What's the point of cats?

[goo_mason]

I'd rather have a cat than have anything to do with some of the ignorant, nasty and unthinking numpties in this place, that's for sure.

 

[ComedyPilot]

I'd rather have a cat than have anything to do with some of the ignorant, nasty and unthinking numpties in this place, that's for sure.

Fair goes, but we wouldn't dream of pooing in your window box.

 

[Mr Pig]

Fair goes, but we wouldn't dream of pooing in your window box.

Well, you can't speak for everyone.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Well, you can't speak for everyone.

No, Lisa and Bad Kitty aren't here to defend themselves.

 

[keithyboy]

That is my seat they have stolen, by the way...

That's the point of cats. They are fantastic company, they go and shoot in next door's garden so you don't have to carry around a little bag of shoot when you go for a walk, and they are just cool.

 

[Intelligenthamster]

You never hear of postmen or babies being savaged by the family cat...

 

[ComedyPilot]

You never hear of postmen or babies being savaged by the family cat...

Cats are trained killers, I tell ya:


View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hPxGmTGarM

 

[ComedyPilot]

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvo-g_JvURI&feature=related


This is why I would have a cat.

But Mrs CP is a dog person. So I do as I am told.

 

[dmoan]

That's the point of cats. They are fantastic company, they go and shoot in next door's garden so you don't have to carry around a little bag of shoot when you go for a walk, and they are just cool.

Look at the photos of my boys. They have the eyes of two stone cold killers.

And they never answer to their names (Sylvain and Sébastien Chavanel, if you must know!). They only respond to the sound of crunchies rattling.

And they take the piss. I came back from a long day in the saddle yesterday, and sat down to some lovely tuna pasta salad. Did they leave me alone to restock my carbs and protein? Did they buggery. Both faces in my lunch - I pushed one away and the other attacked my lunch from the side!

Then both insisted on lying on top of my legs while I was trying to restore some iota of blood supply and feeling.

The black one (Sébastien) is staring at me while I am writing this. He will probably log on later using my account details and edit my posts!

 

[trustysteed]

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer.
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

 

[ColinJ]

they go and shoot in next door's garden so you don't have to carry around a little bag of shoot when you go for a walk, and they are just cool.

Or in the case of round here - rather than do what the local cats have traditionally done (walk 50 metres up the wooded hillside and crap in the woods) they have now taken to crapping on every doorstep and in every back yard in the street. There is now the permanent stink of cat shoot about the place...

 

[joolsybools]

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer.
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

 

[jig-sore]

cats can lick their privates... how cool is that ????

 

[Dayvo]

cats can lick their privates... how cool is that ????

Hmmm! I´d rather use toilet paper!

 

[joolsybools]

Cats are evil

Whats the point of:

Gordon Brown?
Spaghetti hoops?
Beer?
Flamingos?
Dust?

Answers on a postcard