when would you get married ?

[Night Train]

Well, I guess I'll have to wait until someone asks me*

* or, being an emancipated sort, someone comes along who it seems appropriate to ask.

Although I'm not bothered about being married per se, I'd be quite happy with just living with the right person.

Fancy a date?


When would I get married (again)?
When I find someone suitable and appropriate to get married to I guess.

I would be happy to be married for life, or forever, if we live that long given the right person. But that sort of commitment requires that the relationship is honest and evolves as it goes along. I wouldn't rule out sharing a home with someone or having different homes for extended periods so long as it was the right thing to do at the time.

 

[Bromptonaut]

Been together since 1983. Offspring 16 & 18. Never seen need to get married; a permanent stable relationship is all that matters.

 

[biggs682]

when the right person asks , so safe at moment as she doesnt go on here

 

[jig-sore]

the point is you do have lots of dogs in your life cos they dont live long now would you pick a dog at the age of 20 if it was going to be around for say 150 years or would you wait until you are 100 .that way you would have lived a little before getting tied down .

yeah OK, i guess that makes more sense, but as arch says, don't think of it as being tied down.

i guess im lucky in the way that i have been with my wife since we were at school, and we spent a long time together before we were married, 7 years i think.

we had split up after the first two years and then got back together less than a year later. five years on and marriage just seemed right, why not.

will i be fed up with her in 20 years time ?? hope not

 

[jig-sore]

too many people rush into marriage, you should take your time. but once your in i believe its not something to give up on lightly

 

[Silver Fox]

too many people rush into marriage, you should take your time. but once your in i believe its not something to give up on lightly

Sadly too many people do these days, it's all part of the throw away society.

 

[fossyant]

And I find the thing about 'getting a pass' to go cycling bewildering. I don't think I'd be with someone who didn't want to come along too...

My wife deffo doesn't want to ride with me....OK with the kids, but not me....... I show my son the Garmin data, and she's like.......don't tell me................. la...la..la...........

I ask for 'pass outs' at weekend some times as it's 5-7 hours out of the house.....mostly with folk on here...... not in a club any more as I get my workouts from commuting.

 

[Bayerd]

wife, husband. long term partner what ever, i didn't make out that marriage was any different or special.

my point was about getting into a relationship and putting a time limit on it. why would you do that ??

as the saying goes... "a dog is for life, not just for xmas"

That's no way to talk about the missus.....

 

[Maz]

could i cope knowing it could be another 170 ,not sure !

It could feel that long, quite easily...

 

[Arch]

Sadly too many people do these days, it's all part of the throw away society.

Someone I know, his daughter and her partner decided to get married, having been together since school - 7 or 8 years. It had to be a beach wedding in Mauritius, with parents and family having to be flown out there too - all at great expense.

6 months later, they spilt up. A case, I think, of more care put into the wedding than the marriage. Also, possibly, thinking that getting married was the solution to a relationship getting stale.

I shudder at the amount some people spend on weddings. All that money that could be spent on a house, blown for one day. Fair enough, you want a dress, and a good party, and some decent snaps of the day, but it all seems to get so out of hand, with so many 'must have' extras.*

A couple I know, already together for years, got married because it worked out better for tax. Registry Office with a couple of friends as witnesses, and then back to their house for the evening, with a buffet and booze, for a small number of guests, and then off to OZ to visit her parents for the honeymoon. Very little stress, and minimal expense on the buffet.

*Like kids' parties. Time was you played musical chairs and got a bit of cake to take home, now you have to have a professional balloon modeller and party bags of gifts. I thought it was the birthday girl/boy who got gifts...

 

[Davidc]

Arch, it doesn't have to be expensive to be a good wedding.

A friend of mine got married in his second year at university. 1971 and the baby was due in February 1972 - pretty serious back then.

They got married in Bristol register office with a dozen or so friends there, photos were copies of the ones the friends took, arranged with the pub down the road from their flat to use the upstairs room free for the evening for a 'reception', really just a very good party. Both sets of parents refused to attend or help financially because it wasn't the way they thought 'the problem' should have been dealt with. They're still quite happily together now but live near Morecombe so I don't see them often.

Total cost of the wedding was the various charges from the register office, for which all those present had had a whip round a few weeks earlier, and the first round of drinks in the evening. It's still the cheapest wedding I've ever come across.

They travelled there and back by bus, all of the guests went by bike or on foot, and we were all dressed in our most respectable (i.e. not very) normal clothes, so not even a bill for any wedding cars or suit hire.

 

[Chutzpah]

It sounds mushy, but if you were living a long time the right time would still be when you meet the "right" person. How do you know it's the right person? Feck knows!

I married at 21, I was still at uni and had been with my partner since I was 16. Some people have criticised us (including the in-laws) but I know lots of older people that have got married after only knowing someone for a year or two.

My brother has been married twice. First marriage was always going to be a car wreck. On the second we all thought was going to run and run. Split suddenly two years later. Sometimes you just don't know how things will work out.

 

[Arch]

Arch, it doesn't have to be expensive to be a good wedding.

A friend of mine got married in his second year at university. 1971 and the baby was due in February 1972 - pretty serious back then.

They got married in Bristol register office with a dozen or so friends there, photos were copies of the ones the friends took, arranged with the pub down the road from their flat to use the upstairs room free for the evening for a 'reception', really just a very good party. Both sets of parents refused to attend or help financially because it wasn't the way they thought 'the problem' should have been dealt with. They're still quite happily together now but live near Morecombe so I don't see them often.

Total cost of the wedding was the various charges from the register office, for which all those present had had a whip round a few weeks earlier, and the first round of drinks in the evening. It's still the cheapest wedding I've ever come across.

They travelled there and back by bus, all of the guests went by bike or on foot, and we were all dressed in our most respectable (i.e. not very) normal clothes, so not even a bill for any wedding cars or suit hire.

That's excellent - just the sort of thing I mean. It shouldn't matter if you don't have sugared almond table favours and a present for every bridesmaid. It ought to be the basics that matter. But these days it seems that people fork out thousands for stuff that's here today, gone tomorrow, at just the time when they ought perhaps to be spending it on a house, or keeping it to give a family the best start...

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

That's excellent - just the sort of thing I mean. It shouldn't matter if you don't have sugared almond table favours and a present for every bridesmaid. It ought to be the basics that matter. But these days it seems that people fork out thousands for stuff that's here today, gone tomorrow, at just the time when they ought perhaps to be spending it on a house, or keeping it to give a family the best start...

+1. Some folks just don't seem to be able to prioritise. All that cash blown in one day for "instant" happiness. Just bonkers. But there is a big wedding industry to support these days

 

[Davidc]

That's excellent - just the sort of thing I mean. It shouldn't matter if you don't have sugared almond table favours and a present for every bridesmaid. It ought to be the basics that matter. But these days it seems that people fork out thousands for stuff that's here today, gone tomorrow, at just the time when they ought perhaps to be spending it on a house, or keeping it to give a family the best start...

I wouldn't recommend that - a bit too basic for anyone who can afford a bit more, but I do think you are right in most cases that people go OTT. Nonetheless that wasn't just the cheapest wedding I've ever been to but one of the most fun ones, although they were a bit sad at the rift with parents (one of which got mended later)

There's a bit more to that tale, but not here, but it's interesting that they have lasted longer together than many other married couples I've known, and I suspect one of the few who wouldn't mind the 170 years together idea.