Any good jokes ... ?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by cisamcgu, 31 May 2011.

  1. Leaway2

    Leaway2 Guru

    Location:
    Manchester (Sale)
    Answer - Hands and feet doesn't fit :whistle:
     
    Cavalol and Dave7 like this.
  2. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    Coming out of Asda this morning, there was a woman crying her eyes out. She'd lost all her holiday money. I felt so sorry for her I gave her £50.

    I don't usually do that kind of thing, but I felt generous, as I'd just found £2,000 in the car park.
     
  3. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Location:
    Chester
    Watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night and all of a sudden the guy on the triangle disappeared.
     
  4. Dayvo

    Dayvo Just passin' through

    Location:
    oSLo
  5. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Location:
    Chester
    Just read that the UK prison population is ballooning. What sort of message does that send out when hardened criminals are allowed such expensive treats?
     
  6. postman

    postman Legendary Member

    Location:
    Meanwood ,Leeds
    An old mate of mine just got divorced he got 50% of the house,she got the inside he got the outside.
     
  7. postman

    postman Legendary Member

    Location:
    Meanwood ,Leeds
    Mrs Postman has gone ballistic.I decided to do some diy ,i fancied knocking two rooms in to one.It appears the dining room and bedroom is not a good idea.
     
  8. glasgowcyclist

    glasgowcyclist Charming but somewhat feckless

    Location:
    Scotland
    My wife just said that she doesn't know what the cloning machine does.
    I said, "That makes two of us."
     
  9. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Location:
    Chester
    Just been thrown out of the vegan restaurant. Turns out it was a florists.
     
  10. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    Last evening, my neighbour yelled so loudly, that even I brushed my teeth and went to bed.
     
  11. morrisman

    morrisman Veteran

    My friend has been up in court for defacing library books, he was discovered tippexing all the full stops out, the judge said he should expect a long sentence.
     
    raleighnut, Leaway2, slowwww and 12 others like this.
  12. morrisman

    morrisman Veteran

    I was taken to court for refusing to have an afternoon nap, charges with Resisting Arrest
     
  13. guitarpete247

    guitarpete247 Just about surviving

    Location:
    Leicestershire
    ∆∆∆∆ Someone's been listening to "The Pin". on 4 Extra.
     
    Cavalol, morrisman and Salty seadog like this.
  14. CharlesF

    CharlesF Veteran

    Location:
    Glasgow
    "What do you do for a living?"


    "I'm the lead singer in a ‘Black Eyed Peas’ tribute band”


    “I find that hard to believe”


    “Well I am”.
     
    Chris S, SpokeyDokey, Cavalol and 6 others like this.
  15. PeteXXX

    PeteXXX Cake or ice cream? The choice is endless ...

    Location:
    Hamtun
    Why don't ants often get sick?

    Because they have anty bodies..

    :rolleyes:
     
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