Why am I farting so much...?...SERIOUSLY!

[cyberknight]

Seriously?
Would chasing my Husband around with a Zippo really help? The dogs will stop passing out with his frequent gas attacks?

For those with a really bad problem you need a big jar and then transfer it to the gas pipeline to reduce your gas bill

 

[tyred]

I'm going to start collecting into jam pots and set up a stink bomb factory.

 

[stephec]

I'm like the queen. I don't fart. EVER ...........

Where does all the hot air come out then?

 

[welsh dragon]

Where does all the hot air come out then?

YOU.

 

[stephec]

with the exception of th bit that causes the odour is incendiary.

in past moments of stupidity I have lit them and burnt the hair on my upper thighs .

I could quote spike milligan , but for those who are really just big kids ( most Males from 18 up to 118 according to my wife) have a google and a giggle

Best way to do it is make sure you're wearing jeans, stretch your legs in such a way that that they're tight, and ignoring the advice of, 'no naked flames,' position your lighter carefully.

 

[stephec]

YOU.

So I can blame you then?

 

[byegad]

Every single time I pop in to read this thread my wife stares at me as if she had a singularly unpleasant smell under her nose. Is this normal?

 

[Ganymede]

My sister. Not me. Oh no.

Oh dear, my sister just read this thread (I linked it to her having unguardedly confessed that I was whiling my precious hours away discussing farting on a cycling forum) so I have had to apologise profusely for the above. And feel it only fair to add that I just farted.

*hangs head, sighs resignedly, vows to lead, henceforth, a better life*

EDIT:

ALTHOUGH... just realised that, as I have TWO sisters, she must have made the connection herself. Why was THAT then, eh? Eh????

EDIT AGAIN:

Spookily, she was simultaneously sending me this message:

"It's totally true...
You could just have said you meant [other sister]."

Well she is my identical twin.

 

[ayceejay]

Do you ride with your mouth open? If so all that trapped air has to come out somewhere.
My teenaged son once had a debate with his mother concerning the polite definition of 'fart' a word she was not fond of: is a smelly noise or a noisy smell? Of course what this boils down to is "When did you last beat your wife?" and the poor boy limped away defeated.

 

[Ajax Bay]

For those with a really bad problem you need a big jar and then transfer it to the gas pipeline to reduce your gas bill

Verily, an initiative whose time has come. 20-20 foresight, @cyberknight

 

[Ajax Bay]

Well I wasn't here in 2014 (and nor were you), and gas then cost a good deal less; a good good deal less.
I encourage you (and all) to scan the whole thread, but not while drinking a cup of coffee.
As for "bio" I think you might be confusing the 'B' and the 'C' in NBC for this 'individual' agent.

 

[Rusty Nails]

Verily, an initiative whose time has come. 20-20 foresight, @cyberknight

I have passed his post on to Olaf Scholz. Could be the answer to Germany's problems with the Russian gas supply.

 

[Peter Salt]

Thank you for digging this out

 

[Ajax Bay]

Credit due to @freiston (see related CC Café sub-forum thread)

 

[Gravity Aided]

Cow poo is trapped for methane, but they have that whole four stomach thing going on.