An open letter to all condescending male chauvinist cyclists

[arch684]

What we have here is failure to communicate some men you just can't reach

 

[Lee_M]

I was told once that I should be spinning up a climb instead of grinding.

Should I have felt patronised? or does that only happen if the advice is given to a woman?

Some people give advice, some dont
Some want help, some dont

I can't believe this thread is still going after 26 pages

 

[velovoice]

I can't believe this thread is still going after 26 pages

 

[Lee_M]

View attachment 347171

well quite :-)

On the other hand we have women in our club who are quite happy to stand back when they get a puncture and let others do the fix, should we be helping or should we be helping them be independent?
To be clear, we also have women perfectly capable and willing to do their own fixes and also men who couldn't spell "tyre lever".

and to be really clear, we have women who can ride rings round me and disappear up hills like a rat up a drain pipe - I have no problem with strong women (my sisters were both olympic athletes, I grew up with being the least capable sports person!!)

 

[Jody]

I was driving the van up the M1 a couple of weeks ago. An artic. behind me started giving me the full headlight flashing treatment......just as the steering felt all wrong. Luckily, I got onto the hard shoulder before the tyre went pop. I was grateful to the lorry driver. I didn't feel that he wanted to score any points or feel "all superior". I would have been delighted if somebody at the last service station had said " that tyre's a bit flat".

 

[mjr]

To quote myself...I don't expect the ratio to be ALL:NONE, but more likely MOST:FEW. The latter still demonstrates the underlying problem.

Doesn't the current imbalance of cycling (2:1 male:female in the 2014/15 Active People Survey) make it almost certain that's going to be MOST:FEW? And the number of men getting unsolicited patronising advice from other men would be even more than that "MOST"?

I agree with @jonny jeez (for a change!) - it's an idiot thing, not a male thing and the OP was very wrong to write "Dear male cyclists" rather than something like "Dear idiot cyclists". I've had bizarre advice from all sorts, as well as good advice sometimes, including from a few people IRL who are on here. If you want to be almost certain of receiving some truly stupid comments, even from fairly inexpert riders who you may see do some odd things, turn up to an organised century ride in ordinary clothing on an old "light sports" three-speed!

 

[Wobblers]

Doesn't the current imbalance of cycling (2:1 male:female in the 2014/15 Active People Survey) make it almost certain that's going to be MOST:FEW? And the number of men getting unsolicited patronising advice from other men would be even more than that "MOST"?

I agree with @jonny jeez (for a change!) - it's an idiot thing, not a male thing and the OP was very wrong to write "Dear male cyclists" rather than something like "Dear idiot cyclists". I've had bizarre advice from all sorts, as well as good advice sometimes, including from a few people IRL who are on here. If you want to be almost certain of receiving some truly stupid comments, even from fairly inexpert riders who you may see do some odd things, turn up to an organised century ride in ordinary clothing on an old "light sports" three-speed!

No. We've had just about every woman on this thread comment on how this has happened to them (and also commented that this happens to them in other areas of their life). On the other hand, very few men have said that it happens to them: it certainly never has to me. If this were due to just a small population of bellends (as good a description as any, I feel), you'd expect that both men and women would be patronised in this manner equally. The experiences recounted in the last 26 pages are very stark, and very clear - it's women who overwhelmingly have to put up with this.

 

[jefmcg]

I was driving the van up the M1 a couple of weeks ago. An artic. behind me started giving me the full headlight flashing treatment......just as the steering felt all wrong. Luckily, I got onto the hard shoulder before the tyre went pop. I was grateful to the lorry driver. I didn't feel that he wanted to score any points or feel "all superior". I would have been delighted if somebody at the last service station had said " that tyre's a bit flat".

Yes, the problem is that the "helpful" comments drown out the actually helpful comments.

Once a MVM in the far lane started shouting things at me. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I didn't need to. He wanted me to know that he wanted to have sex with me, or did not want to have sex with me. Perhaps he wanted to share his opinion on cycling in general or my cycling in particular or where cyclists belong. I'd heard them all, many times. But as I was raising my hand to respond with a suitable gesture, I finally made out the words "You're rear tyre is flat". Which it was. Quickly modified the gesture to a thumbs up, and got off the road to sort it.

It is literally the only time a shout from a van has been helpful. If you had had similar experiences on the motorway, with artics often flashing at you, you would have responded differently.

 

[jefmcg]

it's women who overwhelmingly have to put up with this.

And @User76

 

[Dogtrousers]

I've just remembered, I was once informed that my rear lights were not switched on (it was dark at the time) by another cyclist. That cyclist was ... dum dum dummmm .... female.

(And also occasionally active on this forum, but I've not seen her for a while)

I know that's utterly irrelevant to the subject at hand but I thought I'd let you know.

I don't think I've ever been on the receiving end of opinionated unasked-for cycling advice. But it's always possible that I have but I just didn't bother listening to what the other person was saying. A drunk man on a train did once ask me what my best bike was, after looking at my pride and joy and deciding that I really must have a better one at home.

 

[jonny jeez]

Neither can I. Still, to be fair, the only reason it is is because people keep starting it back up by posting different variations on the same point "but it happens to men as well" where that point has been dealt with several times over.

Clearly not all the reasons people have felt motivated to reply to this thread had been addressed. You may believe they have. If they actually had then why was the thread title changed.

This isn't only about some men defending sexism, it isn't only about some men complaining that "it happens to us all" there was more going on in this thread than one thing that you would like to feel has been "dealt with".

 

[Pat "5mph"]

the OP was very wrong to write "Dear male cyclists" rather than something like "Dear idiot cyclists".

When it happens that an unknown to me woman gives me unsolicited, random advice while I'm riding my bike I will post about it.

 

[mjr]

No. We've had just about every woman on this thread comment on how this has happened to them (and also commented that this happens to them in other areas of their life). On the other hand, very few men have said that it happens to them: it certainly never has to me.

I think the relative difference between male/female in propensity to comment here if it's happened to you is due to various social pressures, plus the rather one-sided thread title.

 

[AndyRM]

And @User76

You owe me a keyboard.

 

[jefmcg]

Dear male cyclists" rather than something like "Dear idiot cyclists".

Dunning Kruger. Idiots don't know they are idiots, so they think will it doesn't apply to them.

BTW, men who complained about the original title: If you go to the gents in a pub, and there was a sign saying "Men, please refrain from urinating in the mop sink" would you storm out (after arranging your clothing) and complain to the manager "I'm a man and I would never pee in the sink. I'm insulted by that sign and want you to remove it immediately!", or would you just think to yourself "That doesn't apply to me, it applies to men who may urinate in the sink" and go about your day?