Worlds worst dad jokes.

[esoxlucius]

What travels at 80 mph along the sea floor?
A motor pike

That's only half a dad joke!!

The full version is....what travels at 80mph along the lake bed?.....A motor pike and side carp!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

That's only half a dad joke!!

The full version is....what travels at 80mph along the lake bed?.....A motor pike and side carp!

Thats an addition since I first heard it in the 1970s

 

[esoxlucius]

Thats an addition since I first heard it in the 1970s

I like that you've kept that joke in your armoury for 50 years!! Hardcore, lol.

 

[esoxlucius]

I told my wife the other day that she should embrace her mistakes.....the bitch give me a hug!!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open-toad sandals.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

 

[Chris S]

Why wouldn't the potato king let his daughter marry Frank Bough?
Because he was only a commentator.

 

[Hover Fly]

What’s yellow, sticky, and goes round the sun once every 76 years?

Halley’s vomit.

 

[Chris S]

What's yellow, runny and smells of bananas?
Monkey's vomit.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

How did I know my girlfriend thought I was invading her privacy?
She wrote about it in her diary.

 

[Chris S]

Why did the one-armed monkey fall out of the tree?
Because somebody waved at him.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance?
Lady Ba Ba.

 

[Chris S]

What time did the Chinaman go the dentist?
Tooth hurty.

 

[markemark]

The sign of a good dad joke is one that can (and is) repeated incessantly.

For example, every time I'm in the car and reversing it would be...reversing, this takes me back.
Or..I've got a hole in my sock.... well how else are you supposed to get your feet in?
Or..Can you put the kettle on?...I'm not sure it will go with my trousers.

 

[Dogtrousers]

You can't use "beef stew" as a password.
Apparently it's not stroganoff.