Things you'd like to say, but can't

[pplpilot]

We've always had a relaxed working ethic here, and for the 14 years I've been here it has worked well. We all go that extra mile to get the job done so we can move onto the next, we all work as a team, any of us can call on any of our colleagues for a little extra help and no matter how busy they are they will stop and help out. But since you bought us out and come in laying down all these new 'rules' and basically sanitized the place everyone now is on a 'i don't give a fook and it's not my job' attitude. The morale is at rock bottom. Well I tell you what seeing as we all have 'rules' to follow i'm going to start by following the rules set out in my contract which say 39hrs... not the regular 50 and 60 we used to do before your appearance, the days when we all used to just get on with it without the rule book following us around.*

*I am actually on the verge of saying this.

 

[Scoosh]

No, I cannot do this poxy stupid thing for you because 'You are so much quicker at this sort of thing' Have you seen my desk? No Neither have I because of all the bloody paperwork on it!!!!

You could always respond with:
"I would hate to restrict your skills advancement, so it is much better that you learn to do this quickly and efficiently, so there is more than one of us here who is able to be 'so much quicker at this sort of thing' ".

 

[fossyant]

Stop phoning us up at early oclock at weekends because you have dropped a stitch knitting or cant reach the TV remote.

And when we don't answer dont call back a little later and say 'I am still waiting' on the answer phone.

This is the mother in law. No joke.

 

[Mrs M]

We used to unplug the phone, ignoring it wasn't an option as it just kept ringing.
Also had a certain ring, always knew who it was.

 

[fossyant]

I will be unplugging it. If she can't get my missus she will then phone me and then start phoning the kids. Argh.

We even got I forgot a tablet can you come round at 9.30pm. The bloody tablet was just 6 feet away. She can walk that far but because she was in bed wanted us to go round.

 

[Mrs M]

We've found a nice "home" for you.

 

[gavgav]

No, I don't think I will have this crumbling filling replaced today thanks.

 

[Puddles]

Oh how nice, your slappy, kicky, bitey rude daughter has her friend over for the day the other slappy, kicky, bitey, rude child.... I do hope they slap, kick, bite and be rude to each other perhaps they will then learn it hurts

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Sun is out so neighbour thinks whole town should listen to her radio. Friends will be round to get loud and drunk soon.

 

[TheDoctor]

You're welcome. Absolutely no need to mention all the work I've done off my own bat over the past six months to make the AGM a success. It was kind of your boss to walk straight past me and thank you for presenting my work.

And you wonder why the employee opinion survey in our area is the lowest in the business.

Good Lord, do you work with me?

 

[Saluki]

To the lass today, who I think might have her own postcode.

Yes I am overweight and on a bike but I don't appreciate being called a fat c*** by someone who is well over twice my weight and a good 6" shorter. Take a look in the mirror Ducky. While you are at it, leggings and a crop top are NOT a good look, neither is a huge bar of chocolate in one hand and a large pack of doritos in the other.

(Yes I know it makes me sound like a weight nazi but I object to being called the c-word)

 

[ScotiaLass]

I have tried to ignore what you've done to me.
If the grief of losing my father wasn't enough, you pull this one?
I wasn't going to do anything but ignore you, but it's wrong. I have taken legal advice - watch the doormat.

 

[Saluki]

I have tried to ignore what you've done to me.
If the grief of losing my father wasn't enough, you pull this one?
I wasn't going to do anything but ignore you, but it's wrong. I have taken legal advice - watch the doormat.

That family member again?

 

[ScotiaLass]

That family member again?

How did you guess!

 

[Saluki]

How did you guess!

Call it intuition. Families eh? So glad that I don't have one.