A man wins second plaice in a cooking competition.
He was beaten by the delicious lemon-flavoured coating on the winner’s fish dish.
As he watches his victor climb the stage to accept his award, he muses ruefully,
I just showed my GP the rash on my bum, and he seemed proper uncomfortable-like he didn't want to touch it. He just said 'Make an appointment at the surgery tomorrow', & walked off with his family and shopping trolley.