Any good jokes ... ?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by cisamcgu, 31 May 2011.

  1. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    A man wins second plaice in a cooking competition.
    He was beaten by the delicious lemon-flavoured coating on the winner’s fish dish.
    As he watches his victor climb the stage to accept his award, he muses ruefully,

    ‘There but for the glaze of cod go I’.
     
    Last edited: 15 May 2019
    Chris S, colly, Cavalol and 5 others like this.
  2. Lullabelle

    Lullabelle Banana

    Location:
    Midlands UK
    When sewing always remember the importance of pattern placing
    IMG_20190515_201521_672.jpg
     
    CarlP, Dayvo, alicat and 14 others like this.
  3. PaulB

    PaulB Guru

    Location:
    Colne
    I asked my manager if I could have some time off since it was so close to Christmas. It's May, he said so I answered, "May I have some time off since it's so close to Christmas?"
     
    Chris S, Fnaar, Smokin Joe and 7 others like this.
  4. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    I recently got jacuzzi and yakuza confused and really got into hot water with the Japanese mafia.
     
    Fnaar, Wixsteman, Cavalol and 5 others like this.
  5. PaulB

    PaulB Guru

    Location:
    Colne
    The UK’S no 1 ventriloquist is celebrating tonight after his wife gave birth to a 7lb 10oz gouncing gagy goy!!..
     
    gaz71, Fnaar, Smokin Joe and 3 others like this.
  6. :notworthy: a like wasn't enough
     
    Fnaar and Cavalol like this.
  7. Cavalol

    Cavalol Veteran

    Location:
    Chester
    Roger Daltrey has written his car off by accidentally filling it with diesel instead of petrol. It won’t get fuelled again.
     
    Chris S, Fnaar, Smokin Joe and 7 others like this.
  8. Dayvo

    Dayvo Just passin' through

    Location:
    oSLo
    Too serious to be a joke, really, but a point well made.

    ol8UToSo7twKOMCnajPC0dL4uRP3QTCjts3mgBCByj8IRhY_tiWn5khxp3g7RzjBCENyJNWw&_nc_ht=scontent.fosl4-2.jpg
     
    PaulB, Oldbloke, Kestevan and 2 others like this.
  9. Cavalol

    Cavalol Veteran

    Location:
    Chester
    I just showed my GP the rash on my bum, and he seemed proper uncomfortable-like he didn't want to touch it. He just said 'Make an appointment at the surgery tomorrow', & walked off with his family and shopping trolley.
     
    Chris S, PaulB, raleighnut and 5 others like this.
  10. benb

    benb Evidence based cyclist

    Location:
    Epsom
    There shouldn't be a line between "Stop" and "Express your opinion"
    Agree with the sentiment though.
     
    CharlesF and Fnaar like this.
  11. Cavalol

    Cavalol Veteran

    Location:
    Chester
    Sasquatch is disrespected by people who question his existence. Yeti never complains.
     
    PaulB, slowwww, Wixsteman and 3 others like this.
  12. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    Location:
    Thumberland
    :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
     
  13. Diogenes

    Diogenes Opinions, schminions

    What's black and white and red all over?



    A penguin holding it's breath
     
    raleighnut, Cavalol and Oldbloke like this.
  14. glasgowcyclist

    glasgowcyclist Charming but somewhat feckless

    Location:
    Scotland
    Reminds me of the commentator's quote at the 2008 Olympics:
    'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
     
    Threevok, raleighnut, Cavalol and 2 others like this.
  15. bruce1530

    bruce1530 Über Member

    Location:
    Ayrshire
    “The bowler’s Holding, the Batsman’s Willey..”
     
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