Your A&E visits......funny or serious

[gbb]

At risk of hogging..
I remember pre internet days a story in Peterborough a guy arrived at A&E with a ring spanner stuck round his penis .

I'm a mechanic, I live in Pboro, I've been to A&E....but it wasnt me....no seriously...it wasnt

 

[HLaB]

I have mostly avoided going to A&E that I know of, although I've woke up in hospital a few times so may have been processed through A&E.

 

[HLaB]

At risk of hogging..
I remember pre internet days a story in Peterborough a guy arrived at A&E with a ring spanner stuck round his penis .

I'm a mechanic, I live in Pboro, I've been to A&E....but it wasnt me....no seriously...it wasnt

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Serious: when my wife brought me in after my prang with what later turned out to be a broken hip, one of their first questions was 'were you wearing a helmet?'

​

When I answered no, I was immediately whisked through the crowded A&E and seen straight away. My guess being, they daren't take a chance of a life-threatening head injury. So, tip for the top: if you want to jump the queue, don't wear a helmet...or at least say you didn't.​

Without Opening Any Debate/Argument!!!!!
Please!!!
From 20+ years in/around an A&E department ( & watching/talking to Drs/Paramedics/Traffic Police)

I've seen riders, of all ages/abilities come into our A&E
From Cat 1/semi-professionals (one is now on a pro-continental team), after incidents in local road-races, to the chap on the ubiquitous 'Bicycle Shaped Object'

Generally speaking;
The helmet wearers go home shortly, even if in a couple of plaster casts, or a sling
The non-wearers are kept for observations/Consultant review/CT scans


Likewise, no seat-belt wearers in cars come off worse, than the non-wearers
The old rubbish about being better to be thrown from a car, instead of being trapped is non-sensical

EDIT @ 16:15
The 'Were You Wearing A Helmet?' is a standard trigger question (forgetting the non legal requirement, for now)
Likewise, for a motor-vehicle RTC, it's to the patient (or Ambo crew)
"Was A Seat-Belt Worn', & "Did The Air-Bags Deploy?"

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Sure I've told this before but hey-ho. Whilst working in that London I was flat-sitting in a very posh basement flat in Holland Park. Neighbours included Carla Lane and some bloke out of Pink Floyd. Anyhoo, one night a young lady of my acquaintance and I were indulging in some energetic rumpy pumpy which involved her demonstrating some remarkable flexibility until there was a loud "click" and she screamed in pain. Her spine had locked whilst she was flat on her back, legs limbo straight up in the air. At first I thought she was joking but she rather industrially assured me she wasn't so I panicked and phoned 999. With the ambulance on the way it was time to sort out her dignity. Top half was easy enough but there was no way I could get her panties on her - they wouldn't stretch five feet to get them on and she couldn't close her legs as the pain was intolerable. I even tried my boxer shorts, but no go. With the medics now at the door, I hastily wrapped a towel around her modesty and let the two burly lads in.

Good for them, they didn't laugh and fetched a stretcher which folded up to get into the small basement flat. Unfortunately with her in an inverted Y position, there was no way we could get her out the front door. Like a crying couch, we manoeuvred her this way and that but it just wasn't possible and she was now in constant pain so they got the laughing gas out. This worked, as they eased her legs closed (but still at 90 degrees) she was carried out.

I'm betting it's not the first time the genteel inhabitants twitching the curtains of posh Holland Park saw a girl getting carried into an ambulance, legs spread and in the air, laughing her head off.

 

[ColinJ]

Here's one I made earlier...

I was in the A&E of my sister's local hospital waiting for emergency medical test results. I was listening to a couple of drunken young men explaining to each other how they had both ended up in there with broken legs. One had been involved in a football game in a pub car park and had been tackled rather too forcefully by one of his mates. The other explained that he had taken a shortcut when he was staggering home after his night out. Apparently it was easier to walk over a sports centre than round it! He had clambered up onto the roof and walked over it but then realised it was a 20 foot drop on the far side of the building. He turned round and walked back to where he had got onto the roof and lowered himself back onto the wall which he had climbed up from. Unfortunately, he lost his balance and fell off the wall. It wasn't that fall that broke the leg. He had fallen on the wrong side of the wall and ended up trapped in a locked yard beside the sports centre. He pushed a wheelie bin over to the wall and used that to climb back onto the wall but immediately fell over onto the far side of the wall, breaking his leg on landing. The pair of them had mangled legs but were clearly too drunk to feel much pain.

One of the drunks eventually turned to the person next to them and got into a chat with him. It turned out that this 3rd person was French, and also drunk! Drunken English lad had lived in France for a while but his spoken French was not very good. Drunken French lad had lived in England a while but his spoken English was not very good. They were having a ridiculous conversation using the wrong languages! English lad could understand French, and French lad could understand English but they hadn't sussed that they just needed to speak slowly in their own languages ...

