What does your bike tell us about you?

[Pat "5mph"]

My bikes tell you, as a cyclist in the know, that I am a small woman, that I ride mainly paths, an utilitarian rider that nows enough to keep her drivetrain clean but does not spend on upgrading.
Others, non cyclists, normally just say "nice bike"

 

[Spinney]

My bikes tell you, as a cyclist in the know, that I am a small woman, that I ride mainly paths, an utilitarian rider that nows enough to keep her drivetrain clean but does not spend on upgrading.
Others, non cyclists, normally just say "nice bike"

Not like this, I hope!

 

[classic33]

Probably once appeared on scrapheap challenge

Check for a Brox.
http://bike4.co.uk/

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Creepy @Spinney!
No, not like that

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Check for a a Brox.

Your bike is probably worth more than my flat

 

[classic33]

Your bike is probably worth more than my flat

£3,900 plus VAT, to replace.

 

[bpsmith]

Seems a good shout

Not sure were the old skool part comes from though

Well the frame and gold chain look old skool at face value to me. Not meaning any harm by that mind you.

 

[russ.will]

It's less than a week old, but I'm looking forward to the personality deconstruction:

And no, I did not want the black one. I'm just not that 'individual'.

Russell

 

[anothersam]

I'm just not that 'individual'.

Oh but you are. The devil is in the details. Red inner tube valve caps. First, there's the fact that you have left them on, even on a bike "less than a week old" – a seeming throwaway line meant to throw us off the scent. This means you are a very cautious individual. But red? That's like wearing red suspenders.

Spoiler: Don't click – think of the children!

No, the other kind

That's what saucy Americans and Canadians call braces

Combined with the red accent mark on the tip of the saddle, and the bag of tomato (the forbidden fruit) planter in the background, a trend is emerging that a streak of flamboyance runs through your life, though you may try to hide it with the respectable paint job of your Planet X. This is at odds with your cautious nature. Odds are you're a {secret?} Gemini, among other things.

 

[russ.will]

Technically I am a Gemini, although that is only pertinent to people also likely to believe an omnipotent imaginary friend, or other such fairy tales. I was previously unaware of the conventions of which you talk, surrounding valve prohylactics and will immediately undertake a course of corrective study on the subject.

Russell

PS. The tomatoes are the wife's and nothing to do with me.

 

[cyberknight]

go on then , i can a good ribbing.

 

[Smokin Joe]

go on then , i can a good ribbing.

Chain on the small ring, valves not at six o'clock.

Tells us you're a slut.

 

[russ.will]

Earlier on today, as I was adding some bits here and there - saddle aero-bag, mini-pump, bottle cage, etc - I took the red valve covers off. Then I thought, no; I'll leave them on

In order to feel happy doing this, I wore my wife's underwear, for comfort reasons.

Russell

 

[russ.will]

Parking the gears with the derailleur springs at their least tensioned?

To be fair, this was the recommendation 'back in the day' so again, I stand to be corrected.

Russell

 

[anothersam]

@cyberknight
Your bike had me scratching my head. Then I examined it under infrared. Whoa!

A wicker basket! With an adorable puppy poking his head out. This tells me you're not attempting any Boardmanesque feats, but prefer social riding at a conversational pace with others out "walking" their dogs. However, another detail would seem to present a darker picture. See it on the seat tube? Here's an enlargement:

You don't specify if this was off-the-rack, custom built for you by Boardman himself, or bought used. If new and this is the standard spec, it calls into question the ethics and dark machinations of the cycling industry. If used I would seriously question its provenance. If Chris Himself is implicated, God help us all & get that puppy out of there. Not a reflection on you btw: caveat emptor.

I took the red valve covers off. Then I thought, no; I'll leave them on. In order to feel happy doing this, I wore my wife's underwear, for comfort reasons.

Is your wife's underwear comfortable? No, not unless you're wearing it on your head. (You didn't specify. I know some things by book learning, others through experience.) We all have our little rituals and quirks, some more deserving of Facebook status updates than others. Textbook case of the id overruling the ego. Also for comfort reasons.