An open letter to all condescending male chauvinist cyclists

[ufkacbln]

Is the "we" as a cycle chat male collective?
You're not responsible



Yes, the op is directed at male cyclists, because this is a cycling forum and because I described some manners of some male cyclists towards female cyclists.
What happens in your wife's work (and in mine) is irrelevant in this discussion.

Not relevant either what other (male or female) cyclists said to you in the past, or the spirit in which you took the comments.
All I'm saying (again) to all male cyclists on this cycling forum is: I am not taking this behavior anymore.
If you're not like that, apologies, have a giggle when my pump hits the ones that are like that.
Please feel free to tell other cyclists not on this forum: gatecrashing the Glasgow Belles rides, offering unsolicited comments (unasked for help, if you will), is not acceptable to us.
Thank you.

Can I stop ducking yet?

 

[Justinslow]

Show me one with some value, and we will see.

I rest my case.

 

[r04DiE]

I must say that I never offer advice to anybody, usually for fear of them taking it the wrong way. But sometimes I really do want to. When I see people 's hips rocking because their saddle is too high, when I see them grinding away up hills, when their rear light is very dim. Can't stand to see somebody perhaps danger, or unnecessarily uncomfortable.

Actually, that reminds me, I did chat with a girl at the lights recently just to tell her that her back light wasn't too bright - I just said "I'm not meaning to be a twat, but your back light is a little low, I mean, its okay, you can see it, but you might want to pop the batteries on charge if you can later." I braced myself. She flashed me a smile and said thanks, she thought it might be about time to charge it. We had a bit of a chat about the traffic and the weather and then off we went.

I think that's the one and only time I've ever offered advice to anybody on another bike, not sure why I did it to be honest.

I do always ask if people are okay if I see them by the side of the road, mending stuff, but that has only ever been men, except once, when I was on my motorbike, that was a woman.

 

[Justinslow]

Twice. Omigod. I hadn't realised your suffering.

Well then, you know just what it's like to be a woman.

So on this basis then, no male has a right of reply?

 

[Justinslow]

As has been said many times already, there is a vast difference between telling someone their back light isn't very visible and telling that person they want to change their style or bike set-up ... when they might not want to do that at all.


See above. What reply are you actually offering?

It seems I can't offer anything as I'm not a woman?

 

[jefmcg]

It seems I can't offer anything as I'm not a woman?

No, you precious snowflake. It's because you are giving an example that has happened twice in your life to respond to a problem every women will have encountered twice in one day.

 

[Dayvo]

In a nutshell:

If you're a male cyclist who doesn't offer unwanted advice/comments to female riders, please carry on doing so.

If you're a male cyclist who does offer unwanted advice/comment to female riders, please stop and become one of the above.

End of discussion (hopefully).

 

[Justinslow]

No, you precious snowflake. It's because you are giving an example that has happened twice in your life to respond to a problem every women will have encountered twice in one day.

You see this is the thing, I can't recall my wife or any female friends EVER having a conversation with me (and we do talk) regarding this topic let alone "twice in one day". It just doesn't ring true for me sorry.

 

[jefmcg]

End of discussion (hopefully).

Well, it didn't end it 17(?!) pages ago.

If you don't do those things, then everyone should be happy. If you do do those things, then yes the letter is relevant to you.

 

[Spinney]

Doesn't happen to me either.
But that does not mean 'it does not ring true' to me. I am aware that these things do happen frequently to other women. For some women, I imagine it is so much a part of 'normal' life that they do not mention it. That does not make it acceptable, however.

 

[jefmcg]

You see this is the thing, I can't recall my wife or any female friends EVER having a conversation with me (and we do talk) regarding this topic let alone "twice in one day". It just doesn't ring true for me sorry.

This ^^^^

You seem to think you are more qualified on sexism than those of us who experience it.

And if you won't listen to us telling you are experiences, do you wonder that others in your life don't tell you about it?

 

[Justinslow]

This ^^^^

You seem to think you are more qualified on sexism than those of us who experience it.

And if you won't listen to us telling you are experiences, do you wonder that others in your life don't tell you about it?

I'm sure they happen, and didn't mean to belittle your own experience, but "twice a day" every day, really? You must live/work in "dickhead central"

Just in my narrow life it's not something that crops up. I don't believe it has anything to do with whether women feel comfortable talking to me about it!

 

[david k]

I must say that I never offer advice to anybody, usually for fear of them taking it the wrong way. But sometimes I really do want to. When I see people 's hips rocking because their saddle is too high, when I see them grinding away up hills, when their rear light is very dim. Can't stand to see somebody perhaps danger, or unnecessarily uncomfortable.

Actually, that reminds me, I did chat with a girl at the lights recently just to tell her that her back light wasn't too bright - I just said "I'm not meaning to be a twat, but your back light is a little low, I mean, its okay, you can see it, but you might want to pop the batteries on charge if you can later." I braced myself. She flashed me a smile and said thanks, she thought it might be about time to charge it. We had a bit of a chat about the traffic and the weather and then off we went.

I think that's the one and only time I've ever offered advice to anybody on another bike, not sure why I did it to be honest.

I do always ask if people are okay if I see them by the side of the road, mending stuff, but that has only ever been men, except once, when I was on my motorbike, that was a woman.

Pretty much my view, I don't offer advice as I'm not entirely sure I'm experienced or qualified enough. I do see people riding with their seat low, stomping away and think they could improve their cycling if they just tweaked this or that but I never say anything as I don't feel it's my place or they may get defensive.

I usually stop or slow down to say "you ok?" If someone has a puncture or similar, don't think this has ever been a woman, but that's just chance, I've never really took notice of gender before slowing down.
If someone initiated a discussion around the issue I may share my thoughts but that's probably about it.

I am surprised this is such as issue for females, I've never seen it or witnessed it, but as I'm a man who keeps himself to himself most the time when out cycling I wouldn't necassarily see it either way. I have to therefore asssume its accurate and will bear it in mind if ever I find myself compelled to say something.

My bike skills should be far better than they are so it's more likely that another cyclist female or male would be offering me advice

 

[theclaud]

I'm sure they happen, and didn't mean to belittle your own experience, but "twice a day" every day, really? You must live/work in "dickhead central"

I don't think @jefmcg is anywhere near Suffolk.

 

[theclaud]

You see this is the thing, I can't recall my wife or any female friends EVER having a conversation with me (and we do talk) regarding this topic let alone "twice in one day". It just doesn't ring true for me sorry.

Wow it's a total mystery why women don't talk to you about this stuff.