Would you want to know?

[Lullabelle]

Last night we watched 24hrs in A&E.
A lady in her 90s fell down stairs-broke her hip and ribs. The doctor had a quiet word with her son and daughter to explain that surgery would not be ideal so they were going to take to a ward to 'keep her comfortable'. He then knelt beside the lady and explained the same thing, he was tactful and respectful. She passed a while later.

Question is: if you were old and the doctor told you that surgery was not an option, would you want to know that you were going or would you rather be blissfully unaware.

 

[Cycleops]

I don't think the doctor would be in a position to tell you, nor should he, so it would have to be the latter.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Question is: if you were old and the doctor told you that surgery was not an option, would you want to know that you were going or would you rather be blissfully unaware.

I understand what you are saying, at 60 I don't call myself old, but if something happened to me which I wasn't going to survive I would like to know, even if only to say those words to my family that I don't say enough.

 

[Spiderweb]

My mum fell and broke her hip, the operation went well, she remained in hospital to recover. Unfortunately despite efforts by physio therapists she really struggled to regain mobility. I visited every day and one night she said that the doctor had asked her if she had her affairs in order, this confused her and frightened her. She was always scared of hospitals and illness, I really wish the doctor had discussed this with me first. Neither myself or my mum new her life was threatened, she would not have wanted to know.
Mum passed away approximately 2 weeks later.

 

[fossyant]

My MIL was sort of told she wouldn't make it last Feb. They had removed most of her medication, breathing was quite frightening - gasping for air. She knew she'd had it, and we were discussing with medical staff that's she had lasted much longer than expected.

Guess what, she's still here and in good health. They popped her onto Insulin Injections in hospital as her Type 2 was out of control, this prevented the multiple organ failure, so she recovered.

It's not over until it's over ! You don't always know.

 

[I like Skol]

My mum fell and broke her hip, the operation went well, she remained in hospital to recover. Unfortunately despite efforts by physio therapists she really struggled to regain mobility. I visited every day and one night she said that the doctor had asked her if she had her affairs in order, this confused her and frightened her. She was always scared of hospitals and illness, I really wish the doctor had discussed this with me first. Neither myself or my mum new her life was threatened, she would not have wanted to know.
Mum passed away approximately 2 weeks later.

THIS^^^^

If there is someone else appropriate and able to take on board that information and decision then the duty of medical care must surely require the patient to be relieved of the stress that would come with such a revelation? Putting that information to someone 'on the edge' could be reasonably expected to tip them over the edge.

 

[Dirk]

I'd rather be told the straight truth.
Can't stand beating about the bush; I'd rather know exactly where I stand.

 

[welsh dragon]

My mum fell and broke her hip, the operation went well, she remained in hospital to recover. Unfortunately despite efforts by physio therapists she really struggled to regain mobility. I visited every day and one night she said that the doctor had asked her if she had her affairs in order, this confused her and frightened her. She was always scared of hospitals and illness, I really wish the doctor had discussed this with me first. Neither myself or my mum new her life was threatened, she would not have wanted to know.
Mum passed away approximately 2 weeks later.

Not exactly tactful was it. I wonder what that Dr does for an encore.

 

[Mo1959]

When dad was last admitted to hospital, it turned out more serious than expected. The circulation to his foot had shut down plus a chest infection was setting in. When I went down on Christmas day the doctor took me aside and was pretty blunt and said, apart from amputation which he might not have survived and also loads of antibiotics to clear the chest infection there was no more they could do. He said he would probably only have days. He died on the 28th. I don’t actually know if they told him how bad he was.

 

[johnblack]

I'd be ok with being told, I'd then ask for lots of lovely morphine.

 

[Mo1959]

I'd be ok with being told, I'd then ask for lots of lovely morphine.

Yep, me too. It’s more the dying process that scares me. I would rather slip away not being aware.

 

[Electric_Andy]

it's a tricky one. I've always wanted to know the truth, and I believe in tackling difficult conversations head on. This eliminates the worry. But as said before, this isn't the desired process for everyone, especially those who are already anxious about death and hospitals.

 

[numbnuts]

There are two things that we must do in our lives, pay taxes and die, lets make them both as painless as possible.

 

[Globalti]

I'd certainly want to know so that I could say goodbyes. My MIL didn't understand that she was dying with ovarian cancer as it was painless, despite the best efforts of the GP who, in earshot of her, asked: "I don't know what I'm doing here, she's going to die in two weeks!". Mrs Gti thought it was better she stayed in ignorance and if she did understand what was happening, she didn't acknowledge it. She had a peaceful, warm, well-medicated, clean and well-nursed last few weeks in our front room converted to a hospital room, with the wood-burner lit and the cat asleep on the bed.

 

[Electric_Andy]

Sometimes the Doctors don't get it right, they are not magic. We got the vicar in for my Gran, and she pulled through. We then all hurried there on 3 more occasions over two weeks and she "got out of the woods" again. She finally passed a couple of weeks later, but she was happy and had thankfully been moved from an acute hospital to a very quiet local palliative care unit.