Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

My half-brother and I aren't allowed to play with chainsaws any more.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Not new but it still makes me smile every time.

 

[mistyoptic]

This Christmas I do not want any member of this forum to get caught drink driving

or worse still - to be in an "accident" caused by drink-driving

I know it can be difficult to fit things in so I have assembled an experiences team of people to help
The members of this team are experienced and ready and willing to help

All you need to do is give us a ring and we will drop everything and


drink for you so you can drive safely

Jolly noble of you. Much appreciated

 

[craigwend]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Chris S]

View attachment 794975

That should be, "Alexa, play a Wayne County song."

 

[Chris S]

 

[tyred]

 

[matticus]

This woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the undertaker that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?"
"No," she insists as she hands him a check to buy one. "It must be blue."

When she comes back for the wake, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells the director how much she loves the suit and asks how much it cost.

He says, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her... So then it was just a matter of switching the heads."

 

[craigwend]

Xxxxxxx

 

[tyred]

 

[craigwend]

 

[raleighnut]

View attachment 795070

The management had a brainwave though and teamed her up with Freddie King..............sorted

 

[Cavalol]

Xxxxxxx

View attachment 795060

Very clever!

 

[craigwend]