Worlds worst dad jokes.
- Thread starter markharry66
- Start date
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Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Where do Snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!
Snowballs!
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
What do elfs take with their phones?
Elfies.
Elfies.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
A walk.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Did you hear about the ok cocaine addict?
He eventually turned himself around.
He eventually turned himself around.
Beebo
Firm and Fruity
- Location
- Hexleybeef
But not before going in out in out of rehab.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
I saw a news report about a dyslexic devil worshipper, apparently he sold his soul to Santa
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
It's a silent pee, as in bath.
bikingdad90
Guru
Bit late to the party by a day or so. On New Year’s Eve; I saw a bloke with as many noses as days in the year.
fritz katzenjammer
Der Ubergrosserbudgie
A proper dad joke… I still don’t think my boy has forgiven me, even 20+ years later.
Our little family was sitting before the TV set, watching a family friendly movie and enjoying a pizza dinner, a Friday night ritual at our home. I excused myself and slipped upstairs and got a good big blob of hair gel out of the wife’s stash of beauty chemicals. This particular gel was sold in several colours, the differing colours denoting the holding power of the gel. As Frau Fritz wasn’t into spiked hair she used the green gel which gave her the hold she wanted but gave me an idea.
I returned to the family scene of pizza and a movie and casually plunked myself back down on the sofa beside my son, keeping the gel concealed in my hand. A minute or so later I pretended to cough and choke for a moment, dutifully shielding the kid from any mess by covering my mouth with my hand.
I then looked in the hand… went EYEEW, or words to that effect, and smeared the mess in my hand down his bare arm.
I didn’t warn my wife or the other son so nobody was ready for it.
the look on that kids face was priceless!
makes me laugh just thinking on it.
Our little family was sitting before the TV set, watching a family friendly movie and enjoying a pizza dinner, a Friday night ritual at our home. I excused myself and slipped upstairs and got a good big blob of hair gel out of the wife’s stash of beauty chemicals. This particular gel was sold in several colours, the differing colours denoting the holding power of the gel. As Frau Fritz wasn’t into spiked hair she used the green gel which gave her the hold she wanted but gave me an idea.
I returned to the family scene of pizza and a movie and casually plunked myself back down on the sofa beside my son, keeping the gel concealed in my hand. A minute or so later I pretended to cough and choke for a moment, dutifully shielding the kid from any mess by covering my mouth with my hand.
I then looked in the hand… went EYEEW, or words to that effect, and smeared the mess in my hand down his bare arm.
I didn’t warn my wife or the other son so nobody was ready for it.
the look on that kids face was priceless!
makes me laugh just thinking on it.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
I suppose it's a measure of how long this thread has been running
https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/worlds-worst-dad-jokes.305552/page-8#post-7510504
