accountantpete
OAP
In the original film Very Basic Instinct, Ross Kemp dressed in a kilt slowly opens his legs.
True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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Mad Doug Biker
Mediocrity Manifest.
- Location
- Craggy Island
Although, a few years back, he got a special delivery of...
... Castro Oil.
Basically, it was the natural oils off of Fidel. Unfortunately, said Cuban dictator died not long after, so it was a one - off.
It brought out such a lovely patina on Ross too.
Although he has been known to use Sharon's Anusol at times too.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
The latest bullet proof vests are made out of Ross Kemp’s hair. This is why Ross appears bald as he makes 1,000 vests a week.
Mad Doug Biker
Mediocrity Manifest.
- Location
- Craggy Island
He's been bald for years, so... Whereabouts is the hair coming from? 🤔🤣
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
NASA believe Ross Kemps head would not only survive re-entry, but would remain intact after landing without a parachute.
Mad Doug Biker
Mediocrity Manifest.
- Location
- Craggy Island
NASA propose to send Ross Kemp to Venus, as he's the only thing strong enough to withstand the pressure!
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Mad Doug Biker
Mediocrity Manifest.
- Location
- Craggy Island
You don't wanna know.
One of Ross Kemp's pubes is worth more than gold!
The person who cleans his shower plug hole is a VERY wealthy person! 🤣
Last edited:
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Mad Doug Biker
Mediocrity Manifest.
- Location
- Craggy Island
Is that the black one, the white one or the one with a little shite on.
All, even if it advisable to clean them in bleach at the very least.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemps chosen subjects on Mastermind were Famous Robberies of the 20th Century, and Purdy Shotguns 1950-2000.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Ross Kemp doesn’t ride an e-bike. Non of that poncy assistance for me he has been heard saying as he propels his bike with his bare feet.
Dogtrousers
Lefty tighty. Get it righty.
Ross Kemp is a keen DIY enthusiast. He owns two tools: A big hammer and a very big hammer.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Ross Kemp has been signed up in NASAs asteroid deflection initiative.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp uses Steve McFaddens skull as a pencil tidy.