 

[Venod]

I have been to A & E too many times, one was very trivial but was the only soloution.
While cycling a bee hit the back of my throat at what felt like 100 mph, I managed to spit it out but it left its sting stuck in my throat, no amount of trying with tweezers by me and Mrs Afnug could manage to get hold of it, the guy at A&E did it with someone holding my mouth open.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

I have been to A & E too many times, one was very trivial but was the only soloution.
While cycling a bee hit the back of my throat at what felt like 100 mph, I managed to spit it out but it left its sting stuck in my throat, no amount of trying with tweezers by me and Mrs Afnug could manage to get hold of it,



the guy at A&E did it with someone holding my mouth open.

Just hope it wasn't a Speculum (albeit, they are disposable items nowadays)

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Sure I've told this before but hey-ho. Whilst working in that London I was flat-sitting in a very posh basement flat in Holland Park. Neighbours included Carla Lane and some bloke out of Pink Floyd. Anyhoo, one night a young lady of my acquaintance and I were indulging in some energetic rumpy pumpy which involved her demonstrating some remarkable flexibility until there was a loud "click" and she screamed in pain. Her spine had locked whilst she was flat on her back, legs limbo straight up in the air. At first I thought she was joking but she rather industrially assured me she wasn't so I panicked and phoned 999. With the ambulance on the way it was time to sort out her dignity. Top half was easy enough but there was no way I could get her panties on her - they wouldn't stretch five feet to get them on and she couldn't close her legs as the pain was intolerable. I even tried my boxer shorts, but no go. With the medics now at the door, I hastily wrapped a towel around her modesty and let the two burly lads in.

Good for them, they didn't laugh and fetched a stretcher which folded up to get into the small basement flat. Unfortunately with her in an inverted Y position, there was no way we could get her out the front door. Like a crying couch, we manoeuvred her this way and that but it just wasn't possible and she was now in constant pain so they got the laughing gas out. This worked, as they eased her legs closed (but still at 90 degrees) she was carried out.

I'm betting it's not the first time the genteel inhabitants twitching the curtains of posh Holland Park saw a girl getting carried into an ambulance, legs spread and in the air, laughing her head off.

Why was I thinking of Blackadder???

From about 00:45...………...

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BOzOxry6lA

 

[fossyant]

I was a 'regular as a kid, and it's got no better as an adult.

Two times for split open head - one running round the dining room chasing sister, slipped and head butted the side board, and put a big split in my eyebrow (still got the scar). Playing behind a mates house on a banking, and a small top loading washing machine landed on my head (don't ask), split open head but didn't notice for over an hour when it started itching - blood everywhere.

Riding home, struck by a rock in my nose (fortunately had cycling specs on) - again gushing blood - had to stop and call in a house and got an ambulance.

Knocked off bike 5 years ago, sore head and broken ribs - in and out quite quickly, although old barsteward behind me going on about 'bloody cyclists' - I was sat there in gravel rashed lycra.

Knocked off again nearly 4 years ago - that was the bad one - express delivery via ambulance to resus part of A&E and then onto spinal ward, and almost intensive care (blood O2 stats only 70 - should be 94-96) and had the delights of 6 1/2 weeks in the spinal unit.

Can't complain really, got my monies worth !!

 

[fossyant]

Serious: when my wife brought me in after my prang with what later turned out to be a broken hip, one of their first questions was 'were you wearing a helmet?' When I answered no, I was immediately whisked through the crowded A&E and seen straight away. My guess being, they daren't take a chance of a life-threatening head injury. So, tip for the top: if you want to jump the queue, don't wear a helmet...or at least say you didn't.

I got that when I broke my back, so pointed to the immaculate helmet, still got rushed through though (not to be recommended).

 

[Globalti]

I think anybody who is knocked unconscious will get fast-tracked. My cycling buddy hit a dozy cyclist coming round a blind corner on our side of the road, broke a bone in his hand, went OTB, landed on his brand new Kask helmet and was unconscious for a few minutes. Once the ambulance had found us in the maze of narrow lanes he was taken to Major Trauma, given a thorough check- over and admitted. Being a hospital doctor he received VIP treatment while he was there. I was visiting him the next morning when the Dr did his ward round and the exchange of banter was quite amusing.

 

[Deleted member 1258]

With my Good Lady having had health problems over the last couple of years I've been in A & E with her a number of times and none of these visits were at all amusing. The last time I was in myself was November 2016, I'd been having chest pains and had gone to the walk in centre, the doctor who saw me put me straight in an ambulance to take me straight to A & E, turned out I'd had a heart attack, a couple of days later I had a stent fitted bringing my total to five.

 

[swee'pea99]

I think anybody who is knocked unconscious will get fast-tracked. My cycling buddy hit a dozy cyclist coming round a blind corner on our side of the road, broke a bone in his hand, went OTB, landed on his brand new Kask helmet and was unconscious for a few minutes. Once the ambulance had found us in the maze of narrow lanes he was taken to Major Trauma, given a thorough check- over and admitted. Being a hospital doctor he received VIP treatment while he was there. I was visiting him the next morning when the Dr did his ward round and the exchange of banter was quite amusing.

Having recently read This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor, I fear he may have been dozy on account of having just knocked off after working 18 straight hours or something.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

When patients say
"Ooh!, It's Just Like 'Casualty', Isn't It!?!"

In this Hospital, it apparently is...…………...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-en.../casualty-actor-becomes-ae-nurse-in-real-life