Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
An 18 year old girl tells her mum she has missed her period for a month. Very worried, the mother goes to Boots and buys a pregnancy test kit - the result confirms that her daughter is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge."
"I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a £2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and £2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You sleep with her again."
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge."
"I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a £2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and £2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You sleep with her again."
My favourite Van Slogan is a local butchers called Wales, the back of their vans reads " Scotch Beef from Wales"
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
How do you know if someone's a vegan?
They tell you.
They tell you.
How many posts have I made that mentions that I am?
wheresthetorch
Dreaming of Celeste
- Location
- West Sussex
This one?
srw
It's a bit more complicated than that...
https://www.cyclechat.net/search/11645845/?q=vegan&o=relevance&c[user][0]=21352
Six explicitly, and another seven before this one implicitly.
Tenacious Sloth
Guru
- Location
- Huntingdon, UK
Which reminds me:
At the Last Supper there was a bag containing the biblical equivalent of a six pack of lager.
It was Judas's carry out.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
Jesus and his disciples go into a restaurant, "table for 26 please". "but sir, there are only 13 of you", "ah but we all want to sit on one side"
(probably been done in the 400+ pages above but hey ho)
