simon the viking
Guru
I've just been charged 50 quid for a Hi-Viz vest....
They saw me coming
They saw me coming
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
^^^^im gonna pinch that one^^^^^
LeetleGreyCells
Un rouleur infatigable
- Location
- Whitehaven Mansions
What’s the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
Bing sings and Walt dis nae.
I have gone right off you.
I have just gone on CC to post that one.
But I was going to warn others that it is one of the worst jokes ever.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
I went to my boss and asked if I could talk to him about a problem.
"We don't have problems here, we have opportunities"
"OK" I replied, "I have a serious drinking opportunity"
"We don't have problems here, we have opportunities"
"OK" I replied, "I have a serious drinking opportunity"
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a
Large sum of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the
Child.
Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide
Child support until the child turned 1 8.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and
Write "Spaghetti" on the back when the child was born.
He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.
One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
"Honey," she said, "You received a very strange postcard today."
"Oh, just give it to me, and I'll explain it later," he answered.
The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card,
Turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce!"
One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a
Large sum of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the
Child.
Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide
Child support until the child turned 1 8.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and
Write "Spaghetti" on the back when the child was born.
He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.
One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
"Honey," she said, "You received a very strange postcard today."
"Oh, just give it to me, and I'll explain it later," he answered.
The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card,
Turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce!"
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
What currantly
Electric_Andy
Heavy Metal Fan
- Location
- Plymouth
A lorry carrying Vicks vapour rub has overturned on the M25. There's been no congestion for 8 hours
