australia say that several Great White Sharks have suffered Ross Kemp attacks in the New South Wales area

 

[Drago]

The Great Storm of 1987 was in fact the result of Ross Kemp lighting his farts after a diet of Pernod and duck eggs.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp was immediately disqualified from the East End Farting Competition when he dropped his keks, gripped the pole, and s**t himself.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp is cuurently filming a "Survivalist" tv series where he attempts to go a whole month eating solely at 1 star Michelin restaurants.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp looks so much like Heston Blumenthal that the pair regularly swap places for the day. Kemp tries to arrange this for a day when he's due in court, or fish and chip day at the restaurant.

 

[Way-Out-West]

In an ill advised appearance on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ross Kemp thought he’d won after dragging the host 12.3 miles over rough terrain.