You're a proper commuting cyclist when...

[hackbike 666]

Sorry if this has been posted but you get in through the snow where your moton/train colleagues have failed.

Also using the bike leaned up against the front door in case of an imminent attack because of dodgy neighbour.(don't ask)

Probably not now but the habit has stuck.

Feel safer with it protecting me.

 

[andrew-the-tortoise]

Go checking your bike at lunchtime for slow punctures...

 

[summerdays]

When you cycle to work to hand in the sick note

 

[Downward]

You are excited by the gridlock on the local roads.

 

[c2c]

Sorry if this has been posted but you get in through the snow where your moton/train colleagues have failed.

Also using the bike leaned up against the front door in case of an imminent attack because of dodgy neighbour.(don't ask)

Probably not now but the habit has stuck.

Feel safer with it protecting me.

why did you lean your bike up against the front door in case of an imminent attack because of a dodgy neighbour.???

 

[hackbike 666]

why did you lean your bike up against the front door in case of an imminent attack because of a dodgy neighbour.???

Make it harder to get through the door and give me time for me to be ready for an attack possibly during the night.The way it is set out it could probably stop my door being opened easily.

It did get dodgy at the time but I know the bloke better now and we are now on better terms.I did hear him ranting upstairs at times and I thought he was on drugs but I just think he has anger issues.I still don't trust him though.As I said in uncertain times that's what I used it for.

His girlfriend has kicked him out because he smashed her flat up.(allegedly)

 

[Wobbly John]

You're a proper commuting cyclist when...

...on the rare occasion you use the car, the journey seems much longer.

 

[Bman]

...when you anaylise the weight and volume of each item you buy at the supermarket on the way home

 

[Stig-OT-Dump]

You don't think it's weird to log the miles you've travelled to and from work...
...even though you can't claim them on expenses.

 

[hackbike 666]

You wear a funny cycling shirt of which your work colleagues remark on virtually every day and also those same colleagues hilariously call you "bonnet fodder".

 

[hackbike 666]

What waterproofs?

 

[handsome joe]

When you just can't take those tights off........they feel so good.

 

[hackbike 666]

When you just can't take those tights off........they feel so good.

No I think that has something to do with something else.

 

[sunnyjim]

You're a proper commuting cyclist when...

...on the rare occasion you use the car, the journey seems much longer.

ummm..it IS much longer.
not only that, but I've got to walk from the unimportant_persons car park rather than park the trike right outside my office window so I can sit and admire it all day.

 

[handsome joe]

No I think that has something to do with something else.

OK, my name's Handsome Joe and I have a problem. I’ve been a Lycra-abuser for 4 years, but i didn't realise the extent of my addiction till a few months ago. Day by day i am getting help with removing this insidious disease from my life.

This is my story. When i hit rock bottom. The first night and the following day was fine, but the next day my manager called me into her office. She pointed at my crotch, commenting how inappropriate Lycra was as office work wear and 'enough was enough but sorry I just can’t have someone walking around like this'. I explain my compulsion and how my tights were a second skin but my manager didn't understand, how could she?

I was sent home on leave with the promise of their full support and some counselling. I went to pick up the kids from school. Yes, I felt the stares and heard the muffled giggles coming from the other parents. I didn’t care because I knew they weren't feeling the insulating qualities of this material. They stood shivering while I was snug, comfy and with a superior glow. When the school children saw me some pointed, with eyes bulging.....sorry...that's the wrong word....i mean enlarged...oh no....that's no right either. Anyway my kids were very quiet on the way home.

My manager rang me a couple of days later to enquire if i was wearing 'normal' clothes. I drove her off with MY DEFINITION of 'normal clothes'. For some reason my wife banned me from taking or picking up the children from school. I stopped going shopping. Granted there was a peculiar smell coming from my tights after a week but in a strange way it was my 'smell', a friendly smell.

After a month things took a turn for the worse. I am ashamed to say this but i couldn't face pulling them down when i urinated or when I cleared my bowels. Things were desperate. I resorted to making a little tear in my tights, front and rear, to allow me to carry on as normal. But things went further downhill and i lost my job, family. I now live in a hostel for Lycra-dependent men. I am still wearing my Lycra tights but through the detox program i have started to remove them twice a week for 5 minutes. With help and support i am slowly overcoming this addiction. Please past this message, as warning, onto other potential Lycra-abusers.