Uniforms at funerals

[snapper_37]

I went to my Dad's funeral in a Hawaiian shirt, so doesit matter what she wears as long she's coming to pay her respects?

No, of course not. But why wear the uniform?. My cousin (whose Mom has passed) doesn't even know she's Army and hasn't seen her or spoken to her. It just seems a little off to me, that's all.

Praps I'm talking shite.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

No, of course not. But why wear the uniform?. My cousin (whose Mom has passed) doesn't even know she's Army and hasn't seen her or spoken to her. It just seems a little off to me, that's all.

Praps I'm talking shite.

No, you are talking sense and I do understand your puzzlement. But remember that to members of the forces, it is perfectly normal, nay a requirement to attend funerals in uniform.

 

[snapper_37]

No, you are talking sense and I do understand your puzzlement. But remember that to members of the forces, it is perfectly normal, nay a requirement to attend funerals in uniform.

Thanks GA. I think my problem is that my OH was in the op theatre and also looked into her when she could. My cousin will turn up all suited and booted and everyone will be bowing down with respect (although she hasn't even done a tour yet). That's what annoys me.

 

[Archie_tect]

It's your aunty's funeral... so who's going to be bothered apart from you?

 

[gavintc]

Thanks GA. I think my problem is that my OH was in the op theatre and also looked into her when she could. My cousin will turn up all suited and booted and everyone will be bowing down with respect (although she hasn't even done a tour yet). That's what annoys me.

She has just left Sandhurst, so will be a little green. She will not have deployed as I presume she is still in training. She will regard her uniform as the norm. Perhaps as a UK society we have lost our awareness of military uniform (blame the Irish problem for that one) and most people find the uniform as alien. Few soldiers wear uniform with confidence in public.

Give here a break. If you are uncomfortable with uniform, I think you need to look through the uniform to the person. If you are uncomfortable with her as a person turning up, that is a different issue.

 

[ufkacbln]

I dont think anyone has suggested that the army's status is higher or lower than any other profession.

Its certain lower in status than the Royal Navy!

 

[JamesAC]

My son came to my (second!) wedding in his army uniform, and he was married similarly. I attended my cousin's wedding in my merchant navy officers uniform. I don't see the problem, really, though I suppose that at a funeral one might dress rather more somberly unless it was a fellow service person who had died.

What does irk me is when chaps who have scant connection with Scotland wear kilts and stuff to weddings.

 

[snapper_37]

I think Gavin has a good point. Is it her turning up thats the real problem? Are you sure you don't resent her having so little to do with her dying aunt, then turning up and grabbing the limelight after you have done all the hard work.

Look inside yourself Snapper, thats where the answer is.

lol, don't be so daft Maggs. I'm as proud of my cousin as anyone and love her to death. It was great to see her.

As I suspected, there were lots of raised eyebrows and nudge-nudges at the funeral earlier. Especially from people who don't know protocol who were tut tutting because she didn't take her hat off.

That's all my point was.

 

[Mr Pig]

Looking back at old family photographs half the people in them are in uniform. I like that, it tells you more about the people in the pictures. As far as I'm concerned anyone who's brave enough to join the armed forces should be free to wear the uniform any time they like. They deserve our respect and support.

 

[ChrisKH]

I went to my Dad's funeral in a Hawaiian shirt, so doesit matter what she wears as long she's coming to pay her respects?

Indeed. I think it also depends on the wishes of the departed. My mum did not want black or funereal clothes so we all dressed brightly. My father was a more formal man who spent years in a suit. He was buried in his Charlton shirt(!) but would have expected everyone to dress smartly and for me to wear an ICAEW tie and for my brother to wear his RAF regiment tie or RAF officer's kit (commissioned officer for ATC & reservist). So we did. I know forces people like to break out their finery whenever they can and I personally have no problem with that.

 

[Plax]

I thought it was just standard practice that anyone in the military wore their uniform when attending weddings/funerals. The police however are only supposed to wear a uniform to a funeral if it is to represent the Police Service / it's the funeral of a colleague (or that is certainly the case in my local police service).

 

[joebe]

What does irk me is when chaps who have scant connection with Scotland wear kilts and stuff to weddings.

Why? I wore a kilt to a friends wedding once as it was a scottish affair and I had to 'ush'. What's wrong with that.

Anyway I object to the 'scant connection' observation, efter all I've put up with them as neighbours all my life.

 

[Arch]

Looking back at old family photographs half the people in them are in uniform. I like that, it tells you more about the people in the pictures. As far as I'm concerned anyone who's brave enough to join the armed forces should be free to wear the uniform any time they like. They deserve our respect and support.

Of course, in old family photos a lot of the people in uniform will be conscripts from the world wars.... So they didn't necessarily join out of choice.

With regard to the OP, I think the dress code should be whatever makes people comfortable, or whatever the deceased would have liked to see. I imagine that once you're in a uniform you've striven to attain, it makes you comfortable...

 

[Twenty Inch]

Does it matter? If your Aunty was your Cousin's mum, then surely it has little to do with you?

Time for the Serenity Prayer, I think.

 

[snapper_37]

Does it matter? If your Aunty was your Cousin's mum, then surely it has little to do with you?

Time for the Serenity Prayer, I think.

Doubt it since I'm Humanist.

You obviously haven't read the OP TwentyInch.

The cousin in the Army is the niece (well, step Niece if you want to get picky) of the deceased. Army cousin has never laid eyes on the deceased or had anything to do with rest of that side of the family. The cousin was not asked to wear military uniform by the deceased's daughter. IN fact, the deceased daughter hardly knew who she was. So, IMO it was not etiquette.

It's complicated as there are a lot of family politics at play. Army cousin was basically sent by Army cousin's mother as a 'look at me' gesture, egged on I may add, by my old dear and frankly used as a pawn. That's what I don't think was right.

Anyway, everything went off ok and I will be raising a glass to the departed tonight.